Each verse in the
poem below selects
from two to four
beverages ("pick'd
poisons"), the last-
mentioned of which
is always crème de
menthe, then matches
them in several ways
with ten or twelve
celebrities ("paired
personalities"), often
(but not always:
see the last line)
including the tenth
pope called Pius,
while showcasing
various combinations
of end rhymes.
The result is an open-
ended potableoozza
of nectars and
notables designed
both to entertain
and to exercise one's
cultural memory.
Sainte!
(Prelude)
Beer (or wine)
and Gertrude Stein --
whose rose is most surely
a rose --
then wine (or beer)
and Edward Lear --
mit a ring at the end of
his nose...
...plus crème de menthe
mit Pius X.
(1)
A shot 'n' a Bud
mit Captain Blood,
Naomi Judd
and Elmer Fudd.
Compari 'n' soda
mit Val Vigoda,
the Jedi knight Yoda
and Carol Ann Doda.
Kumquat juice
mit Clare Boothe Luce,
Robert the Bruce
and Bullwinkle Moose...
...plus crème de menthe
mit Pius X.
(2)
A lager 'n' lime
mit Helen Grime,
George.Orwell's Syme
and Harpo the mime.
Bathtub gin
mit Sergey Brin,
Anaïs Nin,
Loretta Lynn,
Mark Twain's Huck Finn,
the Mighty Quinn,
Ho Chi Minh
and Rin Tin Tin...
...plus crème de menthe
mit Pius X.
(3)
Muscatel
mit Doctor Bell,
Little Nell
and the underworld's Hel.
Côte du Rhone
mit Titus Groan,
Al Capone
and "Lois Loan."
Earl Grey, hot,
mit Mandelbrot,
Sodom's Lot
and Nietzsche's Gott...
...plus crème de menthe
mit Pius X.
(4)
Cutty, neat,
mit Minos of Crete,
Cody Poteet
and Pistol Pete.
Chardonnay
mit Carla Bley,
Joel Grey,
Doris Day,
Danny Kaye,
Ella Mae,
Martha Raye
and Old Dog Tray...
...plus crème de menthe
mit Pius X.
(5)
A 'tini, stirred,
mit Richard III,
Larry Bird
and Jesus ("The Word")
A pot o' tea
mit Sandra Dee,
Nanny McPhee,
Syngman Rhee,
Samantha Bee,
Kenny G,
Pinky Lee
and Mr. T...
...plus crème de menthe
mit Pius X.
(6)
A Guinness Stout
mit Morse's Grout,
Kilgore Trout
and Dev the mahout.
A whiskey sour
mit Rutger Hauer,
Andre Braugher
and Adenauer,
Marge and Gower,
the Little Flower,
Arthur Lauer
and Tower of Power...
...plus crème de menthe
mit Pius X.
(7)
Absinthe Frappeé
mit Brother Ray,
the Brothers Kray,
Anita O'Day,
Cassius Clay,
Marin Marais,
Turhan Bey,
Anouk Aimee,
Fifi Dorsay,
Dorian Gray,
Francis Lai
and Kitty O'Shea...
...plus crème de menthe
mit Pius X.
(8)
Two fingers of rye
mit Laurie and Frye,
Jasmine Guy
and Louie Nye.
One for the road
mit Woody Strode,
Mr. Toad
and the family Joad.
A pint of your best
mit Christopher Guest,
Ms Mae West
and (surely you've guess'd)...
...plus crème de menthe
mit Pius X.
(9)
A glass of water
mit Gabriel Kotter,
Harry Potter
and Lavransdatter.
A vodka 'n' tonic
mit Harry Connick,
Philip Harmonic
and 16-bit Sonic.
Scotch on the rocks
mit Wally Cox,
Ronald Knox
and Hillary's Socks...
...plus crème de menthe
mit Pius X.
(10)
Plonk over ice
mit Gigi Gryce,
Vincent Price
and Scary Spice.
Hair o' the dog
mit Philleas Fogg,
the OT's Og
and the fire-drake Smaug.
Vin ordinaire
mit Hud from "Hair,"
Philip the Fair
and Sonny sans Cher...
...plus crème de menthe
mit Pius X.
(n)
A four-ale flight
mit Orville Wright,
Horace Heidt
and Honor Bright.
Dry vermouth
mit George ("Babe") Ruth,
Sojourner Truth
and John Wilkes Booth.
A 7 'n' 7
mit cousin Kevin,
Dayna Devon
and Ocean's Eleven...
...plus crème de menthe
mit Pius the nth.
