"Lincoln and Mencken and God, untight..." Eugene Field Revisited

Lincoln* and Mencken** and God,*** untight, 
have book'd passage 'board Titanic II.
Honest Abe chides The Diety: "Bollocks 'sobreeity'! 
Let's all get chock-a-block, nu...?"
     * Neither Elmo the actor nor Tribich the con, but 
Abraham the POTUS.
     ** Neither August, Sr., the tobacconist nor August, Jr., 
the engineer but H.L., the journalist.
     *** Neither Allah the Muslim nor Krishna the Hindu 
but Yahweh the Jew.  

The Jehovah's all for it: "Teetot'lers deplore it, 
no doubt, though I shout, 'Have you tried it?
Let me slip you this tip. Cup to lip! Take a nip! 
'Less I'm wrong, you'll no longer deride it.'"

Now half in his cups, H.L.M. interrupts: 
"Listen, Jew! When you're through, read my two lips: 
Since we're all call'd 'ombibulous'* (which is no fib), you'll as-
sent to my bent for mint julips."**
     * One who'll drink anything alcoholic. Mencken lists 
himself in that category.
     ** Mencken voices a preference for julips over beer.

Answers God through His squint, "Though not partial to mint, 
as My Bible plugs hyssop and wormwood,
still a julip or two would go down a treat. Do 
you agree...? Si! You both, I affirm, would."


(More to come: a work in progress.)

"My dream? I tune to breaking news..." Been Shot: An Oneirology

My dream? I tune to breaking news: 
"The President's Been Shot!"
My nightmare? Same old same old. Damn! 
The President's still NOT...