"There once was a Jew name o' Jesus..." Fools for Gods: Religious Figures in Limericks (from What A's Not For)

There once was a Jew name o' Jesus
who kept sep'rate his meat from his cheeses.
Said this Naz, "Give the Lord
all that thou canst afford.
Give the king all the bling that be Caesa's."

There once was a Meccan -- Mohammed.
Friends wrote down stuff Moh said, 'cuz Moh stamm'ed.
"Gi-...gi-...give alms,"Moh'd say.
"Pray fi-...five times each day!
"De-...decap each cha-...chap who's ha-...hamm'ed."

'Midst Egyptian-born Juden lived Moses
who deemed one god "mui big quelque chose." Is
that stone tablet Mose shows
proving fruitful...? God knows!
(Re the seventeen typos: were those his...?)

A Hindu, Siddhartha Gautama,
was a fan of both Sramma and Brahma.
(Siddh's statues, you'll notice,
show Siddh in Full Lotus
and, often, without his pajama.) 

A Latter-Day Saint known as Smith
judged monogamous marriage "a myth."
Thirty women Smith wived.
In such style, Smitty thrived.
(On his death bed, Smith pleaded the fi'th.) 

In his youth, Mrs. Luther's boy Martin
Catholicity hadn't his heart in.
First, he's dissing the Pope,
with whom Marty can't cope. 
Next, a brand-new religion Mart's startin.' 

Have you heard of the Puritan Fox,
a Dissenter clear down to his socks...?
George makes oodles of Friends
as his way west George wends.
(That ain't George on your cereal box.)

People chastise the Calvinist John,
who was born in the town of Noyon:
"You twee textual critic: 
you're anti-Semitic!
What's more, you abhor the Qur'an!"

What a grim Graham cracker was Billy,
panning predestination so shrilly.
Now Bill's gone to his rest.
Will God yell, "Ya'll de best!"...?
Or will Will's welcome prove a tad chilly...?