Speak Absurdish! A Tutorial

Preparing Your Text

(1) Begin by setting out consonants in some regular order -- e.g., standard alphabetical ( b, c, d, f, g...), reverse (z, x, w, v...), alternating between front and back (b, z, c, x, d, w...), center-outward alternating (m, n, l, p, k...) -- or in any desired pattern. Repeat the series as necessary, depending on the proposed length of the text being created -- whether a poetic motto or slogan, a distich or quatrain...or a brief prose epic.

 
(2) Next, insert vowels -- the standard five or the series augmented with 'y' -- in between the consonants at regular or randomly selected intervals, repeating the series as the length of the proposed work proves necessary. Occasionally, double a vowel -- especially the e and the o.
  
(3) Add spaces between word-like letter sequences to form nonsense words. For nonsense verse, the implicit accents of these words should ideally imply some regular meter or other.

  
(4) To demonstrate erudition (genuine or otherwise), introduce diacritical marks -- foreign accents, umlauts etc. -- by replacing selected characters with marked alternates. Disregard the actual linguistic import of such marks.

 
(5) Liberally distribute caps and punctuation at random throughout to establish additional rhythm pattern and meta-meaning.

(6) Attach a fanciful title -- in English (a translation, perhaps...?) and as non-sequiturish as possible, in order to introduce more -- though ultimately meaningless, of course -- connotation.

Examples 

(1) 
bcdfghjklmnpqrstvwxzbcdf...

 
(2a) 
b c d f g h j k l m n p q r s t v w x z... 

              ^   ^   ^   ^   ^   ^   

            aeiouyaeiouyaeiouyaei...

(2b)
b a c e d i f o g u h a j e k i l o m u n a p e q i r o o s u t a v e w i x o y u z b a c...

(3) 
bac edi fogu hajek ilo muna peqiroo sut ave wixo yuz... 

(4) (The keyboard I'm using doesn't provide for alternate characters. Be sure to secure one which does.) 

(5) 
Bac edi -- fogu...?  Hajek ilo muna (peqiroo sut) ave: Wixo yuz!

(6a)

 
Palimpsest 
 
Bac edi -- fogu...? Hajek ilo mun-  *  *  *  *  -a (peqiro sut) 'ave: wix...oyuz!
 
(N.B.: Inserted asterisks indicate missing or illegible text 
in an imagined original.)

(6b) The following is a recent couplet composed by a beginning composition student of Uly Poe's, young Smig E. ("The Jet Man") Smig:

 
Distichy Wicket
 
Malnek pi joquhr, gasfet divoc: wub xayzee:
bad eg, "Jilno qu..." Syvax zec -- fhik! -- mo prutwy!

 
(a work in progress)