Beyond Apples (A Nonsense ABC)

An apple, they say,
if ingested each day,
travels out of its way
to keep doctors at bay.

Keeping other professionals
out of one's hair
calls for alternate flora --
some, specimens rare.

Sundry veggies, fresh fruits
plus a fungus or two:
'prophylactical pommes."
(Aren't you due for a few?)

An artichoke dip
gives attorneys the slip.
A beetroot ragout
bids one's banker adieu.
Can't a cantaloupe tell
CEOs: "Go to hell"?
Do not damson plums shout,
"Dentist! Outta my mout'!"?

Curly endive tells en-
trepreneurs: "Get thee gone!"
Fresh fennel informs
financiers: "Follow norms!"
Garden greens, gently toss'd
order gen'rals: "Get lost!"
Meanwhile, haricot verts
warn head chefs: "Don't you dare."

An ice plant postpones
each investor who phones.
Sev'ral jackfruits impede
a chief justice's greed.
Can a kumquat prevent
Ku Klux Klansmen't intent?
Yes, and lychees deter
a librarian's slur.

A mango may stymie
the manager slimy.
Ripe nectarines thwart 
nurse's aides out of court.
Sweet onions will hound
obstetricians, I've found,
plus, a passion fruit wraps
up political chaps. 

A quince circumscribes 
vulgar quilt stuffers' gibes.
Raw rhubarb espies 
ev'ry repo man's guise.
One strawberry stops
senatorial fops,
and a turnip precludes
telemarketing dudes.

An ugli prevents 
most used-car-dealing gents.
Vanilla beans queer 
vets from bending your ear.
Wet watercress halts
all a webmaster's faults,
while a xiqua impedes
errant X-men's misdeeds.

A yam interferes 
with most yard engineers.
A zucchini denies 
zealous zinc-plating guys.

Produce, sun-dried or fresh.
None from concentrate...nu?
(And an apple a day 
still tells MDs: "F.U.!")