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Saturday, February 22, 2020

Spoon Your Prayers

The Book of Common Prayer:
a copy's in your pew.
A Pooka-bombin' c'reer
ain't no vocation I'd pursue.
     Moral:
Raise swords! Praise Lords!

Friday, February 21, 2020

Spoon Sandwich

Bacon, lettuce:
BLT chef’s 
chief ingredi-
ents.
Lacan* bet us:
“All y'all know of 
lingo makes no 
sense.”
     Moral:
You say 'tomato'...? So: what do you think I say...?
     * Controversial French psychoanalyst 
Jacques Lacan 

Thursday, February 20, 2020

Spoon Fed

No! You bit the hand that feeds you...?
Such behavior ain't so nice.
Besides, you laugh'd off circumspection. 
So: you'd fit the band that heeds you...?
Give 'em rock-'n'-roll advice
and they'll approve your groove direction.
     Moral:
And a-one...and a-two...and a-you know what to do.

Wednesday, February 19, 2020

Spooner the Beautiful

For wheat, US has got a Jones:
amber waves of grain.
Mad Tony and Duke’s dusk-lit stones...?
Amber graves of Wayne.
     Moral:
Sarcophagi…? Superflui!

Tuesday, February 18, 2020

Spartan Spoonin'

Go tell the Spartans, 
“Boys, your battle plaids lay ready.
Nowt's left to do 
but to coat them kilts with jam."
So: gel the tartans! 
(Wow! 'Tis leavin’ me unsteady,
all this marmalade. Are you light-headed…?
Yowza! I sure am.)
     Moral:
Race war…? No, Moor!

Monday, February 17, 2020

Conchie Spooner

One hears of battles won upon 
the playing fields of Eton,
but ne’er of bloodbaths’ aftermaths:
the flaying peels, half eaten.
     Moral:
“Into the breach”…? F**k that speech!

Degrees (Positive, Comparative, Superlative)

Degrees
Begin by printing a hard copy of this image. 

Next, using scissors or a razor blade, cut carefully 
along the dotted line. Remove the USA-shaped paper scrap,
then Scotch tape the entire remaining sheet to your bathroom mirror 
and, while looking into the USA-shaped negative space...
reflect. 


Sunday, February 16, 2020

Second Sunday Spooner

Lyin' dog-faced pony soldier
Dyin' fog-laced Sony poldier*
     A multinat 
(one Asian-based) 
ecdysiast,
enmask’d in mists, 
her days here lists 
(her time now past) --
while Uncle Joe 
lets fly with, lo, 
another blast.
     Moral:
Who’d be POTUS lives on notice.
     * A poldier is either one who 
postpones indefinitely bowel 
movement or a hardworking 
stripper, depending upon which 
urban dictionary is relied upon. 
Here the latter definition is 
selected.  

Sunday Spooner

The Waltz of the Flowers
& the Faults of the "Wow!"ers
     Mr. and Mrs. O. Meig-Hahsh
know nada from "To Floss"
so the kids in family O. Meig-Hahsh
know nada from "To Rinse"
while Padrino makes her* present
of a Nutcracker/Prince. 
     Moral:
Tell us which is Ilyitch's!
     * Clara, heroine of Tchaikovsky's
best-known ballet, and her gift-giving 
godfather Herr Drosselmeyer

Saturday, February 15, 2020

Two Spooners

 "The Man Who Would Be King": 
a blip in Kipling's data base.
The Khan who would be Ming...?
Chas Middleton: Archfiend from Space.
     Moral:
Din, Din, Din! No jive: bring me Flash...alive!
  That legumes grow that tall 
young Jack couldn't know.
"Hey, Fatso! Your denims...? 
Untactfully low!"
     (Jack and the Beanstalk
& Back and the Jeans Talk.)
     Moral:
Make sure your slacks expose no cracks!


Thursday, February 13, 2020

Runcibl'd Spooner

You've reach'd a parting of the ways.
Just one you now must choose.
Croaks Lawn Care worker M. Francaise,"
"Comb grassplots...? Je refuse'!"
      (The Road Not Taken 
The Toad Not Rakin.')
     Moral:
Ape Yogi: when you meet a fork,
take it! (How I ♥ New York!)

"King Dump": "Ubu Roi" Reimagined Yet Again

  (More to come; a work in progress.)