The Family E'arp': a Two-Act Comic 'Arp'era in B Double Sh'arp' Major for Pre'par'ed H'arp'sichords Using the Left Hand Alone (C'arp'als Permitting), Tenor and H'arp' to Recite Aloud (Plus Eggcentricity V)

Act I

   A be-
mused musicologist, Theodore Karp,

  [sing do 
     (B double sharp)... do, re (C triple sharp)]

    with top 
Terpsichorean (danseuse) Twyla Tharp...

  [sing mi 
     (D triple sharp), rest through solo on harp]

    ...and John 
Irving (The World According to Garp),

  [sing fa
     (E double sharp)...fa, sol (F triple sharp)]

     each a 
member -- these past sev'ral decades -- of AARP...

  [thereon 
     slacken your carpals: more solos on harp]

     ...have i-
magined an "arp"'ra in B double sharp --

  [sing la 
     (G triple sharp); further solos on harp]

     for two
(pair'd) prepared harpsicords, tenor and harp...

  [sing la 
     (rest), la (rest): sev'ral more Gs (triply sharp'd)]

     ...and with 
sets by famed Dadaist Hans (ne Jean) Arp --
  [sing la 
     (rest), la (rest)... (more G's pile up (triple sharp'd)) 
     they see 
choreograph’d by th'aforemention’d Tharp...

  [sing la 
     (rest), la (rest): seven Gs (all triple sharp]

     ...who'll per-
form it in front of Arp's paint-spatter’d tarp

  [sing si 
     (some call it 'ti'), i.e., A triple sharp]

     on a 
stage steeply skew’d, a theatrical scarp...

  [sing: do, 
     si, la, sol, fa, mi, re. do! (Nineteen sharps!)]

     ...as the 
taciturn harpist, a Marxist named Harpo

   [The 
     Ballade of Morgan and Virgil and Newton…

arpeggiates, fingers aflutter...like carp...

  […and of 
     Warren and Wyatt: The Family E'arp']

fig. 1:
Unusual B Double Sharp Major Key Signature
as it Appears in Early Piano Reduction Mss

Act II 

Song: "What LARPs, Pip, what LARPs!" -- Pip pal Joe Gargery
Song:"Warp speed, Mr. Sulu! Warp speed!" -- Captain James Kirk
Song:"The worst is so often true."  -- Miss Jane Marple and chorus

(more of Act II to come: a work in progress)

Eggcentric Philosopher:
Rene D'eggCarton