Artifiction: Rin-Tin-Tintin

By the time original Rin Tin Tin passed away in 1932, the world's most famous German Shepherd had already starred in dozens of Hollywood movies, thereby contributing substantially to the financial success of the Warner Bros film studio that employed him. Meanwhile in Europe, the popularity of Belgian cartoonist Herge's most recent graphic creation, a teen-age newspaper reporter mononymously dubbed Tintin, was rapidly accelerating. With the publication one year before of a book treatment of the youngster's latest escapades, Tintin in America, the adventures of the comic sleuth had attracted the attention of a whole new family of fans in the United States. At that moment, Hollywood child actor Ninnian J. Yule, Jr., a recent transplant from New York who had that same year appeared in his first, though uncredited, film role, was giving thought to a costume he might wear to a Tinseltown Halloween party, finally deciding on a mashup of the Wonder Dog and the Boy Reporter. With the aid of a low-level MGM makeup artist, young Yule attached a pair of pointed ears fashioned from burlap and wolf skin and a prosthetic canine nose to a real-human-hair fabrication resembling Tintin's signature quiff -- the entire ensemble held together with a web of rubber bands. To don his disquise, the young Ninnian first placed the artificial nose over his own Irish pug, adjusting the false nostrils so as to allow optimal breathing. He then positioned the ears at the top of his head, leaving space for the golden tuft between the two. Until 2022 feared lost, this one-of-a-kind memorabilium, though in less-than-pristine condition, sold at auction the following March for just short of 185,000 dollars.       

Artifiction: Grimm/Shaw

Measuring just under 6.2 inches (16 centimeters) in height, this walrus tusk, yellowed by weather and distressed by passage through many hands, is engraved with an array of finely etched images portraying heroines drawn from the literary works of Germany's most famous folklorists as well as those of the equally renowned Anglo-Irish playwright often referred to by his initials GBS. The object has come to be known among maritime museum curators and fans of nautical lore as The Grimm/Shaw Scrimshaw. Carved across its surface, probably with a sharp needle, are an array of fine incisions which have been filled in with an ink made of candle black and tobacco juice, among which are the portrasit heads of Clever Gretel, Eliza Doolittle, Little Red Riding Hood and Major Barbara Undershaft. The identity of the artist or, more likely, of the artists (the graphic style employed to portray Shaw's heroines is definitely distinct in character from that used in picturing the Grimm Brothers' females) are unknown. Probably these men -- and they would most certainly have been men -- doubtless worked as crew members aboard one of the armada of early 20th-century whaling vessels shipping out of the UK to fish off the coasts of Greenland. Carved no earlier than 1912, the year Pygmalion was first brought to the stage, the piece is currently in the hands of a private Japanese collector of nautical paraphernalia residing in Stonington, Connecticut, USA.     

Artifiction: Basasagi

This monolith, the sole survivor extant, was originally one of nine in a peripteral arrangement supporting the entablature and roof of a small shrine built of stone on the now-uninhabited island of Ikez Adasi off the western coast of Turkey. Employed in the rituals of a thus far unidentified local pre-Christian religion, each column of the small building, which was used as a site for meditation, took the form of a unique stylized figure known as a basasagi to indicate its upside-down attitude, the disproportionally large head of which was dominated by an dispropor- tionally large gaping mouth, the teeth of which were fashioned of ivory and positioned within this gigantic grin so as to form a rank of vertical bars, making the inside of each basasagi's mouth into a kind of cage. Each of these nine mouth/cages housed a small flock of one or another species of so-called talking birds. Parrots and mynahs, budgerigars and cockatiels, starlings, ravens and African greys, in fact, any breed of bird capable of mimicking each others' calls, the voicings of other animals, even human speech -- all were collected from around the then-known world to be housed within the folly-like structure. At night the birds largely remained silent. But as the each morning sun's rays reached the columns in turn through the day, the various groupings of birds began sounding their myriad voicings and vocables. The impression created was that the basasagi were speaking, singing and orating. Visitors to the folly, unaware of the presence of the birds, ascribed to the basasagi oracular powers, insisting that questions put to the various personifications were answered, no matter how equivocally or obscurely. 

Just Ask!

   One 

Ask any 'n' all, "What does  

'idiom' mean...?"

Ask Annie N. Hall. (Don't ask 

Idi Amin.)

   Two

If you ask me, 

it tastes like chicken. 

Christmas Day: A Mare Egg...

     "A Mare Egg, Her Wrist, "Miss Two 'U'"

Fourth Week, Day 3, Tuesday: A Weigh-In...

     "A Weigh-In (Amen...? Sure!)" 

Fourth Week, Day 2, Monday: Hyam...

    "Hyam Dreaming of a Wide "'Christmas'" 

Fourth Week, Day 1, Sunday: Esau...

      "Esau Cleaves Ships" 

Third Week, Day 7, Saturday: Cell...

     "Cell...Verb...'L's" 

First Principles

It's always something.
If it isn't one thing it's another.

Third Week, Day 6, Friday: Green...

    "Green She Leaves" 

Third Week, Day 5, Thursday: Ho...

    "Ho! Ho! Lean Knight"

Third Week, Day 4, Wednesday: Eyesore...

    "Eyesore: Mommy Kissing Sam Nickolas" 

Third Week, Day 3, Tuesday: '"Silence...

    "'Silence, Knight!'"

Third Week, Day 2, Monday: Froze'...

    "Froze' Teeth On Snow, Man"

Third Week, Day 1, Sunday: Deck'd...

    "Deck'd Three Awls"

Second Week Of Advent, Day 7, Saturday: No...

    "No 'L'...?"

Second Week Of Advent, Day 6, Friday: Low...

If you don't know all the words, just hum:
   "Low 'How,' A Rose Hare, Blue Ming"

Second Week Of Advent, Day 5, Thursday: Hyam...

    "Hyam Trimming Off A Wide Xmas" 

Collaboration Lab: Gershwin & Poe's "But Not Form E"

Uly Poe is currently hand-in-glove 

with Ira Gershwin, busy reimagining 

the latter's lyric "But Not For Me" 

in order to accommodate it to Uly's 

new musical set on the grounds of 

an English public school and dealing 

with the improprieties of a class of 

young miscreants, the notorious 

Form E.

Form A...? This throng I love.

But not Form E.

Form B...? Two cuts above. 

But not Form E.

C formers...? Distingue,

though, sadly, not today:

Form E gets in their way.

Catastrophe!

E formers take the piss; 

they pass the buck.

Hi ho! Alas! And also...WTF!

The other forms at school

are fire and dope and cool --

all good eggs as a rule.

But not Form E. 

Second Week Of Advent, Day 4, Wednesday: Hy Saw...

 C'mon, everybody; you all know the words:
   "Hy Saw'd Mom: "She's Kissing Sandy Claws!"

Second Week Of Advent, Day 3, Tuesday: Oak...

 I...can't...HEAR...you...
   "Oak...a maul...leaf...faithful"

Second Week Of Advent, Day 2, Monday: Wee...

Sing along with 
   "Wee Freak'd Kings"

Second Week Of Advent, Day 1, Sunday: Choy...

Light two candles today and sing a chorus of 
   "Choy, Tooth, Off World" 

Broken: Pace Fats Waller

-elf a boutonniere Lulu's back in-elf a boutonniere Lulu's back in-elf a boutonniere Lulu's back in-elf a boutonniere Lulu's back in-elf a boutonniere Lulu's back in-elf a boutonniere Lulu's back in-elf a boutonniere Lulu's back in-elf a boutonniere Lulu's back in-elf a boutonniere Lulu's back...

First Week Of Advent Musical Liturgy, Day 7, Saturday: Gin...

Today's sacred hymn...?
   "Gin, Gull, Belle: Rock!" 

First Week Of Advent Musical Liturgy, Day 6, Friday: Holly...

As you light the week's single candle 

which stands in the middle of your wreath 

of ivy, why not join in a chorus or two of 

   "The Holly & The I.V." 

Bio In Brief: An Apologia

Uly Poe pens dogg'rel verse.
"'Tis fun," hums Uly, "I disburse."
The gamut runs from bad to worse.
The matter treated...? Plu-diverse --
most, postcards from his universe,
replies to grudges he must nurse.
My summary...? Let me be terse:
a blessing, largely. (Not a curse.)

'Fre(e/y)'-For-All

Says Joffrey to Geoffrey 
astride his pale palfrey.
"Life care-free I've never not sought."
Says Geoffrey to Joffrey,
"To get out of jail free,
bent referees have to be bought."
Says Joffrey to Geoffrey
from high in the belfry,
"For doodie-free life I have fought."
Says Geoffrey to Joffrey,
"If you'd be some fancy-free 
conferee, act as you ought." 

First Week Of Advent Musical Liturgy, Day 5, Thursday: Lettuce...

Here is today's seasonal hymn.
Everybody, sing! 

   "Lettuce...? No! Lettuce...? No! 

Lettuce...? No!" 

First Week Of Advent Musical Liturgy, Day 4, Wednesday: Okra's...

Today's musical liturgy features a 

favorite seasonal hymn of liturgists 

and vegetarians alike: 

   "Okra's Mystery." 

First Week Of Advent Musical Liturgy, Day 3, Tuesday: Sandy...

Today finds some Poe devotees caroling 

yet another seasonal favorite:

   "Sandy Closets Come Into Town." 

First Week Of Advent Musical Liturgy, Day 2, Monday: Ears...

During the week Poe's followers will also 

be heard singing this popular tune based 

on both well-known Old Testament lore 

as well as certain prominent facial parts: 

   "Ears, Gums, Antique Laws"