Nursery Rhyme Alternate History: Little Miss Muffet

Arachnophobe...? Me...? Nonsense, this!
Though I accept how some may be.
I merely wished to save that miss
(the Muffet girl) from excess ghee.
     I'd seen her scarfing whey and curds,
as sat she on a grassy knoll.
Down I balloon'd and spoke these words:
"Please put aside your spoon and bowl!
     Though curds and whey be wholesome fare,
you need to green things eat each day."
"Don't bug me, bug! I couldn't care..."
said Muffet, "...less," and walk'd away.