Physics Schmysics! (Unpub)

Once the whole world was
fire or earth, water or air.
That’s when God was head honcho.
Dissenters were rare.
Then a diff’rent reality
Albert E. bared:
it seems e equal’d m
times the speed of light squared.
 
Cast your mind back to Al,
him of mad-as-March hair.
To eschew Albert’s “view of the u”…?
Who dared dare…?
Yet some did disagree:
I, for one, bellow'd, “Merde!
Are you kiddin’ me…?
Energy’s m times c squared…?”
 
What next…? Dark matter, black holes,
charm quarks everywhere...?
Leapin’ leptons, bad bosons,
far fruitier fare…?
My Old Testament cosmos
can ne’er be repair’d –
not when energy’s mass
times the speed of light squared.
 
Are there cosmoi in parallel…?
Damn’d if I care!
Does my clock slow
the faster I go…? C’est la guerre!
I’d prefer Al’d not shared.
I’d much rather be spared
each new round that compounds
“E be (zounds!) mc².”

Rhymes With 'Jimmy the Greek' (Unpub)

My claim…? Names of Jameses,
through historyspeak,
in due time wind up rhyming
with ‘Jimmy the Greek.’
 
Who is James, King of Scotland,
but Jimmy Antique…?
Who is Jimmy Durante
but Jimmy the Beak…?
 
Isn’t James Joyce the novelist
Jimmy Oblique…?
Ain’t the Good Book’s James Less
merely Jimmy the Meek…?
 
Isn’t Bond…James Bond…aka
Jimmy the Chic…?
(As for Susan Saint James,
ain’t she Jim So-to-Speak…?)
 
Who are Jones, Beam and Watt…?
Aren’t they Jimmy the Clique…?
Who’s the Godfather (James Brown)
but Jimmy the Shrie-e-e-eek…?
 
Isn’t James Beard the chef
Jimmy Bubble and Squeak…?
(When he’s sautéing onions,
he’s Jimmy the Leek.)
 
Isn’t James Earl Ray actu’lly
Jimmy the Bleak…?
Shouldn’t teamster head Hoffa
be Jim Up-the-Creek…?
 
Isn’t James the Fat (Mor Stewart)
Jim Chubby Cheek…?
Harvard’s James D. G. Wood…?
Who but Jimmy Critique…?
 
Jimmy Carl Black…? None but
Jimmy the Freak.
And James MacNeill Whistler’s
just Jimmy Technique!
 
John Lennon’s real name…?
Jimmy Eight-Days-a-Week.
(And somewhere there I stand:
Jim taking a leak.)
 
In Melbourne, ’07, there’s
Jimmy the Streak.
Isn’t fashion’s James Galanos
Jimmy Boutique,,,?
 
(Jamie Harris the glass artist’s
Jimmy Lalique,
and each blackbird you see
might be Jimmy Cacique.
 
Note: “Jimmy Marlu’s
not Jim Martinique,
but I think Lizha James
might be Jim Mozambique.”
 
Jesse James assumes names:
ain’t one Jimmy the Sneak…?
And the West’s Edwin James:
ain’t he Jim o’ Pike’s Peak…?
 
Flautist James Galway passes
as Jimmy the Squeak.
Author P. D. James has to be
Jim Hide-'n'-Seek.
 
(Or perhaps P.D.’s actu’lly
Jimmy Mystique.
Jimmy Shergill of Bollywood’s
Jimmy the Sikh.)
 
Isn’t James Earl Jones
famous as Jim Vaderspeak…?
Surely Javans are fond of their
Jimmy Batik!
 
And there’s, somewhere, an
Arab called Jimmy the Sheik.
(None are easy to find.
Still, to find you must seek.)
 
Isn’t Baldwin, occasion’lly,
Jim Fit-o'-Pique…?
James Kisiki of films:
Jimmy Diabolique…?
 
Dennis James, bodybuilder:
not Jimmy Physique…?
(Ain’t Ezekiel aka
Jimmy the Zeke…?)
 
Where’s the card-playing James
known as Jimmy Bezique…?
One more James whose geek name
rhymes with ’Jimmy the Greek.’