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Friday, August 3, 2018

Notable Nobs Not Unpleasant To Know: Letters H, I & J

In his nonsense verse “How pleasant to know Mr. Lear,” the popularizer of the limerick makes amusing observations about himself. Below readers are urged to discover some equally intriguing characters who, it’s hoped, will prove as well “not unpleasant to know.”


     Not un- 
pleasant to know? Blind bard Homer.
     With some 
quill he had, penned he the Iliad?
     Nope! That 
Homer wrote Greek's a misnomer:
     sang he 
Greek! (As for lit'racy, nil he had.)
     His U-
lysses? No sissy! A roamer!
     His A-
chilles? In fin, just some silly lad
     suff'ring 
athlete's foot. (Thus prescribes Homer:
     "To heal 
heels, take, with meals, balm from Gilead!"

     Not un-
pleasant to know: those bros Howard.*
     With wit 
Fine,** as The Stooges they flowered. 
     Moe played 
bully to brother Shemp's coward
     as all 
three would race steadily row-ward.
     But, though 
famed from King County to Broward,***
     all their  
slapstick eventu'lly soured, 
     as did 
Shemp, Moe (and Curly Joe) Howard.
     (Begs the 
quest: had no Stooge never showered?)

     Not un- 
 pleasant to know: Zinken Hopp.* 
     Avid 
fans of her fancies are legion:
     the gal 
translated Carroll: full stop! 
     (Need we 
add it was into Norwegian?) 
     She'd ne'er 
sashayed near Cheshire nor Shrop-
     shire, yet 
walked the Carrollian walk --
     talked the 
talk, too, did pleasant Ms. Hopp
     (As can 
youse, if you use "Magic Chalk.")  
     * A nom de plume of Signe Marie Brochmann

     Not un- 
pleasant to know: Mr. Hoskyns,* 
     him who 
fashioned the famed hircocervus
     "Trusty 
Servant," bedecked in bourgeois skins.
     (Would to 
goodness we'd sev’ral to serve us.) 
     Like ga-
loots wearing boots in a mosque ins-
     ta-
-bilitate status quo ante,
     not-un-
pleasant-to-know Mr. Hoskyns
     (what 
a wit!) out-“Commedia”s Dante.
     * Sir John Hoskins (or Hoskyns)

     Not un- 
pleasant to know: Ionesco,*
     a Thé-
-âtre d'l'Absurde sort of fellow.
     Had he 
now-dead accomplices? Yes: co-
     con-
spirator L. Pirandello. 
     Nonsense 
fan: come in, man, from the fresco!
     Take a 
chair,** stroll the air,** meet some rhinos...** 
     and the 
pleasant-to-know Ionesco.
     Are there 
laughs to be had? Alpha Psi***** knows.  
     * Eugene Ionesco
     ** A list of Ionesco’s works will include “The Chairs,” “Stroll in the Air” and “Rhinoceros.”

     Not in-
pleasant to know: Lady Florence. 
     A new 
flick Flo's fame's quickly enhancing. 
     From her 
throat soar sour notes (Tally? Torrents),
     sung to 
scores spoofing sores someone's lancing.
     She'd out-
grabe e'en Arabian Lawrence.
     (Apro-
pos, this film shows Hugh Grant dancing.)
     "I did 
sing," sighs the fly Lady Florence,
     "even 
though doubters crowed that I can't sing."

     Not un- 
pleasant to know: Mr. Joyce,* 
     whose U-
lysses runs deep, I confess. 
     He em-
ploys stream-of-consciousness voice,
    so what's
said's really anyone's guess.
     English
majors, though, haven't a choice:
     on through
Jim's ersatz Homer they press,
     fin'lly
coming to terms with James Joyce
     once they
read Molly's "...yes I will yes..."
     * James Joyce

     Not un- 
pleasant to know: Mr. Jarry* --
     plays pro-
vocateur, plying his Ubu.
     Though the 
bourgeoisie bellow "How dare he!" 
     I (for 
one) withold "boo"s: Why must you boo? 
     Does he 
die an old sage? Au contraire: he
     dies a 
youth, begging, "Lend me your toothpick," 
     does the 
pleasant-to-know Mr. Jarry...
     and, for-
sooth, remains avant garde youth pick. 
     * Alfred Jarry 

     Not un-
pleasant to know: Jacques Tati*...
     ak-
-a Mr. Hulot to you lot.
     Does he 
die a pro rugger...? Not he...
     much pre-
ferring his role as Le Fool -- not...
     that "Le 
Tät" appears foolish to me:
     Zut! I've 
screen'd his Mon Oncle five times...
     each time 
laughing along with Tati...
     (though un-
earthing, for 'Hulot,' few rhymes).
 
     * Born Jacques Tatischeff

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