Into which circle of hell should the ex-POTUS be plunged...?
It seems a case can be made for every one of the nine.
Canto I
Death don't heel for no schlemiel,
nor'll do She so for Don der Drumpf.
What's left...? To seal this deal: which wheel
of Dante's Hell Judge Doom should dumpf
this boob whose crime blooms overtime --
in Oval Off 'n' on the stumpf.
Canto II
"Such pests shan't rest in Limbo's Ring,"
Gehenna's Prosecutor states.
"Though Hell's First Ring be just the thing
some classic Attic odist rates,
still, Drumpf's "pest werds" (sic)...? For the birds!
(Plus, reading anything Drumpf hates)."
Canto III
"Does Drumpf not bust a gut with lust
as sure as Hombergs drop...?" asks Doom,
"...though, charged with rape, Drumpf purrs, non-pluss'd..."
"Drumpf hump'd me in a dressing room,"
notes E. Jean Carroll.* "Di'n't he just!"
adds Doom. "Thus Circle Two's his tomb."
* Journalist who accused Drumpf
of sexually assaulting her in a Bergdorf
Goodman changing facility.
Canto IV
"Hush your fuss," fumes Cerberus.*
"That Drumpf's a glutton nurse no doubt.
Big Macs, Drumpf Steaks, whole choc'late cakes
Drumpf stuffs into his MAGA mout.'
'Tis Circle Three, let's all agree,
edacious Donald's all about."
* The ravenous three-headed dog who
guards Hell's Circus of Gluttons.
Canto V
Half of Circuit-Four's for spenders;
half's," drawls Doom, "for hoods who'd hoard.
Clearly Drumpf's not 'mongst the lenders;
Herr Drumpf hoards -- across-the-board.
'Tis only just that Drumpf surrenders,
letting his Scrooged soul be Four'd!"
Canto VI
(more cantos to come: a work in progress)
