Ottet: An Octet of "-ot" Couples (with Supplemental Codotta)

          i. 

Baseball all-star Ott 
(call'd Mel, is Melvin not...?), 
a player who 
aspires to 
the Sultanate of Swat.

     Randolph Caldecott

resembles Ed Lear...NOT!

He does, although,

like Ed, earn dough

through sketches Randy'd jot. 

          ii. 

Jaat, a Hottenttot, 
performs his turkey trot 
while speaking !Kung, 
which twists his tongue. 
(This guy's a polyglot.) 
     Big bigot Margie Schott 
dispenses tommyrot, 
slurs "Japs" 'n' "Kikes,"
prefers Third Reichs: 
progressive Marge is not.

 

          iii. 

The Lady of Shalott 
dwells east of Camelot. 
Her lunch is curd; 
her munch preferr'd 
is oil of Bergamot. 
     Doctors say I've got 
a DVT -- a clot.
At first, my knees 
prove not "the bees.'" 
And now my veins are shot.

         iv.
M. Jean-Paul Marat 
extolls les sans-culottes. 
For this, Corday 
makes Jean-Paul pay: 
she stabs him, sans garrotte. 
     Hale Lucretia Mott 
assails male rule as rot. 
Her sister Suffs 
puff, "'Nuf's enough! 
We want that vote you've got."

         v. 

Brave Sir Lancelot 
slays knaves at Camelot. 
He's play'd by Cleese 
with expertise 
in Broadway's "Spamalot." 
     Dick and Jane's dog Spot 
those siblings train to trot, 
to fetch a ball 
nor that ain't all: 
that mutt can put a shot! 

     vi. 

Soprano Montserrat, 
on tour in "Turandot," 
earns ill reviews,
plus rounds of "boo!"s.' 
"Whaht ahm I: shahp or flaht...?"
     Milkah's brother Lot, 
once Sodom grows too hot 
(Gomorrah, too, 
comes down with feu), 
hightails it 'board his yacht.

     vii. 
Author Walter Scott 
is master of the plot. 
His seamless schemes 
Walt draws from dreams 
he dreams while smoking pot. 
     Benoit Mandelbrot 
with fractals casts his lot. 
D'you think it's larks 
to track those arcs...? 
If so, you don't know squat.

     viii. 
Pointillist Seurat,
whose girlfriend's name is Dot,
spends day 'n' night 
depicting light 
nigh Island of Grande Jatte. 
     Cambodia's Pol Pot 
'pon hist'ry plants a blot. 
He dwelt back then 
in west Phnom Penh 
but long'd for Angkor Wat.

     Codotta 

Betty Arbuthnot 
and Anastas'ya Ott, 
Monsieur Fermat, 
Herr Durrenmatt 
and football's T. J. Watt. 
    Henry Endicott,

the Hoople known as Mott, 
one Huguenot 
and Alex Trott:

they're all the "-ot"s I've got. 

OuLiPoem # 37

My spice rack's lacking cinnamon:
of condiments the clinamen.

Declaration of Condescendence

 

     Moments after twice-impeached 

former president Donald Drumpf left 

the stage of a campaign rally he had 

held in the museum wing of the 

National Archives, a museum guard 

noticed that the display case housing 

the Declaration of Independence had 

been breached and that the famous 

document had been mysteriously 

altered. 

     "The array of iconic signatures 

made by our Founding Fathers has 

been supplemented by a grotesque 

addition, most likely made by the 

black Sharpie discovered near the 

vandalized case," noted the guard.

      

     NARA has vowed to investigate.

Yo! A Nonsense Lyric (As Sung by Yolande)

"You've your yoyoing Yogi, 

 your yoyoing Yoda. 

 Yonder's yoyoing Yom Kippur.

 Your Yossarian, yoyoing, 

 yells, 'Hi-yo, Silver!'.

 You've yoyoing Yoko...yeah: her!

      "You've your yoyoing young 

 cryotherapist 

 (yours is yodeling 'sa-yo-na-ra'*).

 You've your yoyoing yoghurt-engorged 

 Dryopithecus; 

 yours yoyos (yoicks!) Yo-Yo Ma.

     "Rev'rend Spooner, while yoyoing, 

 yells, 'Rellow Yose! 

 Mold the hayo, Sosemite Yam!'

 Both those yokels, once through  

 (with their yoyoing, nu...?)

 yodel, 'Yolayheehoo...'

 So: are you -- yabba...doo!** -- 

 B.Y.O.ing your yoyos...?"

     "I am."

     * Unlike in English, Japanese does not employ

stress accent. The effect generally is that each 

syllable receives approximately the same stress --

which can, to Western ears, sound like a stress accent

is applied to the final syllable, as it sounds above.

     ** Truncated version of characteristic comment 

by same Yogi Bear who appears in the first line of 

this lyric.

Yoyoing Yogi

Yoyoing Yoda 

     

     

(More images to come)

Walternatives; Or, Perhaps Our Faults Aren't In Our Stars But Hinge Upon Our Avatars

     Walter 

Disney draws a rodent. 

     Walter 

Lantz...? He draws a bird. 
     Walter 

Kelly draws a swampful -- 
     feather'd, 

weather'd, scaled 'n' furr'd. 
     Walter 

Carr draws souls of black folk, 
     folk who 

look a lot like him. 
     Walter 

Simonson draws Thor,
     performs the 

chore with nimble vim. 
     Walter 

Handelsman draws pols
     as well as 

Pulitzer's applause. 

     And Mc-

Dougall, Walter, draws, 

     with L. Frank's 

aid, oddballs from Oz. 
     There've been 

so-o-o few unsuccessful 'toons
     from 

fellas nicknamed Walt.
     If 

my 'toons fail but I'm call'd Dale,
     how's 

such defeat my fault...?

Memento Mori (If Not Today, Tomorry)

There's Juan de Capistrano,
sev'ral Als -- Capone 'n' Capp. 
There's Gabriele Cappellini, 
famous painter chap. 
     There's hordes whose handles 
start with 'Cap,' 
tho' few remain afoot: 

Decapitated, captured, knee-capp'd...
most be now kaput.