One Fine Day on the Stump in 2016...Plus More Eggcentricity

I'm Donald Trump!

I love the stump.
Just hear 'em trump-
-et: "Donald Trump!"
They cheer me, pump-
-in' up The Trump. 
My pitch…? I'm rich!  
I'm Donald Trump!

In Iowa,
sure, Donald’s slumpin.'
Second place, though,
ain't no thumpin.'
Still, for Scott I'll
not be plumpin.'
(Later, Walker'll
be a Trump'un.)


I cherish strump-
-ets: wed me three!*
And crumpets ('cuz I'm
Trump) love me.
(No lie! Der Trump-
ster loves to hump!
But don't "Har-r-r-rump'!"
He’s Donald Trump.)
 
     * The premiere Trump…? 
Ivana Trump. A one-time Trump 
was Marla Trump. The current 
Trump's Melania Trump. (And 
not one Mrs. Trump's a frump!)

I'm Donald Trump!
I love my hair,
the flaxen clump
I wear up there.
That golden "sump-
-thin'" makes 'em stare.
Still, I'm no chump:
I'm Donald Trump!

I love the Jews:
my daughter's one.
I'm Netanyahu's
unsung son.
And, when I can,
I'll bomb Iran.
No Forrest Gump:
I'm Donald Trump!

I love the spicks,
those rapist dicks!
I love the blacks
despite their lacks.
I love the hicks;
I love their PACS
(though most are pricks
and all are hacks).

I'm not a Lib!
I'm not a Tea!
I'm worth ten billion
with a 'B'!
The GOP…?
They're piss’d at me.
Their queues I jump!
I'm Donald Trump!

I'll build a wall --
muy mucho tall --
to nix the spicks.
And that ain't all:
I'll get those spicks
to pay for bricks.
Fuck Forrest Gump!
I'm Donald Trump!

I hate McCain:
he lost his plane!
No hero, John!
(The Don moves on!)
I diss’d Rick P
‘cuz he dissed me.
Don't on me dump:
I'm Donald Trump!

That Huffington:
she's such a bitch!
With NBC
I've hit a glitch.
Plus, have you heard…? 
I'm very rich!
When I say "Jump!"
all heed The Trump!

I Lindsey diss’d:
he got me piss’d.
What say we phone
that little cyst…?
His phone's unlist-
ed -- well, it was... 
Is Trump too blunt…?
Deal with it, cuz...

…I'm lewd; I'm crude;
I’m oozin’ 'tude! 
Jeb Bush…? He's weak!
(My mind I speak.)
Him and his bro
both love my dough.
Want Donald's bump…?
Don't dump on Trump!" 

I'm Donald Trump!
Yeah...Donald Trump!
My niche…? Tres riche!
(But hold the quiche.)
I pillory
Bill’s Hillary:
her job at State…?
Eleventh-rate!

Ted Cruz…? Big snooze!
Rand Paul's sans balls!
That Hammerkraut:
What's he about…?
Remember Mitt…?
Proved not worth shit!
(Dick Nixon…? Dim!
Who's heard of him…?)

To Huckabee:
"Don't fuck with me!" 
No one's as won-
derful as he,
as Donald Trump!
(Out on the stump,
just hear 'em trump-
-et: "Don-ald-Trump!")

Eggcentric Britain:
The White Cliffs of D'ova