Borrownyms For Dummies: A Tutorial

The borrownym is a series of stanzas each of which consists of three pentameter lines. The first line of each stanza is identical or nearly so to some well-known line of canonical poetry. Each of the five accented syllables of its second line rhyme with the five accented syllables of the opening line in order. Its last line’s final accented syllable rhymes with the end rhymes of the first two and scans similarly as they to supply a nonsense summary.

Example:  

(1) Opening line: 

A loaf      of bread,    a jug       of wine    and thou 

long o     short e       short u     long i          ow

(2) Line two with rhyming strong syllables: 

A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou 

on sofa bed we snuggle, kleine frau. 

(3)  Line three with end rhyme: 

From purse of silk we’ll fashion ear of sow.

(4 ) Thus the first stanza of this borronym: 

A loaf of bread, a jug of wine and thou

on sofa bed we snuggle, Kleine Frau:

from purse of silk we fashion ear of sow. 

(5) Stanza two of this borrownym: 

Come, fill the cup, and in the fire of spring...

(Don't spill! Heads up, you pinhead: wire and string
won't help! First, set aside your teething ring!) 

...and so on. 

Bananagrams For Dummies: A Tutorial

The bananagram, a verse form of Ulysses Poe's own invention, is a poetic elaboration upon a single word, the so-called spring word, which functions as a partial, near- or quasi anagram in that numbers of smaller words can be spelt using one or more of its letters. These single words, so-called sub-words or seed words, are then used as end rhymes in the lines of an extended poetic composition, the final word of which is the spring word.

Example:

 
(1) The spring word: M A C H I N E 

(2) A partial list of seed words derived from the spring word:

Ham, came, am, name, Che, "Ni," CIA, me...

 
(3) The bananagram:

 
Though he claimed, “I’m descended from Ham,”
as he conquered and saw and then came,
he’s descended from Eve, like I am.
Still, I fear I’ve forgotten his name.
   Next, he chanted, “I’m Cuban, like Che.
And you’re right: I’m like knights who says “Ni.”
(I suspect the guy’s gay, or is ex-CIA
on a visit -- or is it just me…?)...

(And so on for, in the case of this example's final form, a total of 60 lines) 

The split bananagram is similar to the bananagram except that every other end-rhymed line uses a word derived from the poem’s spring word.

Mageeks For Dummies: A Tutorial

The Mageek begins with an anagram pair and develops from there ala Ogden Nash, arriving finally at a rhyming couplet.    

   To create one, first select a subject -- a book, a celebrity, a famous town etc. Second, build a matching anagram by rearranging the letters of the subject selected to form another word, clause or phrase to follow the subject. Together the subject and its anagram line form an opening clause or phrase. Third, compose a line to rhyme with that opening clause or phrase -- ideally one of some length -- as a colloquy on the opening subject/anagram pair.

Example I:

 
(1) Select a subject:

 
The Iliad 

(2a) Build its anagram:

  

THEILIAD

HAITLIED

(2b) Form the opening phrase: 

The Iliad...? Ha! It lied. 

(3) Compose a rhyming line: 

        

‘Twas young Hektor who thrived; 

'twas Achilles who (Homer sang) died. 

(4) Voila! A Mageek! 

The Iliad...? Ha! It lied:

'Twas young Hector who thrived

and Achilles who (Home sang) died. 

     (As can be seen in this example, 

a mageek may not alwaays reflect reality.) 

Example II:

 

The Odyssey doth (yes, yes!)
tells us more about Homer than 
uninform’d readers might guess. 

Hymn To Him: A MAGAn Love Song

Our Deity's Donald M. Drumpf.
(The middle M stands for 'Mendacity.')
How we love each contemptuous "Hrrrumpfff,"
ev'ry Drumpfish disdain for veracity! 

   Lord Drumpf's a perpetual liar.

(Did we mention M'Lord's middle name...?)

In the Oval, Drumpf's pants were on fire.

Now He's out, He rekindles that flame.

   D. M. Drumpf's a Despiser of Women.

(Indeed, M's also short for 'Misogyny,'

a perfection applying to Him 'n' 

ev'ry one of His chauvinist progeny. 

   But mostly that M stands for 'Misanthrope,' 

the Drumpf "asspect" we most highly rate. 

Will we ever abandon or diss Him...? Nope, 

for He hates all the same stuff we hate. 

Speak Absurdish! A Tutorial

Preparing Your Text

(1) Begin by setting out consonants in some regular order -- e.g., standard alphabetical ( b, c, d, f, g...), reverse (z, x, w, v...), alternating between front and back (b, z, c, x, d, w...), center-outward alternating (m, n, l, p, k...) -- or in any desired pattern. Repeat the series as necessary, depending on the proposed length of the text being created -- whether a poetic motto or slogan, a distich or quatrain...or a brief prose epic.

 
(2) Next, insert vowels -- the standard five or the series augmented with 'y' -- in between the consonants at regular or randomly selected intervals, repeating the series as the length of the proposed work proves necessary. Occasionally, double a vowel -- especially the e and the o.
  
(3) Add spaces between word-like letter sequences to form nonsense words. For nonsense verse, the implicit accents of these words should ideally imply some regular meter or other.

  
(4) To demonstrate erudition (genuine or otherwise), introduce diacritical marks -- foreign accents, umlauts etc. -- by replacing selected characters with marked alternates. Disregard the actual linguistic import of such marks.

 
(5) Liberally distribute caps and punctuation at random throughout to establish additional rhythm pattern and meta-meaning.

(6) Attach a fanciful title -- in English (a translation, perhaps...?) and as non-sequiturish as possible, in order to introduce more -- though ultimately meaningless, of course -- connotation.

Examples 

(1) 
bcdfghjklmnpqrstvwxzbcdf...

 
(2a) 
b c d f g h j k l m n p q r s t v w x z... 

              ^   ^   ^   ^   ^   ^   

            aeiouyaeiouyaeiouyaei...

(2b)
b a c e d i f o g u h a j e k i l o m u n a p e q i r o o s u t a v e w i x o y u z b a c...

(3) 
bac edi fogu hajek ilo muna peqiroo sut ave wixo yuz... 

(4) (The keyboard I'm using doesn't provide for alternate characters. Be sure to secure one which does.) 

(5) 
Bac edi -- fogu...?  Hajek ilo muna (peqiroo sut) ave: Wixo yuz!

(6a)

 
Palimpsest 
 
Bac edi -- fogu...? Hajek ilo mun-  *  *  *  *  -a (peqiro sut) 'ave: wix...oyuz!
 
(N.B.: Inserted asterisks indicate missing or illegible text 
in an imagined original.)

(6b) The following is a recent couplet composed by a beginning composition student of Uly Poe's, young Smig E. ("The Jet Man") Smig:

 
Distichy Wicket
 
Malnek pi joquhr, gasfet divoc: wub xayzee:
bad eg, "Jilno qu..." Syvax zec -- fhik! -- mo prutwy!

 
(a work in progress)

Runcibl'd Spoonerisms For Dummies: A Tutorial

A spoonerism results when a pair of vowels, consonants or morphemes in two syllables or words of a phrase or clause are transposed, creating a second phrase or clause with a different, often comic, meaning. A runcibl'd spoonerism results when each of the two components of the spoonerism (which may rhyme) is preceded by a definition, which two definitions do rhyme. Thus, a runcibl'd spoonerism takes the form of the statement of a proportion similar to 'a' : 'b' :: 'c' : 'd,' where 'a' defines the phrase or clause 'b,' 'c' defines the phrase or clause 'd,' and where 'a' and 'c' rhyme. (In the example below, the two elements themselves of the spoonerism feature an eye rhyme.) 

An example 

('a') Sphynx's riddle...? Snare for fools : 
('b') Pyramids at Giza ::
('c') pepperoni plopp'd near tools :

('d') gear (amid sat pizza)

Another example 

Oz is nice, tho' not this season : 

No place like home ::

Bloody Christ! This joint is freezin'! :

Whole place...? Like Nome 

     Moral:

Don't twisters ride; 

it's cold outside. 

     (A tornado or "twister," of course transports Dorothy to Oz in the Baum classic.)

The second example above is supplemented by a kind of coda, a rhyming couplet, vaguely or tightly attached to the spoonerism, which adds a colloquy or moral message to it.

     An indeterminate number of runcibl'd spoonerisms in series, not necessarily thematically related to one another, are termed a spoondoolix. 

Prosopogostichs For Dummies; A Tutorial

Prosogostichs is the name assigned to the lines, most 

often eight in number, which form a verse parodying 

some limerick-like lines by the poet Edward Lear. The 

verse's opening line, in dactyls as are all the lines, 

mimics the opening line of that poet's "How pleasant 

to know Mr. Lear," substituting the name of the subject 

of the new prosopogostichs for that of the fictionalized 

poet. The remainder of the poem goes on to portray 

aspect(s) of the life and/or character of the subject. 

The rhyme scheme of the stanza is either AbababAb, 

where the seventh line is virtually identical to the first, 

or AaaaaaAa in the case of a rigorously rhyming set of 

prosopogostichs, wherein all the lines rhyme and the 

opening and seventh lines again are virtually identical.

An example 

     Prosopogostichs On Kamala Harris

Not unpleasant to know...? Mrs. Harris.

From another Drumpf term may she spare us!

Unlike Drumpf, she would never embarrass

the U.S. in Beijing, Perth or Paris.

With her jubilant smile matic- charis,

of Joe Biden's agenda she's heiress.

This most-pleasant-to-know Mrs. Harris

is (Confess!) your progressive Polaris. 

WoLaLys For Dummies: A Tutorial

(Various new poetic forms -- i.e., the woLaLy, the to-’n’-froLaly, the mageek, the prosopogostichs, the bananagraffe and its split variant, the borrownym, the fauxmophone, the fifteener, the botchuLit, the haikucento, the runcibl'd spoonerism, the NightM.A.R.E. and the eclipsogram -- will be explained in a series of tutorials beginning with the one for the woLaLy appearing below.) 

* * * * *

 
The woLaLy aka the word ladder lyric begins with the construction of a word ladder string. A word ladder is a sequence of words in which each word changes a single letter to form the word following it and in which the first and the last word have some interesting semantic relationship.  For the woLaLy a sequence is selected for having as many as possible if not all of its items rhyming pairs (or triplets), or one allowing such pairs (or triplets) to be constructed.

An example

REAL>>>FAKE 
 
REAL>SEAL>SEAS>SETS>METS>MATS>

MATE>SATE>SAME>LAME>LAKE>FAKE

real seal (seas) 

sets Mets

(mats) mate sate
same lame
lake fake

After selecting a word ladder sequence, a poem is composed in rhyming couplets (or triolets). Those words having no accompanying rhymes shall be incorporated into the interior of one line or another that positions them between the two items they fall between in the original string.

 
Another example

     Real Fake 

I favor animals who're real --
the manatee, the leopard seal --
who swim the seas in matching sets 
but won't bat cleanup for the Mets
or steal the mats of someone's mate,
their mattress hankerings to sate.
I hope my readers feel the same,
nor don't construe my notions lame.
(The animal whose home's a lake
I don't consider real, but fake.)  

Body Cam Blues

What's the need to snap a pic
once coppers some escapees nick...?
Just mount 'em, trophy-buck style, 'top
a squad car for the photo op.
Or hang them fellows by the knees,
strung up like marlins in the Keys...?
When won't cops show, all ways they can,
man's inhumanity to man...? 

Bard's Cards; or, Shakespeare: The Hallmark Years

Britain's greatest dramatist honed his writing chops by 

penning quatrains for wry Elizabethan epistolarians. 

     Baby shower / new mom 

Love looks not with the eye but with the mind.

That diaper's full: Bambo thy bairn's behind!

     Sympathy / cellmate  

The better part of valor is discretion.

Consider my lips sealed re thy obsession.   

     Nth invoice / chronic deadbeat 
Neither a borrower nor a lender be. 
The final nail: now, forthwith, mail my fee! 

     Breakup / unisex 

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day...? 

Thou lazy, hazy, crazy art, okay...?

    Prenup congrats / sister-in-law 

Soft! what light through yonder window breaks...? 

Thou art engaged...? Let's hope this time it takes.

     Get well / favorite aunt 

To be, or not to be, that is the question.

Thy cancer diagnosis...? Indigestion. 

      Merry Xmas / juvenile

Once more unto the breach, dear friend, once more. 

I hope Claus gifts thee all thou bargain'd for. 

     Retirement / office colleague 

Methinks I am a prophet new inspired. 

Thy job's offshore...? Give thanks thou art retired. 

     Belated birthday / nephew 

Make me a willow cabin at your gate

so next year's gift buck won't arrive so late.      

     Pre-op wish / ex-spouse 

The quality of mercy is not strain'd.

Thou'll breathe far better with thy sinus drain'd. 

     Ash Wednesday / former pastor 

Now's the winter of our discontent.

I would thee reap a more repentant Lent. 

     New Year's / MAGA uncle 

Is this a dagger which I see before me...?

Happy New Year! (Hope next term's less stormy.)

Mum

Use silent 'a' when spelling 'bread.'

(Though ought it not be 'bred' instead...? 

And, as a rule, with bred come crumbs, 

tho' one's deem'd "fool" who spells 'em 'crums.')

     A pair of sissors -- sans a 'c'-- 

should snip as surely, seems to me,

on Wenesday as the day before.

(This seems a take on "Less Is More.")

     'Lov' fares fine without an 'e' --

though Indiana'd* disagree.

(I can no silent-'f' words find.

To further search I'm disinclined.)

     *"Love" series pop artist Robert Indiana