Grilled "Che"s: Another Twelve Iconic Cuban Revolutionaries

     Ur-"Che"

     Iconic Cuban Revolutionary 

Ernesto "Che" Guevara 

     Twelve "Che"quivalents 

    Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Hank Williams Tearjerker 

Your "Che"tin' Heart

    Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Way West

The"Che"solm Trail 

    Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Toddlin' Town 

"Che"cago

 

    Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Chewing Gum

"Che"cklits 

 

   Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Non-Renewable Energy Sources 

Shell Oil, Shale Oil and "Che"le Oil (All "Che"vron Products)

   Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Opening Third Of Railroad Line

The At"Che"son, Topeka and the Santa Fe

  

   Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Velvet Fog Holiday Song Opening Lyric 

"Che"stnuts Roasting On An Open Fire... 

 

   Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Foil-Wrapped Chocolates 

Hers"Che"s Kisses 

   Iconic Vuban Revolutionary Beethoven Buddy 

Carl "C(z)he"rny 

   Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Zola Denunciation 

'"Che"ccuse...!' 

   Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Monopoly Game Cards To Acquire

"Che"nce and Community "Che"st

   Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Monopoly Game Card To Avoid

Go To "Che'ail; Go Directly To "Che"ail (Do Not Pass Go, 

Do Not Collect 200 Pesos)

MAGA Wish Upon A Star; Or, Once Orange Jesus...

Once Orange Jesus gets his way, our lot becomes elite. 

Once we're elite, we march to no egalitarian beat.

Once we're elite, we sucker punch each stable soul we meet...

...nor leave our 6th of January love-in incomplete.

Once Orange J is holdin' sway, our lot becomes elite.

Once we're elite, we exile ev'ry immigrant to Crete.

Once we're elite, we cherish chaff; we 86 our wheat...

...and national abortion bans we -- finally --  complete. 

Once Orange J has had his say, our lot becomes elite. 

Once we're elite, we back the Klan...nor do we need a sheet.

Once we're elite, mass shootings wane (each citizen packs heat)...

...and children see it's fine to be a lyin,' thievin' cheat.

Once Orange J has seized the day, our lot becomes elite.

Males (christian, white and far, far right) shall dwell on Easy Street.

We womanize 'n' chew our plug 'n' chug Wild Turkey neat.

We do all this 'n' more: we be the GOP elite!

"Che"mical Wedding: Another Twelve Iconic Cuban Revolutionaries

      Ur-"Che"

     Iconic Cuban Revolutionary 

Ernesto "Che" Guevara 

     Twelve "Che"quivalents

     Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Final Act Resolution Device 

Deus Ex Ma"Che"na 

     Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Dancing Shark Moll 

"Che"ta Rivera 

     Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Hollywood Simian 

"Che" Fred Muggs 

     Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Rumpolesque Pulp Immortal 

"Che" Who Must Be Obeyed 

     Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Female Tarzan  

"Che"na Queen of the Jungle 

    Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Nihilist 

Frederick Nietz"Che" 

    Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Literary Bedevil'd Soul 

"Che"bez Stone 

     Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Irish Poet 

"Che"mus Heaney 

     Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Hopheads 

"Che"ch & Chong 

     Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Old Bag 

Gu"Che" 

     Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Borscht Belt Regular 

"Che"cky Greene 

     Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Zappa Arabian

"Che"ik Yerbouti 

"Che" Per By The Dozen: Twelve Iconic Cuban Revolutionaries

      Ur-"Che"

     Iconic Cuban Revolutionary 

Ernesto "Che" Guevara 

     Twelve "Che"quivalents

   Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Barber
"Che" van O'Hayerkutt

   Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Recluse
"Che" DeSalinger

   Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Eager Beaver 
"Che" Phinghatt-d'Bitt

  Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Regency Author 
"Che" Naughston

   Iconic Cuban Revolutionary GodMother 
Regina "Che" Lorum

   Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Split Personality Half 
Dr. "Che"kyl

   Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Singing Cowboy 
"Che" Naughtry

  Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Irish Operatic Hero 
Don "Che" O'Vanney

  Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Big Easy Jazz Great 
Sidney Be"Che"

  Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Blonde Bombshell 
"Che"yne Mansfield

  Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Godson 
Al Pa"Che"no

  Iconic Cuban Revolutionary Tycoon
"Che" P. Morgan 

Mondo Moodo Imperativo; Or, Get In The Mood! An Alphabet (With A Codetta)

   In-

dicative, subjunctive, inter-

rogative: three moods. 

   As  

moods grammatical, I'd grade 'em 

"fair."

   When 

task at hand's, tho', grabbin' folks' at-

tention 'n' such, 

   the 

mood imperative just can't com-

pare.

   A-

bandon hope all ye who enter!

Ask the man who owns one!

   Blast off! 

Baciami, bambino! Break a 

leg!

   Cher-

chez la femme! Cut! Curb your pet! Con-

fess! Cross at the light!

   Dive! Di-

vide 'n' conquer! Duck! Don't make me 

beg!

 

   Ex-

eunt! Enter laughing! Eat my 

shorts! En Garde! Enjoy!

   Fug-

gedaboudit! Fear the Turtle! 

Freeze!

   Gag me!

Gent'men...start your engines! Go to 

hell! Gimme a viskey!

   Hi-yo, 

Silver! Help me! Hold the mayo...

...please!

   In-

to the breach once more! Imagine! 

If ya got 'em, smoke 'em!

   Join the 

Navy...(Jump!)...

...and see the world! Just 

do it!

   Kill 'em! 

Katy bar the door! Keep off the 

grass! Kiss me goodbye!

   Laugh, clown, 

laugh! Look out below! Let go! In-

tuit!

   Move it!

Mind the gap! Make mine a double! 

Merge! Mail in your answers!

   No 

swimming! Nota bene! Name that 

tune!

   Out! 

Onward, Christian soldiers! Open 

fire! Off with his head!

   Pass that 

peace pipe! Piss off! Promise her the 

Moon!

 

   Quit 

buggin' me, man! Quote the Bible! 

Quiet your preschooler! 

   Re-

lax! Run for your life! Reach for the 

sky!

   So: 

stop me if you've heard this one! Sell 

short! Stand by your man!

   Tell 'em 

Groucho sent ya! Trim the sideburns! 

Try!

   Up 'n' 

at 'em! Use your freakin' brains! Un-

hand that woman, varlet!

   Ve-

nite adoremus! Vamos! 

Vote!

   Wait, 

Mister Postman! Win with Wilkie! 

Watch your hat and coat!

   Xero-

graph and file each promissory 

note!

 

   Yield to 

traffic in the circle! Yerd 'em! 

Yankee go home!

   Zam-

boni this! Zip-lock your chives...o-

kay!?

   (And  

always, always, always let your 

conscience be your guide!

   Now, 

practice more imperatives...to-

day!

   Stop!

*   *   *   *   * 

   Codetta 

   A- 

rise and walk! Brush 

up your Shakespeare!

Call me Ishma-

el! Do not 

do the Mash'd Po-

tato! Earn your 

keep!

   Feed my 

lambs...! Grow where you're 

planted! Hang 'em 

high! Ice that cham-

pagne! (Return to 

"Feed my lambs" and 

tack on "...Feed my 

sheep!")

   Jump for 

joy! Kill all the 

Reds! Leave it to 

Beaver! Marry 

me! Next, name that 

tune! Off with her 

head! Please, play it, 

Sam!

   Quote the 

Second Book of

Kings! Rinse and re-

peat! Send in the 

clowns! Then, tote that 

barge! (And lift that 

bale!) Up yours, Ma-

dame!

   Visit the 

sick! Wake up and 

smell the coffee!

Xerox your left 

thigh! 

   You had 

better neither 

pout nor shout!  

Zamboni this! 

   Goodbye! 

                                        

BotchuLits For Dummies: A Tutorial

Now even you can compose a BotchuLit, the exciting new three-line verse form created by Windy City sonneteer GFH which is taking America's erudite counties (both of 'em) by storm. Just follow the steps listed below.

 
(1) Select a line or phrase from a well-known work of literature -- prose or poetry, fiction or non-, in English or another language. Any such line or phrase will do, though opening lines are preferred. 
(2) Next, compose an anagram using all the letters of the first line and only them. 
(3) Compose a third line of any length to wrap-up the first two.

(4) Compose an appropriate title.

(5) (Optional) Compose your Nobel Prize for Literature acceptance speech.

 
Example:

  
(1) Call me Ishmael. (Opening line of Moby Dick)
(2) I.e., Clamshell, Ma. (Anagram on line one) 
(3) And brother Queequeg christen Dingo Egg. (Wrap-up) 

(4) Mother Melville 

The BotchuLit 

 

Mother Melville 

Call me 'Ishmael,'
i.e., 'Clamshell,' Ma...
...and brother Queequeg christen 'Dingo Egg.' 

Borrownyms For Dummies: A Tutorial

The borrownym is a series of stanzas each of which consists of three pentameter lines. The first line of each stanza is identical or nearly so to some well-known line of canonical poetry. Each of the five accented syllables of its second line rhyme with the five accented syllables of the opening line in order. Its last line’s final accented syllable rhymes with the end rhymes of the first two and scans similarly as they to supply a nonsense summary.

Example:  

(1) Opening line: 

A loaf      of bread,    a jug       of wine    and thou 

long o     short e       short u     long i          ow

(2) Line two with rhyming strong syllables: 

A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou 

on sofa bed we snuggle, kleine frau. 

(3)  Line three with end rhyme: 

From purse of silk we’ll fashion ear of sow.

(4 ) Thus the first stanza of this borronym: 

A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou

on sofa bed we snuggle, Kleine Frau:

from purse of silk we fashion ear of sow. 

(5) Stanza two of this borrownym: 

Come, fill the cup, and in the fire of spring...

(Don't spill! Heads up, you pinhead: wire and string
won't help! First, set aside your teething ring!) 

...and so on. 

Bananagrams For Dummies: A Tutorial

The bananagram, a verse form of Ulysses Poe's own invention, is a poetic elaboration upon a single word, the so-called spring word, which functions as a partial, near- or quasi anagram in that numbers of smaller words can be spelt using one or more of its letters. These single words, so-called sub-words or seed words, are then used as end rhymes in the lines of an extended poetic composition, the final word of which is the spring word.

Example:

 
(1) The spring word: M A C H I N E 

(2) A partial list of seed words derived from the spring word:

Ham, came, am, name, Che, "Ni," CIA, me...

 
(3) The bananagram:

 
Though he claimed, “I’m descended from Ham,”
as he conquered and saw and then came,
he’s descended from Eve, like I am.
Still, I fear I’ve forgotten his name.
   Next, he chanted, “I’m Cuban, like Che.
And you’re right: I’m like knights who says “Ni.”
(I suspect the guy’s gay, or is ex-CIA
on a visit -- or is it just me…?)...

(And so on for, in the case of this example's final form, a total of 60 lines) 

The split bananagram is similar to the bananagram except that every other end-rhymed line uses a word derived from the poem’s spring word.

Mageeks For Dummies: A Tutorial

The Mageek begins with an anagram pair and develops from there ala Ogden Nash, arriving finally at a rhyming couplet.    

To create one, first select a subject -- a book, a celebrity, a famous town etc. Second, build a matching anagram by rearranging the letters of the subject selected to form another word, clause or phrase to follow the subject. Together the subject and its anagram line form an opening clause or phrase. Third, compose a line to rhyme with that opening clause or phrase -- ideally one of some length -- as a colloquy on the opening subject/anagram pair.

Example I:

 
(1) Select a subject:

 
The Iliad 

(2a) Build its anagram:

  

THEILIAD

HAITLIED

(2b) Form the opening phrase: 

The Iliad...? Ha! It lied. 

(3) Compose a rhyming line: 

        

‘Twas young Hektor who thrived; 

'twas Achilles who (Homer sang) died. 

(4) Voila! A Mageek! 

The Iliad...? Ha! It lied:

'Twas young Hector who thrived and Achilles who (Home sang) died. 

(As is seen in this example, a mageek 

may not always reflect reality.) 

Example II:

 

The Odyssey doth (yes, yes!)
tells us more about Homer than ill-inform’d readers might guess. 

Hymn To Him: A MAGAn Love Song

Our Deity's Donald M. Drumpf.
(The middle M stands for 'Mendacity.')
How we love each contemptuous "Hrrrumpfff,"
ev'ry Drumpfish disdain for veracity! 

   Lord Drumpf's a perpetual liar.

(Did we mention M'Lord's middle name...?)

In the Oval, Drumpf's pants were on fire.

Now He's out, He rekindles that flame.

   D. M. Drumpf's a Despiser of Women.

(Indeed, M's also short for 'Misogyny,'

a perfection applying to Him 'n' 

ev'ry one of His chauvinist progeny. 

   But mostly that M stands for 'Misanthrope,' 

the Drumpf "asspect" we most highly rate. 

Will we ever abandon or diss Him...? Nope, 

for He hates all the same stuff we hate. 

Speak Absurdish! A Tutorial

Preparing Your Text

(1) Begin by setting out consonants in some regular order -- e.g., standard alphabetical ( b, c, d, f, g...), reverse (z, x, w, v...), alternating between front and back (b, z, c, x, d, w...), center-outward alternating (m, n, l, p, k...) -- or in any desired pattern. Repeat the series as necessary, depending on the proposed length of the text being created -- whether a poetic motto or slogan, a distich or quatrain...or a brief prose epic.

 
(2) Next, insert vowels -- the standard five or the series augmented with 'y' -- in between the consonants at regular or randomly selected intervals, repeating the series as the length of the proposed work proves necessary. Occasionally, double a vowel -- especially the e and the o.
  
(3) Add spaces between word-like letter sequences to form nonsense words. For nonsense verse, the implicit accents of these words should ideally imply some regular meter or other.

  
(4) To demonstrate erudition (genuine or otherwise), introduce diacritical marks -- foreign accents, umlauts etc. -- by replacing selected characters with marked alternates. Disregard the actual linguistic import of such marks.

 
(5) Liberally distribute caps and punctuation at random throughout to establish additional rhythm pattern and meta-meaning.

(6) Attach a fanciful title -- in English (a translation, perhaps...?) and as non-sequiturish as possible, in order to introduce more -- though ultimately meaningless, of course -- connotation.

Examples 

(1) 
bcdfghjklmnpqrstvwxzbcdf...

 
(2a) 
b c d f g h j k l m n p q r s t v w x z... 

              ^   ^   ^   ^   ^   ^   

            aeiouyaeiouyaeiouyaei...

(2b)
b a c e d i f o g u h a j e k i l o m u n a p e q i r o o s u t a v e w i x o y u z b a c...

(3) 
bac edi fogu hajek ilo muna peqiroo sut ave wixo yuz... 

(4) (The keyboard I'm using doesn't provide for alternate characters. Be sure to secure one which does.) 

(5) 
Bac edi -- fogu...?  Hajek ilo muna (peqiroo sut) ave: Wixo yuz!

(6a)

 
Palimpsest 
 
Bac edi -- fogu...? Hajek ilo mun-  *  *  *  *  -a (peqiro sut) 'ave: wix...oyuz!
 
(N.B.: Inserted asterisks indicate missing or illegible text 
in an imagined original.)

(6b) The following is a recent couplet composed by a beginning composition student of Uly Poe's, young Smig E. ("The Jet Man") Smig:

 
Distichy Wicket
 
Malnek pi joquhr, gasfet divoc: wub xayzee:
bad eg, "Jilno qu..." Syvax zec -- fhik! -- mo prutwy!

 
(a work in progress)