Citizen Spoon

Platform for the Grand Old Party.
Seems this well-charr'd char's quite hearty. 
     The Handmaid's Tale / The tann'd maid's hale

Gone With the Spoon

Sign supplied near a wrecking crew. 
Times you "do as the Merkans do."
     Men at work / When at Merk 

The Birth of a Spooner

The kick-off to Psalm 23.

You pick on my jaguar, I see.

     Ye Lord is my shepherd /

     Thee shor' dis my leopard 

Ojibwe legend serves as source.

Ask, "Ya'll into Yoga force...?"

     Hiawatha / Why a Hatha...?

Marx Brothers movie which Leo* directs.

Someone gave cave-dwellin' cove oral sex.

     Duck Soup / Suck'd Oop

          * McCarey 

Dance to the Music of Spoon

Sid and Harry's Afro-flick.
Shakespeare's sprite...plus Moby Dick. 
     Buck and the Preacher / Puck and the Breacher

Hello, Queneau! or Multiplier Effect

     The four lines below can be set out in 24 

different orders, each providing a slight variant 

of the Parable of the Multiplication of the Loaves 

and Fishes. 

Once Son o' Man's done wrapp'd His spiel 

Tho' left with mostly empty creel 

He'll bless twin loaves 'n' fish with zeal  

Because He'd serve a decent meal

A B C D   A B D C   A C B D   A C D B   A D B C   A D C B

B C A D   B C D A   B D A C   B D C A   B A C D   B A D C

C D A B   C D B A   C A B D   C A D B   C B A D   C B D A

D A B C   D A C B   D B A C   D B C A   D C A B   D C B A

Won Ton Soup Spooner

Asian fare in wok gets toss'd.
Quartet hollers, "What's our cost...?" 
     Pork fried rice / Four cried, "Price...?"

A Trey of Spooners

Flickers film'd in lower'd light.
Jaws meets Dorothy, takes a bite.
     Shot in the dark / Dot in the shark

Daring Paris mill is red.

Where oh where is Street My Sled...?

     Moulin Rouge / Rue Mon Luge

Mark Twain's tome's a classic work

and Henry Binn's a freakin' jerk.

     Huckleberry Finn / Fuck ol' Harry Binn 

Born Royal...?: A NightM.A.R.E.* in Three Cantos

     So-called "NightM.A.R.E.s" are nonsense 

verses excessively stressing Meter, Alliteration, 

Rhyme and Esotericosity.

     "Born Royal...?" concentrates on kings and 

queens, caliphs and rexes, duchesses and 

supreme leaders, chancellors and dukes...and 

a solo Semitic margrave.

     One 

Late I've wonder'd: had I been born royal,

would've life aloft lessen'd the roiling, the toil

which, at boil, spur'd attempts to shed life's mortal coil...?

Would I've access'd such spoil, were I royal...?

     Born Charlemagne, King of the Franks,

would I’ve issued Haroun al-Rashid Sherman tanks

as small payback for Abul-Abbas, with my thanks...

if born Charlemagne, King of the Franks...?     (per GFH)

     Born Joshua, Rex Judeorum, 

would I've brew'd such to-do's in Jerusalem's forum

while failing when jail'd to arrive at a quorum...

born Joshua, Rex Judeorum...? 

     Born Caliph Haroun al-Rashid, 

would I've bury'd my harem and married some Swede

flank'd by ring bearers, each a faux Joël Embiid...

if born Caliph Harun al-Rashid...?

     Two 

Born Wallace the Duchess of Windsor,

would I've leapt from my bed on the day which begins her

affair with der Führer -- Come the schnapps! Come, some Linzer...

born Wallace the Duchess of Windsor...?

     Born Oberon, King of the Fairies,

would I've ceded Seal's Rock and attack'd the Canaries,

grenades (three pair) launch'd with a prayer (three Hail Marys)...

born Oberon, King of the Fairies...?

     Born Jong-un Supreme Leader Kim,

would I've sooner shirr'd eggs than shared egos with "him" --

and by "him" I, of course, ref'rence Donald the Dim...

if born Jong-un Supreme Leader Kim...?

     Born that merciless emperor Ming,

would I've pencil'd a pact with the Clay People's king

to entrap earthman Flash in a Mongo-wide sting...

born that merciless emperor Ming...?

     Three 

Born Edward K. Ellington, "Duke,"

would I've traded my top hat for powder'ed peruke

while ignoring the box bobby-soxers call 'juke'...

if born Edward K. Ellington, "Duke"...?

     Born Chancellor Angela Merkle,

would I've laid bare my lights in a whole 'nother circle

while tattling tales to that talk-show host Terkle...

born Chancellor Angela Merkle...?

     Born Queen Isabella of Spain,

would I've diss'd Chris Columbus ("That punk proved a pain!"),

keeping USA properties public domain...

if born Queen Isabella of Spain...?

     Born Moses the Margrave of Mohels,

would I've thrived, so alive in such splendorous soils...?

Would I've bedded, than wedded, more better-class goils...

were I born 'mongst the mondo of royals...?

Xanadon't

In Xanadu did Kubla Khan a stately pleasure-dome decree.
But Kubla's crib had nothing on the "tajma hall" decreed by me.

My designated Grand Vizier who, formerly a choc'latier

compell'd to leave Leuze-en-Hainaut beneath a cloud ("They made me go"),

in place of Alph the sacred stream, provision'd ponds with clotted cream,

then stock'd each pool with shortbread fish, which pairings proved one "dish delish."

     (a work in progress)

Spoony + Goony

Kern + Gershwin = hit: 

     a lucrative equation. 
Chinese spy and Yuri's bit 

     o' fluff of queer persuasion.
          Long Ago (and Far Away) / 

          Wong (a foe) and Lara (gay)

'Twas brillig.

'Twas thought to be brillig.

'Twas about to have been brillig.

'Twas...what's that...? You say it wasn't brillig...?

The King in Orange or This Rectum Runs the Spectrum

He, brought up in the green,
with spoons of silver in his mouth,
would Yellow Fever ne'er encounter.
Black Death...? Nope! Nor drouth.
     All businesses bequeath'd to him
he ran into the red,
which left his dad and mother blue
(who're Mary Anne 'n' Fred.)
      His soul...? It runs to shades of gray,
all bordering on black.
The candidates he backs...? Fa-a-ar red.
(Of those there's ne'er a lack.)
     His offspring...? White supremacists.
His dermis he terms tan.
His thatch is prematurely blonde.
He's psycho-delic, man!

Gerald FitzSpoon

A stamen...? A pistil...? This circle is hesitant.
Group granting succor where Bubbe's a resident.
     Transgender community / Gran's tender community

Pentel Puns: Games Führers Play: Exquisite Corpse

Recollecting a Loser

Not Kublai Khan in Xanadu;
Not Lincoln in the Bardo.
Not Conway, Hugh at Shangri-la
was Drumpf at MAGA-lardo.
In days to come, recalling Drumpf,
that awful autocrat,
think Bonaparte at Waterloo.
Think Casey at the Bat. 

V of D Q & A

     Q: 

What's the funniest line Emma Chambers's Alice Tinker ever delivered...?

     A: 

I can't believe it's not "I can't believe it's not 'I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.'"

Palace Leaks or Time to Draw on the Special Relationship

Said Charles to his Camilla,
referring to his pen,
"Oh god I hate this bloody thing.
Look! Here it goes again."
Camilla's answer to her Charles...?
"It's going everywhere.
What you require's a Sharpie, Sire.
I bet Trump kept a spare."

Pentel Puns: Games Führers Play: Sign My Yearbook: Hitler Youth, Class of '39

 

Li'l Liberry-a-Lago

 

Pentel Puns: Games Führers Play: Hangmänn

The Closing Spooner

I'm well and truly fuck'd.

I'm George III; I duck'd. 
     Eyes wide shut / I shied, what...?

Up at the Spooner

Lines from our anthem that land with a thud.
One cheese's applause, one preferr'd cheese's mud. 
     The land of the free, the home of the brave /
     the hand of the Brie, the loam of the fave

Folly De Die Natali, a Study in Determinism or Don't Trust the 'Must' (completed on Die Non-Natali, i.e., the poet's unbirthday)

Here's not Paul Atreides 

nor not Warren Beattys, 

Elizabeth Cadys 

nor do, dare, dedis...

"In eighty days, Adie turns eighty":
six words which must, someday, prove true.*

(And, in some way or t'other, young Adie's big brother
Sebastian must turn eighty-two.)

     ** That day will be May 26th in the year 2083. 

Mark your calendars.

But must they, too, migrate to Haiti,

a decision said sibs view as weighty...?
Must Adie get wedded to Katie,
an attractive and talented lady...

...whose mummy and dad are Kuwaiti...?
Must Seb bed a woman call'd Zadie

from the Philippine Island of Leyte*
who'd bear him a scion dubb'd Brady...?

Must Adie 'n' Kate beget Grady 'n' Nate,

conjoin'd twins, in a nascency shady...?

I can't ensure those outcomes, matey,

since by then I'll've said "When." (As will you.)

     * Pronounced by some (Latinex...?) as 

/Lay tay/ but here enunciated to rhyme with 

Zadie (a perfectly acceptable -- if perhaps 

overly venerable -- pronunciation).

Pentel Puns: Games Führers Play: SwasTikTakToe

 

Spooners of Circumstance

Sondheim sung to Mrs. Lovett.
I'm a mutt: no breed above it!
     "Not while I'm around" / Rottweil'...? I'm "an 'ound!"

Mister POTATUS* Head "Coifs 'n' Cosmetics" Makeup Toy (Assaults and Batteries Not Included)

     * Promulgator Of The Angry Tweet (of the) United States

      (images to come: a work in progress)

SuperSpoon

The Quaker bard to worth of youth 

and nature would attest. 

     Among the puns on Whittier's verse, 

this "Boy-foot bear" one's best.

     A boardroom head -- one Lego-shod -- 

whose nose has been suppress'd.

          Barefoot boy with cheek of tan /

          boy-foot bear with teak of Chan /

          toy-foot Chair with beak of ban

Nanny Nonsense's Nursery Toy Closet of Celebrity Borrowed Interest

The Orson Beanbag

The Jack Paarcheesi

The Sylvia SimsCity

The Clue Gulager 

     (the three above per SS) 

The J. Willard MarriYahtzee 

The Atilla the Hungry Hungry Hippo 

The Brad Pit

The Lieutenant General H. R. McMastermind  

The Tarot Yamamoto 

The Leo G. Carrom 

The Baby Snooker

The Marlene Dietrichtactoe 

The Ronald Pickupsticks

The Harry Partcheesi 

The Augustine of Hippokemon 

The Hale Boggle

The Robert Cootie 

The O. Winston SLinky 

The Justice Hugo Blacktion Figure

The Oliver Twister 

The Marilyn Monopoly  

The Hamid Karxylophone

The Herb Blokus

The Neville Shutes and Ladders

The John Candyland  

The Donald Duck Pins

The Mickey Mousetrap 

The Feodor Chaliapinball Machine 

The Salman Rushdecoder Ring

The Gore De Volleyball 
The Deng Xiao Ping Pong Paddles 
The Hedy La Marbles  

The Don Qui Kong Arcade Game 
The Igor Stravinskee-Ball 
The Vincent Van Go-cart 
The Hermann Göring Toss 

The Edgar Allan Poetato Head
The Bibi Netanyahula Hoop 
The Hugo Matuscheckerboard 
The Leo Tolstoy Soldiers

The Walter Cronkite
The Klaus Barbie 
The John Coletrain Layout 
The Ludwig von Bakeoven

The Lucille Ball
The Rafael Nadoll
The James Armisteddy Bear
The Johann Sebastian Blocks

The Bigliest Loser or POTUS the GOATUS* *Goat-Of-All-Time of the United States

 (a work in progress)

Ghosts in the Machines

      (A work in progress)

The Lever

The Wheel & Axle
The Pulley
The Inclined Plane
The Wedge
The Screw

The Making of a Spoon

Rudyard Kipling's concubine. 
Crone's whetstone nears Ursine line.
     A rag, a bone, a hank of hair / A hag, a hone, a rank of bear

Spooner of Lambeth

President's clone who's the bane of the Right.
Rag-pickin' crone who'll remain out of sight.

     Hunter Biden / Bunter, hidin'