Live By The Sophism...

"We do more testing than anyone
and when you do more testing
you get a lot more cases."

"We do more rallies than anyone
and when you do more rallies
you rile a lot more bases."

"We do more voting than anyone
and when you do more voting
you win a lot more races."

"We do more counting than anyone
and when you do more counting
you face more cooda graces."

Runcibl'd Spooner: Gotta Dance!

Sip it neat or sip it chill'd;
sure'n' it's bound to get you tight:
Bailey's Irish Cream. 
     Paddy's fish which Sandy shill'd 

down at social dance last night:
ceilidh's Irish bream.

     Moral:

You say 'bodhran' and I say 'potatoes.'

One Haikuchen by Basho, Jr. ("The Linguist") & Two Runcibl'd Spooners by Uly Poe

A...E...I...O...U;
sometimes Y and sometimes not:
Vowels! (No consonants.)

Plath's roman. ('Tain't Mother Goose.)
The Bell Jar
     Counter Plath selects for mousse.
Gel bar
     Moral:
Get sticky or get sicky!

Lepidoptera and kin:
caterpillar.
     Who a comic's chat does in:
patter killer.
     Moral:
This is gold, Jerry. Gold!