Native princess Pocahontas.
John Rolfe loved her. (So did Disney.)
Drumpf derides and mocks this woman.
(Lay’n’ a Hoax Upon Us…isn’ he…?)
Moral:
The House of Repre-
sentatives
is right now pondering,
"What gives!?"
II.
Pecos Bill, ol’ cowpokes say,
broke buckin’ broncs -- tye-yippee-yay! --
while Blake O’Spill gets thrown from bulls
at Lone Star cow-town tractor pulls.
Moral:
No matter if your nonsense
be galactic or sublunar,
do not let Herr U'dish'ion
run away with Rev’d 'Spoon'er!
III.
Bunyan...? Giant North Woods lumberjack
who ‘Paul’ was christen’d.
Pun-Yan, nicknamed “Bawl”…? Brash Sino-punster.
(No one listen’d).
Moral:
Pilgrim’s Progress…
Giant’s Onions...
Wait! Beware
conflated Bunyans!
IV.
Casey Jones...? A locomotive driver.
Crushed! (Too graphic...?)
So: who sets out those orange thingies...?
J. C. Cones, from Traffic.
Moral:
Stay 'tween the cones!
Stay on the tracks!
'Twill spare you falling
through the cracks.
V.
Hopalong Cassidy: cowpoke on
horse.
The cop along has a D...? A police officer -- the one
accompanying me in my squad car -- displays his
performance report card, noting -- a bit too gleefully,
if you ask me -- how he narrowly avoided receiving
a failing grade in this quarter's racial sensitivity
course.
Moral:
Some Spoonerisms
call for more
than rhyming couplets --
that's for shore.
VI.
Elvis Presley (RIP):
polemicist in denim tights.
Pelvis S. (like Robert E.):
supremacist re southern whites.
Moral:
To diff'rent drummers do your dance --
nor never do Ulysses Grant's.
VII.
Preston Sturges hollers, “Roll!”
Ten thousand ducks (or so ‘twere bill’d),
don hats. Then down they Sunset stroll.
(That screwball’s Stetson Purchase kill’d.)
Moral:
To win an Oscar now and then
may well depend on gallons ten.
Next up:
Davy Crockett & K-V'd Rocket
Watson's Jim & Jots 'n' Whim
Natty Bumppo & Batty Numppo
Ichabod Crane & Kick a Bad Reign
Sweeney Todd & Teenie's Wad
Rip Van Winkle & Whip Fan Rinkle
Joe Magarac & Moe Jagger...ack!
Old Black Joe & Bold Jack Hoe
Br'er Rabbit & Rare Babbit
Hiawatha & Why A Hatha?
Sam Bass & Ba'am's Ass
Finn Mac Cool & Kin McFool
