An Absurd Encounter of the Close Kind (Past)

 

Noms o' HymnBull ("Abe Lincoln...")

Abe Lincoln. 'A,' blinkin.’

Ape-link kin. “Hey, Blynkin’!” *

What thinkin' bring linguists 

like Chomsky to Bingen…? **

 

    * Partner in Wynkin, Nod & Associates

    ** For discussions with Hildegard, very possibly.

 

Believers. 'B' levers.

Bea'll leave hers. “Beale! Heave furs!”

Four issues unbroach’d

by Ricardos* or Cleavers...**

 

    * Ricky & Lucy   ** Ward & June

 

Sees a Sargasso Sea.

Seizes Czar’s gas…? Hose 'C'!

Both would go unremark’d,

were things left up to me.

 

Comedy. Comma'd ',D.'

Calm Midi. “Colm...? Meet Dhee!”

All four’ve been examin’d.

Why none do you see...?

 

A treaty. A treed 'E.’

Hut Tree Tea. Hud: 3-D!

Intelligent...? No.

Apropos...? Si! Indeedy!

 

The stone-deaf. The stoned 'F.’

Thus toned, Eff-___... "The Stoweffe."

(No messages, Hugh...? Why has

nobody phoned, Hef...?)

 

The genome. The 'G' gnome.

The Jean Home. Thug Gene Holme.

Poor exiles! For decades 

they've not even seen home.

 

Old age. Holed 'H.’

Hold, Daitche! Whole d’Age.

Each savant a jester;

each joker a sage.

 

The ice axe. The 'I' sacks.

This eye's sax. “Thee, I, zacs... “

My software she -- not once, 

not twice, but three times -- hacks!

 

A jailhouse. A 'J' louse.

Hutch/alehouse. Hudge, eh...? Louse!

Live embers one must 

with one's firefighter's pail douse...

 

Auntie Kaye. Antique 'K.'

An' teak...? Hey! And, decay.

As do Marlowe and Huxley,

we flux antic hay...

 

A motel. A moat...? Hell! 

La mode 'L.’ Amo d'El.

So...which tale will to Curly 

and Larry Mo tell...?

 

Diadem. Dyad 'M.'

Dye-a-Dem..."Die, Haddem!"

Each brings us luck.

Have no truck with no triad, Em!

 

Behold: 'N'! Bea, holdin.’

Bee-hole/den. Be whole, Den!

Four homonym'd phrases.

(The trey's good-as-golden.)

 

Billed: The Sky Pilot 'O.'

Build a Skype; pile up dough!

Jammin' cats in pajamas scat:

"Voh dee oh doh...!"

 

Four canapes. Fork an’ ope peas!

Phor canno’ please. For Can: hope, peace.

Who'd can a man from Pakistan

you cannot stand -- but can appease...?

 

The "I'll hike. You…?” The jai alai queue.

The aisle I cue. The "Heil," Ike Q!”

For I, like you, don't like haiku,

although -- no lie! – I'm shy like you.

 

The hard Hardy 'R.'

The heart-hearty "Arrr-r-r-r-r-r-rrr...!"

The heart ER's hard at work...?

Har-dee-har-har...

 

Their morning recess,

as they're mourning Reese Hess!

P.S.: Résistance...? Futile – 

oui, even pièces...

 

Duty calls. Dude...? 'T' galls.

Due: Tea. (Gaul’s...?) Dew'd teak halls. 

These be homonyms lewd –

but to who lewd…? Ye...? Balls...!

 

Isle of  'U.' I'll off Hugh.

Eyloff Ewe. "Heil!" (a few).

I love you...? Better: Use all three -- 

'aisle,' 'huff" and 'hue...'

 

Oh, hello, VIPS!  

Oh hell: 'O'/'V' eyepiece. 

Ring the Royal Canadian 

Mounted Police!

 

Double you. Dub Bull "Hugh"!

Double U. Double hue. 

Fooled us twice, Dubya, did

(Was it much trouble to...?)

 

The Second Sex. The second's ‘X.’.

The secant's hex. Thus Hec conn’d Dex.

The duelers Burr (my cousin 

dates his second ex)…?  His second's Tex.

 

Tho,' why not...? Thou whine, Ott.

The 'Y' knot. The Wynotte. 

Which homonym...? You choose.

(Just don't serve my wine hot.)

 

A zebra. A Z bra.

Ass/Hebe/Ra. “I seep -- rah! "

Above; so below.

(Just don't go with no libra!)

 

     Homonymbol extras

(under consideration for development):

 

the ozone and the O zone

the dyke ewe and the dye Q

the Iron Age and the high urn H.

The Ida Lupino and the Hide A Loo Pinot

the Mississippi and the misses sip pee and the "Ms is hip, P!" 

the Friday and the fried A and the fright -- hey!...

the Rhodie and the row'd E and Thoreau/Dee 

the Age of Innocence and the H: A fin o' cents

Dark Ages and D'Arc cages and "Hark, Hs!" 

the protege and the proto J

the gopher (Bro Ken) and the go-for-broke N