That'll Be the Day

'Twill dawn, and soon, 
a day whose noon -- 'tis true! --
sees Athlone Wood 
advance on Yeat's Coole;*
when I, beknownst to few, 
shall bid "Adoo!" -- 
when combs un-tissu'd 
out-zizz my kazoo
and when that dome at Gol Gumbaz** 
shan't do. 
     * In an Irish send-up of the Scottish play 
     ** The mausoleum of Mohammad Adil Shah 
and not to be confused with Golgotha (the Skull)

When Ethan Frome 
abandons red for blue;*
when froths of foam fail -- fie! -- 
to frappe my brew;**
when genome maps may 
make a meme of you,
and home no longer 
lures the Wand'ring Jew...
...when we In Rome 
shall do as Romans do. 
     * The Wharton novel is rife with red items, 
each toting its symbolic load.
     ** "Just a finger of froth as I finish a few," 
whistles the Sarge -- that's Sgt. N. ("Jim") 
Smithe-Magee (the N stands for 'Nonsense') 
from out of this blizzard of f-initialed words.

Yeah, that'll be the day --
you bet your boo! --
Jerome Jerome shall drift downstream 
with two;*
and when 'ein Kaum' to Klauses** 
means "ka-choo!"
When loam's allow'd 
in Chef Pepin's fondue
and mome Red Pandas 
shall outgribe in lieu.***
     * Jerome K. Jerome's best known novel r
emains Three Men in a Boat. 
     ** A colloquialism for Germans in 
Portuguese-speaking countries 
     *** In lieu, i.e., of the mome raths which 
nonsense lovers may have come to expect.

One day when Nome 
shall top a 102*
while "Om...!" alone's 
a way to say "Mon Dieu!"
When po'ms like this 
aren't drafted in the loo
and 'quo'm' stands not for 
'quorum' but for 'Whe-e-ew!'...
...and roamin' 'round the world-wide web's 
all through...** 
     * To date the high temp record in Nome 
is '68's 86 (or was that the other way around); 
but, hey: the climate's changing, isn’t it...? 
     ** Such might well prove disasterous for 
Sarge's poetry.

...'n' Soames takes trips 
and tries a toke or two.*
When tomes place terms like 
'uome' 'n' 'vome' on view --
when 'waume,' 'xome,' 'yeaum' 'n' 'zhome' 
appear per u.**:
yep, that'll be the day, alright, 
when you --
with me, in Rome -- 
shall do as Romans do. 
     * This particular Forsyte, of Saga fame, 
stands as a literary paragon of respectability. 
     ** As per usual, as a matter of course, 
in the common run of things, and so forth...