Even Odder Couples (Unpub)

Ara and Demarco book a 

bedsit B&B:
     "…just digs for 
research and development," dis-

closes Ar ‘n’ Dee.
 
Beauregard and Arabelle, tran-

scend this loveless era,
     and suc-
cumb to Cupid's darts ‘n’ shafts, be-

coming Beau ‘n’ Ara.
 
     Cal-
lista and her Derwood were in-

vitees. (We say 'were' 
     because both
fail’d to show -- or did we fail to 

check our Cal ‘n’ Der…?)
 
Deborah and Aaron, one so-

phisticated pair,
     are known by
other debonaire young things as 

"raw-ther...Deb ‘n’ Aar."
 
Ebenezer flips for Florence. 

Fickle Florence, though,
     runs hot and
cold. Such indecisive lovers! 

Call 'em 'Eb ‘n’ Flo.'
 
Frieda pulls, with Ethan Zane, some 

stunts which leave us queasy.
     They’re so
breezy – “c'est la vie”zy. Oh, so 

free be Frie ‘n’ E.Z.!
 
     Grin-
elda and Barretto keep a 

bird. Repeats this parrot,
     "I'll de-
file thy domicile." (Just grin 'n' 

bear it, Grin ‘n’ Barrett'!)
 
Hamnet, a polygamist, weds 

twice. (Both brides prove nags.
    And, oddly,
both were christen'd 'Agatha.') Meet 

(don't eat!): Ham ‘n’ Ags.
 
Wendell's pledg’d, "I'd bed Iphige-

nia." Ah, but then, 
     Iph vows, "That's
only if ‘n’ when we've said 'I 

do!'...as Iph ‘n’ Wen."
 
Justin and Tymothea were 

decades past their prime.
     The knot they
tied. Then up 'n' died. (The two be-

came one: Just ‘n’ Tyme.)
 
Kahtia weds Pickering, but 

soft...our plot grows thicker.
     'Tain’t no
joke! A baby bloke is born -- a 

little Kaht' ‘n’ Picker.'
 
     To
Lemuel and Adrienne, two 

drys, our toast is made.
     "Charge your
flutes, good friends, with lemonade. All 

fill’d...? To Lem ‘n’ Ade!"
 
Morris and Ramona: how their 

ardors overflow!
     "I love you,
Mo!" "I love you, 'Mo'!" (Love mo' 'n' 

mo' do Mo ‘n’ 'Mo'.)
 
Nehemiah and Tonette their 

calisthenics know:
     "Hey, Neh'! Hey,
To'e! Please do that one call’d 'Head 'n' 

shoulder, knee 'n' toe'!"
 
Booker idolizes Oprah...

sinker, line 'n' hook!
     We trust Ms.
Oprah feels the same. They read just 

like an Ope ‘n’ Book.
 
Phillip and d'Blanca's hope to 

win the sweepstakes sank
     because that
pair, Phil ‘n’ d'Blanc', forgot to -- 

first! -- "fill in de blank!"
 
Qisma and Telemachus: their 

book is selling well.
     Its title...?
"Life Among the Gays: a kiss 'n' 

tell by Qis ‘n’ Tel."
 
     'Tis
Rodney versus Helen: neither 

wishes t'other well. 
     Say Rod and
Helen (as do Hel and Rod): "Your 

ass can rot in hell!"
 
Samuel and Rose, raw fish a-

ficionados, know;
     one serves wa-
sabi with one's salmon roe. "Ban-

zai!" shout Sam ‘n’ Ro.
 
     I question’d
Ahmet Ree and Trigve: "What be 

'2ab cos C'...?"
     "Why, that's just
simple trigonometry," said 

Trig ‘n’ Ahmet Ree!
 
"Upton and his Atamantha," 

notes our latest datum, 
     "both have
chosen to keep dozin.'" Up 'n' 

at 'em, Up' ‘n’ Atam'!
 
Vergil and his Bertha, in dis-

cussing virgin birth,
      have now be-
come conception experts and are 

known as Virg ‘n’ Berth.
 
Watson questions Helen “Wazzup, 

Helen…? What in hell...?”
     Which leads the
people overhearing ‘em to 

call ‘em Wat ‘n’ Hel.
 
Grace’s love for Xavier proves 

such a saving grace.
     You’re all in-
vited to the wedding…compli-

ments of Xav' ‘n’ Grace.
 
Yasser and Ms. Deedee, yokels, 

holler “Yass, indeed!"  
     Or, as their
matching tattoos broadcast to the 

county: “Yas’ ‘n’ Deed.’’”
 
     The-
resa said to Zedediah, 

"I wouldst have 'em bury
     us as
one: "Here lies the ver-r-r-ry seden-

tary Zed' ‘n’ Terri."

Hear the Word (Unpub)

My arroz pone's connected to my...butter’d scone; 
my butter’d scone's connected to my...Cotes du Rhone;

my Cotes-du-Rhone's connected to my...drop zone;

my drop zone's connected to my...Eten phone;

my Eten phone's connected to my...fretful groan;
my fretful groan's connected to my..."grow-your-own!"; 
my "grow-your-own"'s connected to my..."Home Alone";
my "Home Alone"'s connected to my...intel (blown);
my intel’s connected to my...Jonas Cohn;
my Jonas Cohn's connected to my...Khmer-Mon;
my Khmer-Mon's connected to my...loathsome crone;
my loathsome crone's connected to my...men's room throne;
my men's room throne's connected to my...nose cone;
my nose cone's connected to my...oat (wild, sown);
my oat (wild, sown)'s connected to my...posture (prone);
my posture (prone)'s connected to my...Quicken Loan;
my Quicken Loan's connected to my...robot drone;
my robot drone's connected to my..."Saint Joan";
my "Saint Joan"'s connected to my...Torrid Zone;
my Torrid Zone's connected to my...undertone;
my undertone's connected to my...varnish roan;
my varnish roan's connected to my...Wingy Manone;
my Wingy is connected to my...xylophone;
my xylophone's connected to my...yawning drone;
my yawning drone's connected to my...zits (not shown)...
NOW I’m hearing the word of the Lord!