Just Good or Bad?

Is there just up or down?
Just Haifa or Riyadh?
Just Zionist or Islamist?
Is there just good or bad?

Is there just A or Z?

Just whole shebang or tad?
Just epic verse or doggerel?
Is there just good or bad?

Pacifica or Fox?

Is there just Gwent or Galahad?
Just fake news or the truth well told?
Is there just good or bad?

Is there just First or Second Worlds?

(Have Third World folks been had?)
Is there just wealth or poverty?
Is there just good or bad?

Is there just male or female?

Just Mataji or Dad?
Twixt Yin or Yang there’s no such thang?
Is there just good or bad?

Is there just black or white?

Just moderate or rad?
Just Communist or Neo-con?
Is there just good or bad?

Is there just left or right?

Just fresh-faced frosh or grad?
Just senior cit or teen-age twit?
Is there just good or bad?

Is there just Choice or Right to Life?

Just credos ironclad?
Just shanty or McMansion?
Is there only good or bad?

Is there just atheist or deist,

avant-garde or trad?
Just Catholic or Calvinist?
Is there just good or bad?

Is there just red or blue?

Just eggshell white or plaid?
Just fire, water, earth or air?
Is there just good or bad.

Is there just I or thou?

Is there just sane or mad?
The missing link’s the one who thinks
there’s only good or bad.

Two Bumbershots

I.

     Sometimes 
brolly names open with 
As, Bs, Cs, Ds.

     Sometimes 
brolly names start off with 
Es, Fs or Gs.
     H gamps…? 
I gamps…? Js, Ks, Ls…? Ms, 
Ns, Os or Ps…?
     Sure…plus 
Qs, Rs, or Ss. (Don’t 
skip Us or Vs.)
     Sometimes 
brolly initials be 
Ys. Sometimes Zs.
     (Why do 
none start with Ws, 
Xs or Ts?)*

2.

     Why do 
parapleurotics ob-
sess about gamps?

     Why are 
gamphopaths haunted by 
dark dews ‘n’ damps?
     Why do 
paraGones groan: "Golly! 
Where be me brolly...?" 
     (Then 
dance their parAgons – when 
zephyrs turn squally...?)

* Here is a list of alternate names for umbrella coupled with the geographical locales and languages in which they may be heard.

Agboorun Yoruba

Ambulera Nyanja
Amburera Shona
Aterkia Basque

Brolly UK
Bumbershoot US

Cador Macedonian
Catr Tajik
Cadur Bulgarian
Chata Bangla, Nepali
Chatari Punjabi
Chatra Gujarati
Chatri Kanada, Marathi
Chhataree Hindi
Chht Khmer

Dackel Luxembourgish

Dallad Somali
Dazdnik Slovak
Deever Mongolian
Destnik Czech
Deznik Slovenian

Elo Malagasy

Esernyo Hungarian

Faamalu Samoan

Gamp UK

Godugu Telugu
Guarda-chuva Portuguese

Hovanavor Armenian

Htee Burmese

Isambulela Xhosa, Zulu

Jumta Latvian

Kasa Japanese

Kaus Hmong
Kisobran Bosnian, Croatian, Serbian
Kol Catir Kyrgyz
Kolga Georgian
Kudayak Sinhala
Kuta Malayalam
Kutai Tamil

Laima Hausa

Malu Hawaiian

Mizala Arabic
Mwavuli Swahili

Nche Anwu Igbo

O Vietnamese

Ombrelle Albanian
Ombrello Italian
Omprela Greek

Paraigua Catalan

Parapli Haitian Creole
Paraplu Dutch, Western Frisian
Parapluie French
Paraply Danish, Norwegian, Swedish  
Parasol Polish
Parasol’ka Ukrainian
Parason Belarusian
Paraguas Galician, Spanish
Payong Cebuano, Filipino, Malay
Payung Indonesian, Javanese, Sudanese
Pluvombrelo Esperanto

Qolsatir Kazakh

Regenshirm German

Regnhlif Icelandic
Rm Thai

Sambreel Afrikaans

Sateenvrjo Finnish
Scath Irish
Sekhele Southern Sotho
Semsiye Azerbaijani, Turkish
Sgailean Scottish Gaelic
Shirem YiddishSidank Kurdish
Sketis Lituanian
Soyabon Uzbek 

T...? 

Umanga Maori
Usan Korean

Umbrela Romanian

Vihmavari Estonian

W...? 

X...? 

Ymbarel Welsh

Yusan Chinese (Simplified)

Zhanit’ila Amharic

Zontik Russian

From the Posthumous Papers of Ernst "Thirsty Fritz" Sauckel

99 Jews air their views at the Wall. 99 Jews airing views.
If one with El Youssef gets into a brawl, there'll be 98 Jews airing views at the Wall.

98 Jews left to schmooze at the Wall. 98 Jews dishing schmooze.
If one is unable to borrow a shawl, there'll be 90 plus 7 a-schmooze at the Wall.

90 plus 7 Jews choose at the Wall. 90 plus 7 Jews choose.
If one ceases praying ("This kippah's too small") there'll be 96 Jews left to choose at the Wall. 

96 Jews beltin’ blues at the Wall. 96 Jews beltin’ blues.
If one belts "Baruch!" in a West-Texas drawl, there'll be 95 Jews beltin’ blues at the wall.

95 Jews queue in twos at the Wall. 95 Jews queue in twos.
If one performs stunts with his medicine ball, there’ll be 94 queueing in twos at the Wall.

94 Jews drinking booze at the Wall. 94 Jews drinking booze.
If one departs early for nosh at the mall, there’ll be 93 Jews drinking booze at the Wall.

93 Jews pay their dues at the Wall. 93 Jews paying dues.
If one supports “Two-State” – (“‘twere three parts in Gaul…”) there’ll be 92 Jews paying dues at the Wall.

92 Jews light a fuse at the Wall. 92 Jews light a fuse.
If one sets his bomb off, thus giving his all, there’ll be 91 Jews with a fuse at the Wall.

91 Jews losing shoes at the Wall. 91 Jews losing shoes.
If one, thinking twice, keeps his on after all, there’ll be 90-some Jews doffing shoes at the Wall.

90-some Jews look for loos near the Wall. 90-some Jews search for loos.
If one leaves the quarter to “answer the call,” there’ll be 89 Jews without loos at the Wall.

89 Jews search for clues at the Wall. 89 Jews search for clues.
If one finds a shekel, one minted by Saul, there’ll be 88 Jews with no clues at the Wall.

88 Jews take their cues at the Wall. 88 Jews taking cues.
If one cries, “I am big: the pictures got small,” there’ll be 7-plus-80-odd Jews at the Wall.

Jews – 87! -- wipe ooze from the Wall. Jews – 87! -- wipe ooze.
If one eschews soap, using grain alcohol, there’ll be 86 Jews wiping ooze from the Wall.

86 Jews fasten screws to the Wall. 86 Jews fasten screws.
If one, name of Ringo, hangs portraits of Paul, there’ll be 85 Jews setting screws in the Wall.

85 Jews slaughter gnus at the Wall. 85 Jews slaughter gnus.
Of one, to keep kosher, should shutter his stall, there’ll be 84 Jews killing gnus at the Wall.

84 Jews bare tattoos at the Wall. 84 Jews bare tattoos.
If one wears “Love, Mom” in a heart – and that’s all, there’ll be 83 stark-naked Jews at the Wall.

83 Jews shear their ewes at the Wall. 83 Jews shear their ewes.
If one shaves his sheep a bit close (hear it bawl?), there’ll be 82 Jews shearing ewes at the Wall.

82 Jews hop their brews at the Wall. 82 Jews hopping brews.
If one brews a Ghorka, as brew’d in Nepal, there’ll be 81 Jews hopping brews at the Wall.

81 Jews plot their coups at the Wall. 81 Jews plotting coups.
If one says to Yasser, “You’re takin’ the fall,” there’ll be 80-some Jews plotting coups at the Wall.

80-some Jews recruit crews at the Wall. 80-some Jews recruit crews.
If one cries, “I’m hiring no blokes from Bhopal,” there’ll be 79 Jewish scouts at the Wall.

79 Hebrews cruising the Wall. 79 Hebrews cruise.
If one, though named Abd, finds a date after all, there’ll be 78 Hebrews cruising the Wall.

78 Jews down Dews at the Wall. 78 downing Dews.
If one to club soda’s discovered in thrall, there’ll be 77 Dew’d Jews at the Wall.

77 Jews lose at the Wall. 77 Jews lose.
If one, against all odds, wins big after all, there’ll be 76 Jews who lose at the Wall.

76 Jews plant yews at the Wall. 76 Jews plant yews.
If one plants a pin oak instead – one too tall -- there’ll be 75 sapling yews at the Wall.

75 Jews bring Siouxs to the Wall. 75 Jews bring Siouxs.
If one says, “Chief Smoke won’t, though maybe his squaw’ll,” there’ll be 74 Jews with Siouxs at the Wall.

74 Jews tame shrews at the Wall. 74 Jews tame shrews.
If Shakespeare’s King John one would then overhaul, there’ll be 73 Jew-tamed shrews at the Wall.

73 Jews a-snooze at the Wall. 73 Jews a-snooze.
If one, waken’d rudely, commences to bawl, there’ll be 72 Jews a-snooze at the Wall.

72 Jews cook stews at the Wall. 72 Jews cook stews.
If one adds, not wine, but propylene glycol, there’ll be 71 stew’d Jews strewn ‘round the Wall.

71 Jews hear “Nu…?”s at the Wall. 71 Jews hear “Nu…?”s
If one fears that Yiddish expressions appall, there’ll be 70 Jews hearing “Nu…?”s at the Wall.

70 Jews defame Druze at the Wall. 70 Jews defame Druze.
If one Jew acknowledges, “That’s a foul ball,” there’ll be 69 Jews dissing Druze at the Wall.

69 Jews spit their chews on the Wall. 69 Jews spitting chews.
If one says, “My Beechnut to spew I refuse,” there’ll be 68 Jews spewing chews at the Wall.

68 Jews faking news at the Wall 68 Jews faking news.
If one of them says, “You can’t fight city hall,” 67 fake news Jews there’ll be at the Wall.

60 plus 7 Jews sue near the Wall. 60 plus 7 Jews sue.
If one of them settles (“I hate a long haul”), there’ll be 66 Jews with disputes near the Wall.

66 Jews treading sloughs near the Wall. 66 Jews treading sloughs.
If one of ‘em falls but continues to crawl, there’ll be 65 Jews treading sloughs near the Wall.

65 Jews comb their dos at the Wall. 65 Jews comb their dos.
If one of them opts for a synthetic fall, there’ll be 64 Jews combing dos at the Wall.

64 Jews catch bird flus at the Wall. 64 Jews catching flus.
If one uses vaccine with corn ethanol, there’ll be 63 Jews still with flus at the Wall.

63 Jews sniffing glues at the Wall. 63 Jews sniffing glues.
If one mixes Elmer’s with parasite gall, there’ll be 62 Jews sniffing glues at the Wall.

62 Jews spray-paint hues on the Wall. 62 Jews spraying hues.
If one covers all with a Gainsboro pall, there’ll be 61 Jews spraying hues on the Wall.

61 Jews hail their muse at the Wall. 61 Jews hail their muse.
If one of those muses dismisses the call, there’ll be 60-some muse-hailing Jews at the Wall.

60-some Jews construct pews at the Wall 60-some Jews construct pews.
If one of those Jews hollers, “Prie-dieux for all!”...there’ll be 59 Jews building pews at the Wall.

59 Juif cordon-bleus at the Wall. 59 Juif cordon-bleus.
If one opts to saute cuisine from Nepal, there’ll be 58 Juif cordon-bleus at the Wall.

58 Jews mouthing ‘mu’s at the Wall. 58 Jews mouthing ‘mu’s.
If one mouths a ‘nu’ instead (dreadful miscall!), there’ll be 7-plus-50 Jews  ‘mu’ing the Wall.

50 plus 7 Jews coo towards the Wall. 50 pus 7 Jews coo.
If one of those Jews grabs a last curtain-call, there’ll be 56 Jews cooing “ooh!”s at the Wall.

56 Jews courting Sues at the Wall. 56 Jews courting Sues.
If one of those Jews cries, “Suzette: you’re too tall!” there’ll be 55 Jews courting Sues at the Wall.

55 Jews speaking Wu at the Wall. 55 Jews speaking Wu.
If one of them says, “This is not Montreal!” there’ll be 54 Jews speaking Wu at the Wall.

54 Hebrews call’d Saul scale the Wall. 54 Hebrews call’d Saul.
If one of ‘em changes his name to RuPaul, there’ll be 53 Hebrews call’d Saul on the Wall.

53 Jews roses strew near the Wall. 53 Jews roses strew.
If one of those Jews feels that daisies enthrall, there’ll be 52 Jews left to strew near the Wall.

52 Jews cry, “J’accuse!” at the Wall. 52 Jews cry, “J’accuse!”
If one gets the picture: “This ain’t Montreal,” there’ll be 51 cries of “J’accuse!” at the Wall.

51 Jews sweeping flues near the Wall. 51 Jews sweeping flues.
If one plans a new Franklin stove to install, there’ll be 50 in all Jewish sweeps near the Wall.

Jews – half a hundred! – a-sprawl at the Wall. Jews – half a hundred! – a-sprawl,
which Jews, having fought, in one huge free-for-all, to decide which would win the required wherewithal
to repair wear 'n' tear on their prized Western Wall, put an end to each other. Shalom to 'em all.

Which...?

So: which the Rocker? Which the Mod?
Sebastian Bach? Scheherazade? Baum's Tik-Tok? People of the Pod?
Lo: which the Rocker? Which the Mod?

So: which the Rocker? Which the Mod?

Dan Blocker? Wynken, Blynken, Nod? Vom Himmel hock…aka God?
No...? Which the Rocker? Which the Mod?

So: which the Rocker? Which the Mod?

Thor’s Ragnarok? Th’ Impaler ("Vlahd")? Mon Frere Jacques? Gen’ral Zod?
Doh! Which the Rocker? Which the Mod?

So: which the Rocker? Which the Mod?

La Baby Doc? (Like fils, like “dahd”!) Ben’s Gaylord Focker? Sweeney Todd?
Yo! Which the Rocker? Which the Mod?

So: which the Rocker? Which the Mod?

Val’s “Do you grok?”? Marquis de Sade? Your dad in Dockers? Aaron’s rod?
Bro: which the Rocker? Which the Mod?

So: which the Rocker? Which the Mod?

John Locke? Joe Cocker? Elle (“The Bod”)? Trump’s stump: “Up, lock ‘er!” F**k that sod!
Whoa! 

(Which the Rocker? Which the Mod?)

The Characteristic Middle Initials of the Occasionally Rich and Moderately Famous: an Open-ended ABC

A: A.  Milne, Y.  Tittle, Desir  Armfeldt, "...Witch  Woman..."
       ^            ^                ^                          ^

B: Louis  Meyer, Alice  Toklas, Cecil  DeMille, Johnny  Goode, Ab  Hoffman 
           ^                 ^                 ^                      ^               ^


C: Jennie  Riley, Arthur  Clarke, W.  Fields, C.  Rider, K.  Jones, M.  Hammer


D: John  Rockefeller, Robert  Nero, Kermit  Frog,


E: Robert  Lee, e.  cummings, John  Depp, Tom  Tomorrow


F: John  Kennedy, William  Buckley, Hugh  Ner


G: Edward  Robinson, Warren  Harding, Geor  Porgey


H: D.  Lawrence, Jesus  Christ!


I: M.  Blue, Dal  Llama


J: Oliver  Dragon, Simple  Malarkey, Lee  Cobb, Stephen  Gould


K: Shai  Ophir, W.  Kellogg


L: John  Lewis, John  Sullivan, L.  Cool-J, L.  Bean


M: I.  Pei, George  Cohan


N: Sgt. Jim  Smithe-Magee, Morg  LeFay, Em  Em


O: David  Selznik, Scarlett  Hara


P: J.  Morgan, I.  Freeley


Q: John  Public, Robert  Lewis, Herr  l'Poirot


R: Edward  Murrow, Babb  the Elephant


S: Ulysses  Grant, B.  Pully


T: P.  Barnum, P.  Green


U: R.  Sleeping, Moon  Zappa


V: Eugene  Debs, Har  Lembeck 


W: George  Bush


X: Francis  Bushman


Y: Hy  d'Andansome, E.  Harburg


Z: Maire  Doats, John  DeLorean

Aesop Channel'd 'n' Chopp'd: Array Seventeen

Commentary to come: a work in progress

Aesop Channel'd 'n' Chopp'd: Array Sixteen

Commentary to come: a work in progress

Aesop Channel'd 'n' Chopp'd: Array Fifteen

Commentary to come: a work in progress

Aesop Channel'd 'n' Chopp'd: Array Fourteen

Commentary to come: a work in progress

Aesop Channel'd 'n' Chopp'd: Array Thirteen

Commentary to come: a work in progress

Aesop Channel'd 'n' Chopp'd: Array Twelve

Commentary to come: a work in progress