"Spent a snootiful day in the NATOhood..." The Artful Dodger's Stumping (sic) Grounds or Post-Summit Ally Quest: Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

Spent a snootiful day in the NATOhood.
But I moot just with allies who’re great…so: could
Jong Un be mine?
(A goon? Nein! Nein!)

As my high jinks dehydrate the North Atlant-,
shall with Turks I empartner? Merks won't -- or can’t --
fall into line.
(Pal Pu’d be fine.)

We've not a thing to fear 
from Kim or Vladimir.
I’ve plumbed their eyes: each guy’s “so-o-o-o nize,” 
insisting he’s sincere.

Always “booty”ful, looting one’s neighbor’s ‘hood.
Trading treaties won’t do. Rattling sabers should.
So: Kim! So: Vlad! Emerge a lad!
And say you’ll be my neighbor!


Explication: 

Artful Dodger: a Dickens character, the Dodger leads a gang of child criminals
Snooty: showing arrogance or contempt
Moot: to raise a subject for discussion
North Atlant-: short for North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO to you) 
Turks: Turkey's president Erdogan. dictator. and his like-minded cronies 
Merks: German chancellor Angela Merkel, democratic leader
Pu: Russian president Vladimir Putin, autocratic dictator
Kim: North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, autocratic dictator
Plumb: to measure the depth of
"Booty"ful: profitable, especially in ill-gotten gains
Saber rattling: war mongering; the display of military force
Emerge a lad!: Be a guy! Be a pal!