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26 Stupid Things (Albeit Using 140 or Fewer Characters Per Tweet) Characters Have Tweeted Moments After Their Deaths: an ABC

Aamon...? Grim! 

(Who'd dance with him...?)      

But, as I'm here, 

eBay my bier! 

Curse the dark 'n' 

Philip Larkin! 

Di- (I fear I 

see) -es irae.

Enough's enough! 

(Putsch came to 'shuff.'*)
     * As in the Bard's “shuffle off this 

     mortal coil,” not "Shuffle Off to Buffalo." 

Feelin' very 

“Alighieri.”

God's call'd Bel. 

She's black as well. 

He kindly stopp’d* -- 

'cuz out I'd opt.
     * Cf. Ms. Dickinson’s #479. 

I died. Mom lied. 

Ironicide! 

Jus' like they tol' ya: 

no magnolia.

Kiss good-bye yer 

ass, you liar!

Less is more...? 

A metaphor.

Memento mori. 

(Now who's sorry...?)

No sound...? No sight...? 

No shit! "Good" night*...?
      * As in D. Thomas’s “Do not go gentle…”

Off blocks, my chips...? 

Apocalypse!

Pride had shit 

to do with it.

Quite warm for May...? 

The hell, you say. 

Ripley said... 

(But Ripley's dead.) 

Suspend the search! 

Arrivederch!

To be I'd not. 

So: off the pot.*
     * As in “shit or get off…”

"Up, up and a-"...? 

Propaganda. 

Very well: 

so this is hell. 

What the fuck! 

Of all the luck. 

X marks the spot. 

(By god, it's hot.) 

Yes or no...? 

Is that stuff snow...? 

Zeus...? Hello. 

(But I must go.) 

Whoever's Up I'm Up For

Who antes-up post dealing cards, sings backup for the Stones, 
bats cleanup down at Camden Yards and digs up ancient bones? 

Who loves his Lear 'n' Lewis* -- nearly eats 'em up? (Guess who?) 
Whose queries lead with follow-ups when interviewing you? 
     * Edward 'n' Carroll 

Who'd rather fool with fuckups than with grownups, as a rule? 
Who's, sadly, prone to hiccups and's call'd "Hikkieup" at school? 

Whose teachers scold, "Don't interrup'! Stop jumpin' up! Sit down!"
Whose fav'rite lay's "La Marseillaise" -- not "Knees Up, Mother Brown"? 

Who lines up at the Hippodrome? Who mops up at the mall? 
Who neatens up his room at home, then owns up to it all? 

Whose old kit bag he'd pack up long before he'd risk a "quackup”?
And, when traffic tickets rack up, who'd with Captain Jacquie shack up? 

[If this goes on, I must throw up: this warning's on the up-'n'-up.
And guess who's left to vacuum up? Who's lent -- for rent -- his wickiup?] 

Who, when he'd give a gal some bling, would never gift a Xuping* ring? 
Who yacks it up? And, fin'lly, who zips up his fly outside the loo? 
     * Xuping is a Chinese manufacturer of cheap imitation jewelry.