"Reader, I married him."
So opens the last chapter of Charlotte Brontë's Jane Eyre. Attempting to piggyback on the novel's success, several subsequent authors have begun the final chapters of their own literary efforts by channeling Ms Brontë and paralleling her character's address to readers.
So opens the last chapter of Charlotte Brontë's Jane Eyre. Attempting to piggyback on the novel's success, several subsequent authors have begun the final chapters of their own literary efforts by channeling Ms Brontë and paralleling her character's address to readers.
In X**s, Bl**dy X**s, a memoir of her first solstice spent in the People's House, First Lady Melania Drumpf relates how she discovers the necessity of overriding each and every one of her husband's holiday decorating ideas. In the book's final chapter's opening line, and continuing her unapologetic habit of plagiarizing others' texts, she begins to relate how she pooh-poohs her spouse's insistence on requiring all White House and Cabinet staff to dress in elves outfits laden with gold ornament:
"Reader, I raspberried him."
(More book titles, authors' names and brief synopses of various literary efforts to follow; a work in progress.)
Material for possible future items:
"Reader, ma Mere knee'd him."
"Reader, might Cher bleed him...?"
"Reader, I parried him."
"Reader, I miscarried him."
"Reader, I serried him."
"Reader, I reburied him."
"Reader, I ferried him."
"Reader, I down Derry'd him."
"Reader, I harried him."
"Reader, I Glengarry'd him."
"Reader, I wherried him."
"Reader, I tarried him."
"Reader, I Jim Carrey'd him."
"Reader, I air raid him."
"Reader, I dry sherry'd him."
"Reader, I fair maid him."
"Reader, I knobkerried him."
"Reader, I Fermi'd him."
"Reader, I Hail Mary'd him."
"Reader, I varied him."
"But, Reader, do I dare heed him...?"
