In Anything Ever Done? A Leonardo Da Vinci Counting Rhyme

One, two; one two. What can one do? Have you no clue?
Three, four; three, four. So: what’s it for? Can less be more?
Five, six; five, six. Who plays these tricks? Who takes the licks?
Sev’n, eight; sev’n, eight. Procrastinate? How long’s the wait?
Eight, sev’n; eight, sev’n. Why’s vita brev’? Why wait must heaven?
Six, five; six, five. Call this alive? When’s ‘it’ arrive?
Four, three; four, three. What’s with “To be…?” Is it just me?
Two, one; two, one.  Who’s having fun? What’s getting done?
Two, four; six, eight; sev’n, five; three, one. You call this fun?
Is aught e’er done? Is aught e’er done? Is aught e’er done?

In Your Dreams: Two Points of View

In your dreams,
in your dreams
you scale the heights,
recite the memes
and fight good fights.
You quell their schemes,
secure our rights
nor know not 'seems’...
nor know not ‘might’s.

But, come the lights,
d'you make the team,
absorb the slights,
repair each seam?
D'you shun the shites?
You write a ream.
You talk, alright.
So: what’s it deem?
D'you slay the blighters?

In your dreams!

Imaginary Girls

Imagine girls,
maids made-up – Pearls,
Malvinas, Merles
and Mallorys --
who come, then quick-
ly go, through Mich-
elangelo-
hung galleries.

Nor nun nor crone,

each one has grown 
(each bun alone: 
big calories) 
so flush that they’ve,
through blushes, waiv’d
all wages – tips 
and salaries.

Imaginary Obits

After licking his sickle cell illness
(and though leaving behind him a wife),
this father of twins, for his several sins,
was determin'd to take his own life.

An area resident – lifelong –
and employ’d as a practical nurse,
this mother of two once appear'd in Who’s Who.
(A cortege will form back of the hearse.)

Dodeclarative Re Death & Drumpf

(The dodeclarative is a new poetic form 
of 12-syllable stanzas exhibiting 
a unique shape.)

Drumpf             gon-                na

die                      but                  most

pro-                  ba-                  bly

not                   to-                   day.

We                   will                  need

more                than                crush’d

but-                  ter-                  flies*

to                     halt                 Drumpf.

Drumpf’s         been               shot?

Oh-                  my-                 god!

R.                    I.                     I.!**

Don-               ald                  Drumpf! 

    * A reference to Bradbury’s “The Sound of Thunder”
    ** :Requiescat in Infernum!"

For ABC

A's for a fistful of dolors.* B is for Bette** or for worse.
C is "...for cryin' out loud, Señor!” D’s for a Ford four-door'd hearse."***

     * Seven's the traditional number.
     ** The Divine Ms. Midler 
     *** From zero to sixty in 7.2 stanzas

E is forensic pathology. F's four fifths gin, four fifths Jello.*
G is forgettin' the cadmium yellow. For Herr J's** a jolly good fellow!

     * Eight fifths? Pluperfect! 
     ** Not to be confused with artist Herge, Tintin's creator. 

I? "For it's one...two...it's three strikes..." (Your route?*) J is for Jonson,** the playwright.
K is forklifting each fork from the road. L is for love of the (day)light.

     * Rt. 1, the Mother Road.
     ** Ben, a Renaissance drama king.

M is for me, my RC and my gal.* N is for none of th'above.
O is for once – just this once -- in my life. P's "For Pete's sake, Guv, don't shove!"**

     * I.e., my four-quart growler of Rodenbach (Grand) Cru. 
     ** There's always plenty to go 'round.

Q is for Queen. (And for Country!)* R is for rent, sale or lease.
S is "For such is the King Dome** of heaven." T's for the secret police.**

     * I.e., for Freddie Mercury and Joe McDonald
     * Or, through October 16, 2011, the True F. Luck Gallery.
     ** One hopes they’ll not need to become involved.

U is "For unto us children are born..." V is for very low cost.
W?* "For Whom the Bell Tolls." (‘Tis for thee.) X is for Xenofrost, gloss’d.**

     * 'W' is pronounced in two syllables, as 'Dub-ya' -- remember?
     ** Some mss show 'toss'd' here; others. 'lost.' A distinction without a difference? Perhaps.

Y is for your eyes, a loan. Z is Forza del Destino.
& is for ampersands, naturellement…and my final denoumentarino.

Hommage a Wilbon

W...il...bon...W...il...bon!

"What fills the bill? Eubonics will," professes Casaubon.*
"Who spills a mil? Hugh Bonneville," assesses Ele'nor B(r)on.**
"What kills with chill? Bubonics will," confesses Bon'...James Bon.' ***
"Whose pills be bonbons frilled with dill?" finesses Dot's "Big B(l)on.'"****

     * Cf 'Middlemarch.'  

     ** Cf 'Bedazzled.' (Of course Ms. Bron refers here not to the 
British actor but to the fiscally irresponsible character he portrays 
in the PBS soap "Downton Abbey." 

     *** Cf '007.'  

     **** Cf 'Dorothy Parker.' As to whose identity is being called for 
specifically in Ms. Parker's creation's question, is it not possible that 
it's a female colleague of The New Yorker columnist, one named Jill...? 

Hey, Mandrill! or The Relentless Baboon

Here be mandrills for all seasons, 
not one single also-randrill.
Here's Ayn Randrill -- &rill*
not gavottes but allemand'rills.
"Bar, Bar, Bar...Bar, Bar'bra Anndrill!"
bays a Barbary Streisandrill.
     * Pronounced 'am-per-san-drill.'

B. Obama's "Yes We Candrill."
Honolulu's Charlie Chandrill.
Ariel and Calibandrill.
"Hopa!" carps Carmen Mirandrill.
Harry Caray's play-by-play 
cues H. Cosell (the colormandrill).

Where's this heading? Disneylandrill!
Who'll you hear? Duran Durandrill,
Broadway legend E. Mermandrill!
(Your announcer? Ed McMa'andrill.)

All the rage? The age medieval 
and its heavy "Everymandrill."
(Who'll direct? Elia Kazan will.)

Christ says, "Love thy fellowmandrill."
"Friends, Romandrills...countrymendrill," 
barks Marc Antony. (Just thendrill,
"Gr-r-r-r!" growls Be'wulf's gorgon, Grendrill.)

Harry S (a true Trumandrill):
"Buck stop here!" (He's his own mandrill.)
It's a mandrill's world? "No, ma'am," 
rants Helen Reddy "I'm (Wo)mandrill!"

Joke: "A rabbi, priest, and mandrill 
walk into a bar and grilldrill..."
Johnny Cash (Mandrill in Black):
John loves Country and the Classics. 
His voice? Deep and never shrilldrill. 
"Bring Johanndrill S'bastian back!"

Here's King Solomandrill's Mines,
the Ku Klux Klandrill's monkeyshines, 
a leading mandrill's op'ning lines,
The Laughing Mandrill’s R. van Rijn's.

On deck? Yankee Mickey Mandrill –
Mick's the mandrill of the hour –
and our movies on demandrill 
calls for bandwidth -- mandrillpower!

Seed of change Nelson Mandrilla,
Psycho's queer Normandrill Bates,
King Wm. The First's Normandrill Conquest –
"Tide: it for no mandrill waits."

Where's the Ottomandrill Empire?
"Mandrill overboard!" (Belay that!)
Where's our mandrill in Havana?
On the Road to Mandrillay, what!

Paul Newmandrill's Own Spaghetti Sauce,
French painter Paul Cezannedrill,
filmdom's Romandrill Polanski,
Captain Hook and Peter Pandrill.

Qaboos bin Said Al Sa'd…
you know: the Sultan of Omandrill,
pictured reading his Qur'andrill.
(Later, Don Q's Sancho Panza'll.)

Republicandrill Ray Millandrill.
Mandrill Ray -- he's Dada's chief.
And touch this "Rich Mandrill, Poormandrill,
Beggarmandrill..." bas relief.

Here, too? Judge Sandrill Day O'Connor.
Here be Musial -- "Stan the Mandrill."
Spidermandrill, drummer Shelly Mannedrill, 
stripper Sally Randrill.

Ape Breath In Venice (Thomas Manndrill),
E. Rice Burroughs's Tarzandrill.
Willie Dixon's "Back Door Mandrill" 
belies Nietzsche's Ubermandrill.

Take your Vitamindrill D
(the so-called "Sunshine Vitamindrill"),
sing along with Woodie Guthrie
and his all-womandrill bandrill:

                                                  "...this land's your

                                                   landrill...this land's my

                                                   landrill...from Anthro-

                                                  -po'dia...to the Fresh Kills

                                                   Landfill..."

From X-Mandrill ("You da mandrill!")

through "Yeomendrill of the Guard,"
here be no mandrills arch-conservative:
all, mandrills avant-guard!
From Zed to A, Mort Zuckermandrill
to Walt Cronkite, anchormandrill,
here be mandrills...black-'n'-tandrills…
caravandrills...fancy-Dandrills…
courtesandrills...spic-'n'-spandrills..
turbofandrills -- everymandrills, no holds
barred!

Creator's Choice or the Diety's Druthers: an ABC

  

What's the Almighty’s favorite…

…ad slogan? “Gott milk?”
…Billie Holiday record? “I Gotta Right (to Sing the Blues).”
…classic "wheels"? BuGotti.
…Dickens character? PeGotty.
…esoteric language? Thieves’ argot.
…fungus fruiting structure? ErGott sclerotium.
…Gene Kelly movie line? “Gotta dance!”
…heavyweight boxing little holder? Jersey Joe WalGott.
…imaginary location? McElliGott’s Pool.
…journalist’s interview tactic? The Gottcha question.
…king of rhumba? Xavier CuGott. 
…Lois Lane interpreter? MarGott Kidder
…movie tough guy? Humphrey BoGott.
…new candy brand? NouGott.
…O’Neill drama? A Moon for the MisbeGotten.
…Portuguese “thankyou”? “ObriGotto.”
…quintessential Italian bass clef double reed? FaGotto.
…ripe fruit? ApriGott.
…second-act opening number? The AsGott Gavotte.
…tourist destination? EpGott Center.
…university? Gottingen U.
…Vincent De Paul namesake? Vincent Van Gott.
…weight loss fad? Fat-free yoGott.
…xyloform? The wainsGotting.
...ye’elimite portable form? InGott.
…ziggurat misspelling? ZigG(ur)ott.

Some Foursomes of the Cloth

Four Comics of the Cloth:
Yosemite Sampler 
Little Orphan Angora 
Donald Duck
Satintin

Four Painters of the Cloth: 

Pablo Picasshmere 
Salvador Doily 
Winslow Homespun 
Jean-Michel Basquetweaqve

Four Composers of the Cloth: 
Fredric Chopinstripe 
Maurice Ravelveteen 
Cloth Debussy
Johann Sebastian Bast

Four Pop stars of the Cloth: 
John Linen 
Corduroy Orbison 
Felton John
Velvets Presley

Four Authors of the Cloth: 
Twill Shakespeare 
George Bernard Shawl 
Flannelly O’Connor
Noel Cowhide

Four POTUSes of the Cloth: 
George Washantung 
Abraham Linen
Mohairy Truman
Tick Nixon

Four C/W Legends of the Cloth: 
Loretta Linen 
Johnny Cashmere 
Doily Parton
Burlap Ives

Four Sports Icons of the Cloth: 
Kevin Durantimacassar 
Shagille O’Neal 
Batiki Barber 
Muhammad Aligator

(More "Foursomes" to come: a work in progress)

Three Bathetic Faux Verbal "Exquisite Corpses" in Limerick Form

There’s this guy, do or die, Bernie Sanders.
Pumpkin pie, ham on rye, Gerrymanders.
Merwyn Peake (so to speak).
Wednesday week, hide-‘n’-seek.
Please stand by, eye for'n eye, geese or ganders.

Wrote this man, cheek of tan, Don DeLillo.
Spic ‘n’ Span, Ku Klux Klan, cigarillo.
Come to grief, twelve-mile reef.
Are you “deef”? Where’s the beef?
Or, to pan the Qur’an, “Armadillo!”

Lived this bloke, country folk, Raul Julia.
Pig-'na-poke, Roanoke. (Would I fool ya?)
“Over There,” share ‘n’ share.
Truth or dare, braid the hair.
Take a toke, have a soak, hallelujah!