There was an old deadbeat from Meath
holding on by the skin of his teeth.
Once those teeth shed their skins
(a) he moved on, towards his shins
(b) he dry shaved all his chins
(c) he sought crowns (Sergey Brin’s...?)
(d) he whined, “That won’t score wins!”
(e) he scour’d bargain-book bins
(f) he bark’d, “Yangs…? Nada! Yins!"
(g) he’d wet naps tack'd with pins
(h) he’d yell, “Room...? None at inns!”
(i) he gave gums sev’ral spins
(j) he’d rub lamps, rousing djinns
(k) he plied Anais Nin’s
(l) he bought placque – Howard Zinn’s –
(m) he donn'd dentures -- Ed Wynn’s
(n) he’d sigh, “Fresh out of ins…”
(o) he cried, “Had I but fins…”
(p) he’d pour two double gins
(q) he phoned Anthony Quinn’s
(r) he bought false ones – for grins
(s) he employ'd Rin-tin-tin's
(t) he got gout (for his sins)
(u) he'd rent Loretta Lynn's
(v) he'd indulge in Wheat Thins
(w) he'd instruct, "Damp the dins!"
(x) he'd try your next of kin's
(y) he'd collect sardine tins
(z) he consulted with twins
(y) he exhumed Freddie Prinze
(x) he equipp'd the Ashvins
(w) he book'd passage for Linz
(v) he restrung violins
(u) he remark'd, "Thus begins..."
(t) he'd tan elephant skins
(s) he cheer'd might-have-beens
(r) he'd plant chinquapins
(q) he'd raze walls (Berlin's...?)
(p) he'd ____ Ho Chi Minh's
(o)
then, indeed, died -- said deadbeat from Meath.
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