For ABC

A's for a fistful of dolors.* B is for Bette** or for worse.
C is "...for cryin' out loud, Señor!” D’s for a Ford four-door'd hearse."***

     * Seven's the traditional number.
     ** The Divine Ms. Midler 
     *** From zero to sixty in 7.2 stanzas

E is forensic pathology. F's four fifths gin, four fifths Jello.*
G is forgettin' the cadmium yellow. For Herr J's** a jolly good fellow!

     * Eight fifths? Pluperfect! 
     ** Not to be confused with artist Herge, Tintin's creator. 

I? "For it's one...two...it's three strikes..." (Your route?*) J is for Jonson,** the playwright.
K is forklifting each fork from the road. L is for love of the (day)light.

     * Rt. 1, the Mother Road.
     ** Ben, a Renaissance drama king.

M is for me, my RC and my gal.* N is for none of th'above.
O is for once – just this once -- in my life. P's "For Pete's sake, Guv, don't shove!"**

     * I.e., my four-quart growler of Rodenbach (Grand) Cru. 
     ** There's always plenty to go 'round.

Q is for Queen. (And for Country!)* R is for rent, sale or lease.
S is "For such is the King Dome** of heaven." T's for the secret police.**

     * I.e., for Freddie Mercury and Joe McDonald
     * Or, through October 16, 2011, the True F. Luck Gallery.
     ** One hopes they’ll not need to become involved.

U is "For unto us children are born..." V is for very low cost.
W?* "For Whom the Bell Tolls." (‘Tis for thee.) X is for Xenofrost, gloss’d.**

     * 'W' is pronounced in two syllables, as 'Dub-ya' -- remember?
     ** Some mss show 'toss'd' here; others. 'lost.' A distinction without a difference? Perhaps.

Y is for your eyes, a loan. Z is Forza del Destino.
& is for ampersands, naturellement…and my final denoumentarino.