Search This Blog

Friday, August 30, 2024

A Prehistory Of Standup Shtick: The Founding Fathers & "Button's Fly"

Most American Revolution buffs are familiar with Benjamin Franklin's memorable warning to his fellow signers of the Declaration of
Independence: "We must all hang together or we shall surely hang separately." 
     In fact, Franklin's frequent repetition of the iconic line, accompanied by his grabbing hold of his neck scarf, hangman's noose fashion, and 
sticking out his tongue in a parody of political execution became a gag (pun intended) referred to as "Ben's Tie" and proved a comedic relief
much-requested by his fellow Founding Fathers during those tendentious days leading to the Declaration's signing.
     "C'mon, Franklin! Do "Ben's Tie" again," the pair of Adamses from Massachusetts would cry. 
     Less well known is the history surrounding one Button Gwinnett, a co-signer of the Declaration from Georgia. Not to be outdone by his fellow revolutionary Franklin, Gwinnett attempted to best his rival's joshing with a piece of schtick of his own devising, one consisting of the sticking of his hand down the front of his trousers, the thrusting of it 
through the so-called French bearer and the wiggling of his thumb. This performance became known as "Button's Fly" but failed to achieve the comedic success of Franklin's achievement. 
     Some folks can tell 'em and some can't.


     Materials for future postings

     Presidents 
Warren G. Harding       "Warren's Piece"
Franklin Pierce             "Franklin's Stove" 
Grover Cleveland         "Grover's Corners"
Theodore Roosevelt      "Teddy's Bear" 
 

Wednesday, August 28, 2024

Anagramania

Text fragments due to be incorporated 
into an improbable narrative concerning 
the well-known deceased psychiatrist 
Eugene David Glynn: 

...seek'd a cranium... 
...rum, saké and ice...
...i.e., a sane Mr Duck... 

...I'm a cured sneak... 
...(variant) I'm a snake, cured...
...makes Curia end...
 
...run Akademe (sic)...
...(variant) Akademe (sic) urn...
...i.e., cakes and rum...

...ruin Dean's cake... 
..."A Mean Kid's Cure"...
...use red ink, Mac...

...Rice-Sneak Maud...
...I...? Me...? Under a sack...?
...(variant) Under a cask...? Me...? I...

...I cue mandrakes...
...rake mud (in case)...
...Ric and (eek!!) Maus...

...ramekin-caused...
...a mad cruise, Ken...
...Sendak, Maurice...

Monday, August 26, 2024

From The Archives: "S'awright!"

The ghost of Fred Trump channels 
Señor Wences, substituting his son 
Donald for the well-known Spanish 
ventriloquist's usual prop, Johnny.



  

Friday, August 23, 2024

Renaissance Redux; Or, That Silly Ol' Summer of '66 (i.e., 1366)

     A neo-motet in two voices  
just like Machaut used to make 
only way, way different.

     You 
dream......................
Tri-ads in trip-lets suc-
............you hear.....a
cee-ded by e-ven more

theme.....................
tri-pli-cate tri-ads, re-
............like to..............a
pla-cing those here-to-fore;

stream............of... 
tri-ads in tri-pli-cate 
steam.............or a.........
out from a key-board pour:

scream..............ex-
tri-pli-cate tri-ads my 
treme..........as you...
me-lo-dy un-der-score;

wake............................
tri-ads in threes, flip-ping, 
.............'longside.....a.....
trip-ping 'n' clow-ning more

lake..................................
tri-ads in threes, drip-ping -- 
.................a-stride............a..
wa-ving...? Nope: drow-ning out

na-..............................ked 
tri-ads in three-somes -- still 
sheik......................and the.....
hum-ming, still drum-ming -- yea,

qua-......................king 
tri-pli-cate tri-ads -- still.. 
rake........................he's un-
mum-ming, now com-ing to.....

dress'd.
rest. 

Wednesday, August 21, 2024

Donald's Fib Bits

Deceits 
till now...?
Plus thir-
ty thou-!

He vents;
he hates;
he ob-
fuscates.

His a-
cid t...?
Menda-
city. 

MAGA 
Nation...?
Fabri-
cation. 

Behold
his nibs, 
the prince 
of fibs. 

His lies...? 
Less white;
more an-
thricite. 

Whose nose 
so grows...?
Pinoc-
chio's.

His kids
'n' kin
provide
the spin.


Sunday, August 18, 2024

What's New, Uly...?

The title of 
my latest book...?
My Latest Book: 
The Sequel.
     Reviewers who've 
endured a look
say nowt will prove 
its equal.
     The work of lit 
preceding it...?
My Latest Book: 
The Prequel. 
     Who'll read all three*...? 
Perhaps some twee
and sentimental 
geek will.

*Reading all three works shall prove 
difficult as Poe has yet to publish or 
even compose My Latest Book
     Additionally, My Latest Book: 
The Prequel is presently out of print.

Friday, August 9, 2024

Odes In Earnest: Sixteen Diverse Verses Prompted By Anagrams On The Prince Of Paradox's Moniker

     OSCARWILDE
     ORALEWDSIC

...or, "alewd" (sic).

     (a work in progress) 

*  *  *  *  *  

     OSCARWILDE
     IDRAWCLOSE

...I draw close.

     (a work in progress)

*  *  *  *  *

     OSCARWILDE
     ADIOSCREWL

Goodbyes Wilde bids 
to all his yarns,
each bobbin, spindle, reel 'n' spool:
"Aloha, mohair; 
see ya, silk;
farewell, chinelle,
     adios, crewl."

*  *  *  *  *

     OSCARWILDE
     IWASDRCOLE 

I, when running 
scenes with Wilde,
invested 
heart and soul.
(Oscar play'd 
Nurse Gotobed
while
     I was Dr. Cole.) 

*  *  *  *  *

     OSCARWILDE
     IECOLDWARS

Oscar fancies 
conflicts hot,
with Jerries, Nips, 
with Frogs 'n' Boers.
To fight the Rus 
he'd rather not:
he hates impasse --
     i.e., Cold Wars. 

*  *  *  *  *

     OSCARWILDE
     CARDEWLOIS

Wilde also penn'd 
a play about a
gal who hail'd from Angelo, Wis-
consin, one 
unknown to Jack, a
wholly other 
     Cardew: Lois.*

*Not to be confused with Cecily Cardew,
Worthing's ward in Wilde's comic farce
"The Importance of Being Earnest." 

*  *  *  *  *

     OSCARWILDE
     IWASCOLDER 

     (work in progress) 

*  *  *  *  *

     OSCARWILDE
     CARDEWSOIL

"For Cecily," 
sighs Algernon,
"I ache, I pine, 
I yearn.
Her neumonon 
I dote upon.
Her love 
I long to earn.
I covet not 
Miss Cardew's wealth
(who claims so 
makes me boil).
I care not for 
Miss Cardew's mines 
nor for Miss
     Cardew's oil." 

*Algernon Moncrieff's passion for Cecily 
Cardew is demonstrated throughout Wilde's 
comic farce "The Importance of Being Earnest." 
The play fails, however, to reveal either the 
nature or extent of Miss Cardew's estate nor 
indeed whether she possesses any at all.   

*  *  *  *  *

     OSCARWILDE
     ALICEWORDS

Wilde combs through Carroll's Alice books,
then lists his findings,
grouped in thirds.
"First, 'frumious.' Next,  
'Bandersnatch.' Third, 
'wabe.' trey of
     Alice words."

*  *  *  *  *

     OSCARWILDE
     CLIOSAWRED 

Wilde courted 
the Muses. ('Tis said
Oscar even 
took Thalia to bed.)
Euterpe was pleased. 
Terpsichore...? Teased.
But Erato and 
     Clio saw red. 

*  *  *  *  *

     OSCARWILDE
     SOWARELCID

Oscar queries de Vivar 
(or so he says he did),
"You battle Christians; Muslims, too...?" 
asks Wilde.
     "So: war, El Cid...?" 

*  *  *  *  *
 
     OSCARWILDE
     DREWSOCIAL

Oscar party games 
would play.
“Pick any card, sir,” 
Oscar'd say,
devoid of all 
frivolity.
“On each be writ 
that quality
Dame Destiny 
ascribes to you.
Scoff not, my friend. 
Her cards speak true."
(Young Aubrey Beardsley 
drew ‘precocial.’
Ross drew ‘loyal.’ 
Wilde 
     drew ‘social.’) 

*  *  *  *  *
 
     OSCARWILDE
     WIECOSLARD

Says Wilde, "I'm mad 
for skinny lads.
'Mongst linguists, 
lean's oft barr'd:
wi' Chomsky's girth's 
pack'd meager mirth,
as 'tis 
     wi' Eco's lard." 

*  *  *  *  *

     OSCARWILDE
     ISCELAWORD

Wilde to 
sawbones Fauci: 
"Doc, have I not 
overheard
your asking 
Ronny Jackson 
if with Debra 
he's conferr'd
to determine 
posilutely 
if immunity's 
gone herd...?
(And if, within 
his Oval bin, 
Drumpf asks, 
     'Is 'cel' a word...?')...?" 

*  *  *  *  *

     OSCARWILDE
     IOSREDCLAW

"Proof Olympus 
loves spinoffs 
of Parkinson's Law...? 
Search no further," 
shrugs Oscar, 
"than 
     Io's red claw." 

*  *  *  *  *

     OSCARWILDE
     COLARDWISE

Wilde's green cuisine 
commands the prize.
He's Edna Lewis, 
     col'ard-wise. 

*  *  *  *  *

Materials: 

A solid crew  X 
A cowl dries  X 
A crow'd isle  X 
A deco swirl  X
Air'd "Le Scow"
Air'd Lew's CO  
Alice words 
Alice's word  X 
Ali's Roc Dew
Ali's Roc Wed  X
Ali! We scor'd!  X
al'ows cider
a slow dicer
A word slice
Alice sword
A wordsicle  X
A row, sliced

Cardew's Oil 
Cold Ears, WI  X 
Cilea Sword  X
Clas'...? "Widower."  X 
Cold, I swear!  X 
C.O.D. air slew
Cried Sal: "Wo'!"  X 
CA rides low.
Car's oil...? Dew!  X
(C): A Wild Rose  X
Cora is lewd.  X
"Cor!"...? Wel' said!  X
Coward lies.  X   
Coward's lie
Cows derail! 
Crowd aisle!
Cawdor Isle  X 
Cries, "A wold!"  X 
Crowe's Dali  X
Carol's wide.

DCI Al swore.  X
Driscol' awe
DA cries, "Owl!"  X 
Dear ol' Wics:  X
Dire Slaw Co. 
Doric Wales  X
DOW's a relic.  X
De laws o' Ric  X 
DWI! Leo's car...?  X
Do eclairs w____...?
Dice...? Or laws...?  X
 
E. coli wards  X 
"'e cwasi, Lord!" 
El Cid...or was
Eric...? S! Aldo...? W!
"...'eld i' ascrow." 
El Cid saw Ro-...
"...ears...lid...cow!"
Erica's wold
Eric's a wold. 
Eric was old.  X

Ilsa Wecord 
Ideal crows 
I draw Cole's  X
I'd wear clo's  X
I also crew'd.  X
I do Al's crew.
I draw close.
I raced...s  l  o  w  X
Is Lear cow'd...?
I slew Draco.  X
I saw ER Doc L.  X 
I -- cold! -- swear. 
I lose...? Ward C!  
I scared Owl.  X 

Lear is cow'd  X  
Law code, sir!  X
Lois Cardew
Low cars die.
Low C, raised  X 
A lower disc.  X 
Le Disco War   x 
Low sidecar
Lo! Icewards!
La Screw...? Dio!
Lew...? Cora...? Sid...?  X

Oil Ace Rd., S.W.  X 
Or slaw iced  X
Old Wis'acre  X 
Ol' Deric saw.
Or, dis a clew
O, scar'd wile!
Ow! d'Arc lies!  X
(O) Sliced raw
Ow'd eclairs  X 
Or El Cid was.  X
Or El Cid saw. 
Owl Sidecar 
 
Raid Lew's CO  X 
"Rowli**cades"  X
re: a soil'd WC  X
Reads, "Wilco!"  X 

Scrod wi' ale
Scio 'wad'ler' 
So weird, Cal!  X 
Scowler Aid
Seward Coil 
Sie World, CA  X
Sacred owl...? I...?
Sac' o' rildew  X
Sid...? Lew...? Cora...?
Sired a...clow...?  X
"Soldier...?" "WAC!"  X
So, El Cid: war...? 
Sailor, WCed
Saw roc...? Lied.
S read: "Wilco."  X
"...," said Le Crow. 
Sri de la Cow
Slower acid
Soiled craw  X 

Wade, Cloris! 
Wid' col' ears 
Worse: Cali'd!  X 
Woc lids are  X 
W card...? I lose. 
Wid' escarol'  X
Walid's core
Waldo cries  X 
Wide ol' cars  X
Waldo's rice.
W: "La...si..." "C: "Re...do!"  X
Weird colas  X
"We's cordial!"
We...? Sic Roald...?     
We'd sic Arlo. 
We soil'd Arc. 
WC read soli.     
Wide corals
Wails, "Credo..."  X
Wace is Lord!  X 
We roal'd (sic).  X
Wed Lorca...? Si!  X


Saturday, August 3, 2024

Forgotten Sunday Supplement Comic Strips: Walt Disney & "Lydia's Newt"

        Before Donald and Mickey -- even before the memorable Steamboat Willie -- legendary cartoonist Walt Disney created a now forgotten strip: "Lydia's Newt." 
         This early work by the soon-to-be-famous animator promised to chronicle the daily ups and downs of Russian prima ballerina Lydia Lopokova as she attempted to teach her pet salamander, Kiril Kirilovitch, some simple ballet technique using the Vaganova method. Blunt-snouted, short-limbed Kiril, however, much preferred studying essays outlining the macroeconomic theories of Lydia's husband, famed economist John Maynard Keynes. Conflict was bound to ensue.
         Disney completed only three half-page, six-panel color newspaper spreads before abandoning the project in favor of the experiments in film animation which would ultimately lead to his success.
         Only a single manuscript of "Lydia's Newt" -- that of what would have been its final installment -- appears to have survived.

Christmas Day: A Mare Egg...

     "A Mare Egg, Her Wrist, "Miss Two 'U'"