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Wednesday, October 9, 2019

Q&A...&A

Might A be Anna's arabesque
augmenting half Alf's partners desk...?
Nope, A be Alfie's amphigory 
airbrush'd in Ann's lavatory.
(Also -- view'd through Pink's pink prism -- 
A's an Attic witticism.)

Might B be Baby's badinage 
begun while boxing Bubb's corsage...?
Nope, B be Bubba's balderdash 
begat while brushing Babe's mustache...
unless B's baked in Boursin cheese: 
in that case, B’s a bald betise.

Might C be Caesar's* calembours 
contrived behind closed cellar doors...?
Nope, C be Coca's** coups de plume 
concocted in Sid's coke-fill'd room,
except when cow'ring in Sid's ditch: 
in that case, C's a carrawitch.

     * Sid Caesar   ** Imogene Coca

Might D be Dodgson's* dunciad 
discover'd in some deacon's pad...?
Nope, D be D'Indy's doubl'-entente 
deliver'd dans Drood's Restaurant,
unless D's deem'd cajolery: 
in that case D's (duh!) drollery.

     * Charles Lutwidge Dodgson

Might E be Edward's escapades 
engaged in with three upstairs maids...?
Nope, E be Eddie's equivokes, 
whose end line rhymes, "Take heart, Joe Doakes!"
Unless at eight pence to the pound 
E's priced. Then, E's an empty sound.

If F's for Fifi's foolishness 
fomented from Flo's olive press,
F's not, for fun, her flummeries 
(film footage offers summaries),
unless said film be conterfeit: 
in that case, F's a flash o' wit.

Might G be "Godot"'s gobbl'ygook 
grok'd graven in Gott's grading book...?
Nope, G be Garbo's "gallicisms" -- 
Greta's anti-Semitisms...(?)
Garnering gefiltefish, 
this G's Ed Gorey's gibberish.

Might H be Hugh's hyperbole 
hatched mute -- i.e., nonverbally..?
Oh, no, H be Hef's hebetude -- 
what attitude! -- his hips half nude,
unless Hef's Hoovers halt their raids. 
Then, H be Hefner's harl'quinades.

Might I be Idi's "idi-"'-cies 
inflicted on Ike's tse-tse’s knees...?
Nope, I be Ireland's Irish bulls -- 
in Innishfree, they’ve firkinfuls;
still, inside Iceland's bourgeoisie, 
there I's an imbecility.

Might J be Jean-Jacques' jabberwockies 
jotted down while sipping sakis...?
Nope, J's Joseph's jeu d'esprit -- 
jejune, like J. J.'s jamboree,
unless Joe's jokes be quid pro quo
Then, J's jests...? Just junk jeu de mots.

Might K be Keith's kid's kakapoo 
as squawk'd (hawk'd...?) through Ken's bass kazoo...? 
Nope, K be "Krazee Kinkajou," 
that kids'-show host (KQFU). 
And what if K. K. -- kidnapp'd -- dies...? 
Then, K be Krazee's kaddish, guys.

Might L be Lisle's light levity 
co-linking length with brevity...? 
Nope, L be Lulu's lunacy 
(illegal in Altoona, si...?)...
unless that L will prove legit: 
in that case, L's your lack o' wit.

M maybe mimics merriments 
made up by Mali's malcontents...? 
Mais non, M's Mommie's mots pour rire 
(though neither's music to mine ear), 
unless Mom's 'nom de mime' be "Mick." 
In that case, M's Ma's monkey trick.

Might N be Norns' nugacity 
nuancing one Butch Cassidy...? 
Nope, N's a nugae canorae 
announced when 'noshing rhubarb pie, 
though not when watching "Frasier," see...? 
Then, N is Niles' niaiserie.

Ought O be for our oddities 
occurring in these ABCs...? 
Nope, O's for one obscurum per 
obscurius (one can but stare). 
(Throughout Ontario today, 
Os be for our oui dires, eh...?

Might P be peoples' poppy-cock 
(pronounced as "ph'ah'q" in Languedoc)...? 
Nope, P be Popi's persiflage 
perform'd while "perping" Pip's "massage," 
unless Pop's prattle's rife with surds. 
Then, P's a pun -- a play on words.

Might Q be Queequeg's quid pro quo...? 
(I'd quite concur if Q said, "No.") 
"No, Q be quite the quiddity," 
quoth you, with queer acidity...
unless said quipper fires point-blank. 
Then, Q's Quixote's quip 'n' crank."

Are Rs for Ryder's raillery 
recounted 'round Red's Whalery...? 
Nope, R's for Ringo's repartee. 
His "co-Starr" (retrogressively) 
is Belle: Rick's arse feels "rather droll." 
(Perhaps his R's for rigmarole.)

Is (was...?) Ms Suze's silliness 
subscribed to sporting fancy dress...? 
Nope, S is Stu's stultiloquence 
suggested o'er Soc's stockade fence...
'cept Sunday week: 'Tis Hallowmas!
Then, S shows Salman's sounding brass.

Might T be Trigve's thing'majig 
translated whilst Trot trims Trig's wig...? 
Not! T be Trot's tomfoolery. 
(Trot tripp'd whilst thieving jewelry.) 
And if the true thief's less than nimble,
this T's, then, a tinkling cymbal.

Might U be your ultravagance 
unleashed while mugging nonchalance...? 
No, U be unintelligence 
intoned while burning frankincense...
unless you misquote Watson-Crick: 
then, U's an urban ledjend (sic).

Might V be Vernon's verbal quirks...? 
(He visits 'em on var'ous jerks.) 
Vay, no: V's vox et praet'rae ni'l
voiced softly, 'neath Vin's windowsill. 
We've felt, however, V's vibrations.
So-o-o-o...V be vermiculations.

Why's W a waggishness 
express'd whilst weeding watercress 
when W's more witticism...?
(Mum's the word: no criticism!)
Yet...when whale meat warms Wim's dim sum,
W'd be want o' wisdom.

Might X be texts --"Xanthippe's Tirades,"
ex. grat. -- penn'd by Marxist mermaids...?
Nope, X be xylarity 
(though, spelt with 'x,' a rarity)...
unless said X relaxes us: 
then, X be my xyphopagus.

Might Y be all that yettering 
you've vetted at Sloan-Kettering...? 
Yes...No! Y be your yap 'n' yammer
yell'd while editing my grammar.
Yet, if you don't give a darn, 
in that case, Y's some navvy's yarn.

Might Z be zazen zanyism
zoned to hone post-modernism...?
No way! Z's Zeke's slow-paced zizz 
(though paradox Zeke's zephyr is). 
If those zeds bring semantic fits, 
then (zounds!)...this Z's for Zasu Pitts!

Qs&NoAs

Flamingos...? Skinks...? Koala bears...?
Full houses...? Royal flushes...? Pairs...?
Secur'd investments...? Stocks 'n' shares...?
Who...?s...? When...?s...? Wha-a-azzup…?s...? How...?s...? Why...?s...? Where...?s...?

Mary Shelleys...? Dumas peres...?
Stiltons…? Emmentals…? Gruyeres...?
What the...?s...? So what!s...? C'est la guerres...?
When...?s...? How...?s...? Wha-a-azzup...?s...? Who...?s...? Why...?s...? Where...?s...?

Foxes...? Fun Furs...? Human hairs...?
Pantries...? Attics...? Cellar stairs...?
Cancers...? Ear aches...? Mal de meres...?
How...?s...? Who...?s...? Wha-a-azzup..?s...? Why...?s...? When...?s...? Where...?s...?

Stems...? Corsages...? Boutonnieres...?
Cryptic crosswords...? Truth or Dares...?
Uncirculateds…? Mint states...? Rares…?
When...?s...? How...?s...? Wha-a-azzup…?s...? Who...?s...? what...?s...? Where...?s...?


Christmas Day: A Mare Egg...

     "A Mare Egg, Her Wrist, "Miss Two 'U'"