Orange Julius Orange Jesus
1. Born in a fresh fruit juice stand, 1. Born in a hospital nursery,
Los Angeles, CA, 1926. Queens, NY, 1946.
2. Partly named for roamin' Jewish 2. Partly named for treasonous
cigar-store owner from Butte, MT. Jew done in by Roman brutes.
3. In later years, often pair'd with 3. For years, always seen
chocolate pastries from Dunkin.' dunkin' Big Macs in diet Cokes.
4. Uses base of vanilla mixed with 4. Abuses male bachelor base
batches of egg whites. advocating white supremacy.
5. Contains no alcohol. 5. Disdains alcoholic brother.
6. From original stand, distributes 6. Favors bleach injection for
medicinal tonics and Bible tracts. COVID; doesn't own a Bible.
7. In 1967, sold off to International 7. For 67 years uses layers of
House of Pancakes. carrot-hued pancake makeup.
8. Claims in adverts, "I'm not 8. Tells perverts, "I am your
just your vitamin C solution." justice; I am your retribution."
9. On top is piled a frothy shock 9. On his toupe he heaps a
of golden spindrift. pile of shocking gold spindrift.
10. His century of persistence ends 10. His uncensored existence
up a great example of adhocracy. ushers in end of democracy.
