Q:________________________________________________________?
A: Ask again anon, Aristotle: all
answers, as always, are awry and askew.
Q:______________________________________________________________?
A: Before blatantly beginning
bothersome badgering, Boethius, better bow briefly.
Q:
__________________________________________________________?
A: Candidly, conditions continue
cloudy. Copernicus can’t currently comment.
Q:___________________________________________________________________________?
A: Dubiosity’s definitely done,
dispelled! (Does Dr. Descartes doubt? Dammit, Doc! Don't! Dig...?!)
Q:
___________________________________________________________?
A: Enfin, Einstein, energy’s erratic.
Every easy explanation ends enigmatically.
Q:
____________________________________________________________________?
A: ‘Fraid frequency’s failing,
Fridugisus. Follow-up forthwith -- Friday fortnight, f‘rinstance.
Q: ________________________________________________________?
A: Generally, Galileo, generating
gross grilling gets guys' gonads gainsaid.
Q:_____________________________________________________________________________?
A: Holy ho-hum, Herr Heidegger -- haven't honestly
heard. (However, heckling hardly helps, huh…?)
Q:
_____________________________________________________?
A: Input’s inferior, Isidore. Its
interpretation is, I imagine, incomplete.
Q: _________________________________?
A: Jabberwocky’s just jargon, Junger…jamais!
Q:
____________________________ ?
A: Kindly, Kierkegaard, kill
kinky koans.
Q:
______________________________________?
A: Ludicrous, Leibniz! Let’s
(like) liaise later, laddie.
Q:______________________________________________________________?
A: Merlin...? Maybe Monday.
Meantime, Mr. Moue, mark my mouth: “Moo-oo-oot!”
Q:____________________________________________________________________________?
A: Nope. Not now, Nostradamus.
Nearer noon…? Nyet! Next November…? Nein! Numquam! (Never!)
Q:
___________________________________?
A: Oracles…? Obscure, Origen.
Omens…? Outre.
Q: ________________________________________?
A: Please, Plato: pray put philosophical
posers politely.
Q:
____________________________________________________?
A: Quiet, Quine! Quit querying!
Quash queer questions qua quarrels.
Q: _________________________________________?
A: Request roundly rejected,
Rousseau. (Right! Really!)
Q:
______________________________________?
A: Sorry, Socrates. Should’a said
somethin’ sooner.
Q: ____________________________________________?
A: ‘Tis truly tough to tell,
Teilhard. Try this time tomorrow.
Q:
___________________________?
A: Unanswerable, Unamuno…unless…
Q:
__________________________?
A: View’s vague, Vico…very! Va-t’en!
Q: ________________________________?
A: Well would we wonder why,
Wittgenstein.
Q:
__________________________?
A: Xenophon…? Xeno-…XII...XI...X...
Q:
_______________________________________________________?
A: Yesterday's yammering, Yockey,
yields you your yearned-for “Yessir!s”
Q:
___________________________________?
A: Zeno…? Zeno?!
Zzzzzz…zzzz…zz…z...zz...z...
Uly Poe pens dogg'rel verse. "'Tis fun," hums Uly, "I disburse." The gamut runs from bad to worse. The matter treated...? Quite diverse -- most, postcards from his universe, replies to grudges he must nurse. My summary...? Let me be terse: a blessing largely. (Not a curse.)
Thursday, August 8, 2019
Sonnets from the Porch (For Geese)
I. From “Oh, Hell, Dolly!”
The quality of mercy is not strain’d:
your doll's left knee must surely, Miss, be drain’d,
lest Dolly live to joint discomfort chain’d.
Pooh’s, too…? Can't we just get along, my dears…?
"Not Dr. J.,* Marsell (sic): Mr. Hyde!"
whose gams they’ll give a gurney. (Troubl'n' strife!)
detour, and -- dammit! – ditch this dweeb, okay…?
whose pleth'ra plumps both pockets of my pita.
(Good Lord! Such gunk grows grues'mer by the hour.
then 'ped-', then ‘bread,' then ‘thread,' 'then wed'... (I’m curs’d!)
Hull hath no heat; the Heath, however, hath."
Fee, fie! My fix…? Unfound. Fuck! What a bind!
Upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered,
my son -- damn kid! – right here my pile he squander’d.
(Though blitz'd by boys before, till now, not Donder'd.)
Though much I've travell’d in the realms of gold,
as such, I have not shimmird elms this old.
(Dutch Elm Disease...? I wish I'd not been told.)
Gather rosebuds while ye may, Old Timer!
Her wrath, thou knows, is vile. Ye'd play the rhymer
but dis the Muse: indeed, ye'd nickl' ‘n' dime 'er.
to've skipp’d the black ‘n’ tans: pour Black & White!
(We'd hoped to hear much more from you -- you kraut, you.)
whilst foolin' with his foam-fill’d fountain pen.
Cures common colds, catarrhs...she'll rub your ████ chest!
...show'r God's felicidad 'pon Señor Peeg.*
Is this a dagger which I see before me…?
I'll "kiss" each hag or witch, banshee or whore -- me,
vile Stride* -- with such a shiv! Who'd dare ignore me…?
I would -- with gas I'd burn the lot. (The louse!) Such scorch!
Yo’ nylons...? To’n! Yo’ 'ho' expression's pain’d!
(Whose pad's in Silver Spring can well relate.)
snuff boxes, they left my island nation.
whilst Madame Muffin just can't get enough.
The quality of mercy is not strain’d:
your doll's left knee must surely, Miss, be drain’d,
lest Dolly live to joint discomfort chain’d.
II. From “Christopher Rodney King Saying
His Prayers”
Friends, Romans,
countrymen: lend me your ears!
I'm loath to shun thee,
then tend Eeyore's tears: Pooh’s, too…? Can't we just get along, my dears…?
III. From “Bill (Not Tell) Mispells
'Marcel’”
Buff'lo Bill's
defunct, who used to ride...
"Enough!" goes Will; he thrusts his Proust
aside. "Not Dr. J.,* Marsell (sic): Mr. Hyde!"
* Refers to Henry Jekyll not the NBA’s Julius
Erving
IV. From “The Accident-Prone Tourist”
Midway on the
journey of our life...
skid -- a wrong right
turn – and shove your wife, whose gams they’ll give a gurney. (Troubl'n' strife!)
V. From “Missin’ ‘im A’ready”
Now I lay me down to
sleep: I pray,
somehow, some way around this
creep I may detour, and -- dammit! – ditch this dweeb, okay…?
VI. From “Recess or Recession…?”
Nel mezzo del cammin
di nostra vita.
Huge debts…? Oh, well: I'm
into Kraft Velveeta, whose pleth'ra plumps both pockets of my pita.
VII. From “Autumn Hazing”
The force that
through the green fuse drives the flower,
of course, with blue-green
genes, arrives quite sour. (Good Lord! Such gunk grows grues'mer by the hour.
VIII. From “‘I's Dead!’ Zone”
It is
the bes’ of times; it is the worst...
my biz be: mess with rhymes.It’s dis 'head' first -- then 'ped-', then ‘bread,' then ‘thread,' 'then wed'... (I’m curs’d!)
IX. From “November Song”
Sing, goddess, of
Achilles' ru'nous wrath.
"Cape Cod has, Love, grown chilly:
do the math! Hull hath no heat; the Heath, however, hath."
X. From “Gee! O. D., Dammit!”
Because I could
not stop for Death, he kind-
ly does. Why should I
drop the meth I find…? Fee, fie! My fix…? Unfound. Fuck! What a bind!
XI. From “The Raven & the ProdiGuy”
Upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered,
my son -- damn kid! – right here my pile he squander’d.
(Though blitz'd by boys before, till now, not Donder'd.)
XII. From "Leave 'E(l)m
Alone!"
Though much I've travell’d in the realms of gold,
as such, I have not shimmird elms this old.
(Dutch Elm Disease...? I wish I'd not been told.)
XIII. From “Semi-Sonnets For
Seniors, Verse 90”
Gather rosebuds while ye may, Old Timer!
Her wrath, thou knows, is vile. Ye'd play the rhymer
but dis the Muse: indeed, ye'd nickl' ‘n' dime 'er.
XIV. From “Same Again!”
Do not go gentle
into that good night...?
You've got to. An',
when gin's this flat, you're rightto've skipp’d the black ‘n’ tans: pour Black & White!
XV. From “Hughie The Hun &
The Menagerie”
If you can keep your
head when all about you
keep toucans, sheep, rye bread, a
mawl...then shout, Hugh...! (We'd hoped to hear much more from you -- you kraut, you.)
XVI. From “A Magus Among Us”
I must go down
to lonely seas again,
nor trust no clown
who'll only sneeze (cayenne!) whilst foolin' with his foam-fill’d fountain pen.
XVII. From “The Ballade Of Long
Lizzie”*
To be or not to be:
that be the quest...
Who's she…? Our hottest B-girl
-- Liz: the best...! Cures common colds, catarrhs...she'll rub your ████ chest!
* One of Jack the Rippers canonical five victims. For more
on Liz, cf. "One for the Ripper"
below.
XVIII. From “Peegiad, Canto
LIX”
Onward half a
league, on half a league... Our
swan's (don't laugh)
intrigue; our calf's fatigue......show'r God's felicidad 'pon Señor Peeg.*
* Senor
Beeg Peeg, that is, porcine CEO of Hogmalion.com
XIX. From “Wing One For The
Ripper”
Is this a dagger which I see before me…?
I'll "kiss" each hag or witch, banshee or whore -- me,
vile Stride* -- with such a shiv! Who'd dare ignore me…?
*
Elizabeth, one of Jack the Ripper's canonical five victims.
If it's true she received her nickname "Long Liz" due to her
height, then it's likely the appellation 'wee' should be heard
as ironic. For more on Elizabeth, cf. "The Ballad of Long
Lizzie" above.
If it's true she received her nickname "Long Liz" due to her
height, then it's likely the appellation 'wee' should be heard
as ironic. For more on Elizabeth, cf. "The Ballad of Long
Lizzie" above.
XX. From “Burn, Bubbeh, Burn!”
Whose woods these
are I think I know. Her house (side porch),
her goods, her car (a pink Toyota)
dowse, then torch I would -- with gas I'd burn the lot. (The louse!) Such scorch!
XXI. From “Scarlett's Pimp…? Or
Nell's…?”
The quality of mercy
is not strain’d...
So, Doll: Let's see yer purse. Mein
Gott! 'Tis stain’d... Yo’ nylons...? To’n! Yo’ 'ho' expression's pain’d!
XXII. From “Gnutopia”
In Xanadu did Kubla
Khan a state
of panda, cuckoo, gnu and
swan create. (Whose pad's in Silver Spring can well relate.)
XXIII. From “Quiet, Basquiat!”
I saw the best minds
of my generation
guffaw as, bless’d with
gloves (size ten) and Haitian snuff boxes, they left my island nation.
XXIV. From “Clothes Whores”
O do you know the
muffin man…? In muf-
ti new -- behold! -- Sir
Muffin pans such stuff -- whilst Madame Muffin just can't get enough.
XXV. From "The Last Letter"
Let's go then, you and I, when
evening's spread.
An O, then U 'n' I, then E. A...? Dead!
When butch'ring vowels, they target first the head.
(a work in progress)
Gonna take a sentimental journey...
Be aware. Stay soft and round. Let
go...
Nothing could be finer than to
be...
Let's go then, you and I, when
evening's spread...
Tommy, Tom the piper's son; he
stole...
Amazing grace, how sweet the
sound, that saved...
Mary, Mary, quite contrary; how...
Oh beautiful for spacious skies,
for am-...
Shall I compare thee to a summer's
day...?
On either side the river lie long
fields...
Of man's first disobed'ence, and
the fruit...
I will arise and go to
Innisfree...
Drink to me, but only with thine
eyes...
The curfew tolls the knell of
parting day...
Stop all the clocks, cut off the
telephone...
Had we but world enough, and time,
coy la-...
All hail to thee, blithe spirit!
Bird thou weren't...
I wandered lonely as a cloud
that floats...
Tyger! Tyger! Tyger burning
bright...
The boy stood on the burning deck;
his feet...
The White Stuff...?
White Album...? Beatles’ escapade.
White belt...? Karate, freshman grade.
White Castle...? Burgers bought by bag.
White dwarf...? Small star whose heat will flag.
White elephant...? Beware of mauling.
White Fang...? Is that Jack's Wild a-calling…?
White gold...? Contains trace manganese.
White House...? Kid Drumpf now keeps the keys.
White ink...? Signs onion skin…? Bizarre!
White joke...? “Three darkies hit a bar…”
White knight...? His song’s called “Ways and Means.”
White lies...? When KKK convenes.
White Man’s...? That Burden’s best laid down.
White noise...? (Comes, too, in pink and brown).
Wite-Out...? ‘Wite’ holds one letter less.
White pages...? List they your address…?
White Queen...? In Carroll and in chess.
White Rhino...? Ganja, more or less.
Black Sox...? ’19, Comiskey Park.
White tiger...? Threaten’d. (Think ‘white shark.’)
White unicorn...? A mythic beast.
White Velvet (cake)...? Take two pans, greased…
Whitewater...? Nearly sunk Slick Will’…
White xenia...? A coral frill.
White yam...? It’s class'd D. rotundata.
White Zinfandel…? Rosé…? Nope! Not a…
White belt...? Karate, freshman grade.
White Castle...? Burgers bought by bag.
White dwarf...? Small star whose heat will flag.
White elephant...? Beware of mauling.
White Fang...? Is that Jack's Wild a-calling…?
White gold...? Contains trace manganese.
White House...? Kid Drumpf now keeps the keys.
White ink...? Signs onion skin…? Bizarre!
White joke...? “Three darkies hit a bar…”
White knight...? His song’s called “Ways and Means.”
White lies...? When KKK convenes.
White Man’s...? That Burden’s best laid down.
White noise...? (Comes, too, in pink and brown).
Wite-Out...? ‘Wite’ holds one letter less.
White pages...? List they your address…?
White Queen...? In Carroll and in chess.
White Rhino...? Ganja, more or less.
Black Sox...? ’19, Comiskey Park.
White tiger...? Threaten’d. (Think ‘white shark.’)
White unicorn...? A mythic beast.
White Velvet (cake)...? Take two pans, greased…
Whitewater...? Nearly sunk Slick Will’…
White xenia...? A coral frill.
White yam...? It’s class'd D. rotundata.
White Zinfandel…? Rosé…? Nope! Not a…
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