Spoon Billets

A shortbread cookie, square in shape...
...bedeck a kook in, say, a cape: 
     a Lorna Doone / adorn a loon

Spoon City

Film where Indy's plu-imperil'd...
...mates in caper pull'd by Harold:
     "Raiders of the Lost Ark" / aiders of the Ross'd lark

Man of the Cloth Antonio Bandanas: a fabricature by Ulysses Poe

Colored pencils, 

black chemical 

marker and real 

dimensional 

neckerchief with 

matching head-

band in cotton 

paisley-print 

fabric on 16" by 

20" canvas 

stretched over 

pine frame

Requiescat in Spooner

He hands you a hand towel and whisks off your coat...
...Christopher's crypt sports a Latinate quote:* 
     men's room attendant / Wren's tomb amendment

     * “Here in its foundations lies the architect of this 

church and city, Christopher Wren, who lived beyond 

ninety years, not for his own profit but for the public 

good. Reader, if you seek his monument -- look around 

you. Died 25 Feb. 1723” -- in Latin, of course. 

Spoons of the Misbegotten

Rare gem and goose are both pursued...

...old boy drops hints, some very rude:

     "The Blue Carbuncle" / the "clue-barb" uncle

Another Doyle tale...? Ain't no way...

...my burro's busses make me bray: 
     "The Case of the Missing Fuel" / the face of the kissing mule

The Best Words or One Fine Day During a Former-POTUS's Make-up Cognitive Test

S. Hannity: So, Mr. President: I'll read you a list of four words. I'll then ask you to name a fifth word which correctly completes the pattern established by the first four. Are you ready, sir...? The words are: person, man, woman, camera. And now, Mr. President, the fifth word...?

D. Drumpf: Person, man, woman, camera...Porn! But, by the way, Sean: don't forget that I deserve extra points for repeating the words in order.

Greasy Spooner

Leading man whom Kate ne'er wedded...
...ill at ease or muddleheaded: 
     Spencer Tracy / tense or spacey 

A Hundred and One More (Men o' the Cloth & Material Girls)

Soon Le Textile Musée 

once more open'd will be.

     Soon they'll've hung their new show, 

call'd it "Men o' the Cloth."

     Will it "must see" be...? Oui! 

Plus, entrées will be free.

     Nor'll be any unwelcome – 

unless they're a moth.

                                          -- Uly Poe

Denzel Washantung, Khakie Gleason, Johnny Cashmere, 

Iggy Poplin & George Bernard Shawl... 

     Jean-Claude Van Damask, Flannelly O'Conner, Jay Lenolium, 

Chenille deGrasse Tyson & Jimmy DurAntimacassar... 

     Joan Baeze, Arthur Vinyl Davis, Gaberdine Martin, 

Cho En-Lycra & Condoleezza Ricepaper...

     Chiang Kai-Checks, Margaret Thatch, Patti Label,

Batiki Barber & Polyester Williams...

     Dolly Parchment, Knit Romney, Heath Leather, 

W. C. Handi-Wipe & Cloth Raines... 

     Paul Kleenex, Corduroy Cohn, Suze Orlon, 

Tom Hankies & Henri MaTissue... 

     Louie Nylon, Edgar Allan Peau de Soie, Man Rayon,

Martin Loofah King, Jr. & Mr. Tee...

     Maurice Ravelveteen, Morgandy Freeman, Mark Twine,

Mohairy Potter & Madras Max...

     Milton Burlap, Newt Gingham, Noel Cowhide,

Orlon Chaney & Pontius Pile...

     Porky Pigskin, Pat Buckram, Peter O'Tulle,

Quilt Chamberlain & Raffia Nadal...

     Rya Cooder, Salvador Doily, Samuel Berber,

Shag (Eel) O'Neal & Steve Mnuchintz...

     Saran Paul, Sherlock Homespun, Sir John Falstaffeta,

Sackclotherell Sitwell & Terrycloth Thomas...

     Tarpo Marx, Vincent van Gauze, Velvets Presley,

Woodrow Woolson & William Howard Taffeta...

     Zbig ("Newsprint") Zinski, Zane Crepe, Twilliam Shakespeare,

Spiro Ragnew & Lamé West...

     Maria Von Trappestry, Bernie Macrame, Alan Jay Velourner,

Anais LiNin & Acetatum O'Neal...

     Britney Spearsucker, Barbara Felton, Cate Blanket,

Canvas Bergen & Calicoco Chanel...

     Janet Muslin, Lady Caroline Laminate, Miss Jane Marble,

Meryl Stripe & Divinyl...

     Penelope Crewels, Princess Tie Dye, Sarah Palint,

Susan Saranwrap and Torigami Spelling...

     Alexander the Crepe, Audie Mufti, Al Gore-Tex,

Abraham Linen & Alpaca Chino...

     Brocadrian Cronauer, BombaZeno of Elia, Captain James Cork,

Cisco Kidskin & Cheesecloth of Nazareth

     Ludwig von Beethovenmitt...

     (images to come: a work in progress)

Spooner or Later

Home to 'oui!'s and 'zut alors!'s...
...Fawcett-Majors dubs hers 'drawers':
     Paris, France / Farrah's pants

Spoon Over Miami

What Boy Scouts always strive to do.
First, drop your drawers; then, find a loo.
     Be prepared! / pee, pre-bared 

Spooncero

Board my bronco what's bucking about! 
Shall I stash Sinbad's bird...? Without doubt! 
     Ride a cock horse / hide a roc...? 'Course!

Spoonerama

They're failing! My renals are failing, I fear. 
Did Donald not plant one on emperor's rear...?
     Kidney disease / didn' he kiss Caes'...?

Fortnights in prisons at judge's behest.

Looks for refined man in Haverfordwest. 

     Weeks spent in jails / seeks gent in Wales

Junie Spoons

Trod the boards as femme fatale.*

Diss induced by alcohol. 

     Jane Greer / grain jeer

     * Some mss show 'gangland moll' 

for these final three syllables, notably 

pages inked by scribes who eschewed 

slant rhyme.

Mobs impress'd to guard our flanks.

Clara's chest...? Much better, thanks. 

     Human shield / Schumann heal'd

Half Spooners

Babylon.

Ponce gnaws Don. 

     Where neon lights are bright / 

     where Leon bites our knight

 

Darwin key.

Dark wine sea.*
     Selfish gene / jell'fish scene

          * Oînops póntos to Attic Homer

X Marks the Spoon

Two of Santa's flying deer.
What starts now...? It's puke, I fear.
     Comet, Vixen / vomit kicks in

Halved, then partition'd in three.
VapoRub chooses, agree...?
     Divided by six / decided by Vicks

The Spoons & Quincunx

Our pact the judge rules null. 

The left flank of a hull. 

     Court of Appeal / port of a keel 

Get me all the breaking news.

Let them Speen boys pay their dues.

     Spill the beans / bill the Speens

He slinks about, singin' the blues

on account of (he says), "Where's me shoes!"

When I point out some putti

(no feet -- so, no bootie),

he still moans 'bout payin' his dues.

Vladimir Putin's Twelve Days of Isthmus or Questions of Cupidity

On the first day, which isthmus does Vlad annex with glee...?

In Aisén, the Isthmus Ofqui...?

On the second, which isthmus prompts Vlad's "Absorb it...? Let's!"...?

Isthmus Olonets...

and, in Aisén, the Isthmus Ofqui...?

On the third day, which isthmus nabs Vlad...? Some man-made one...?

Heptastadion...

Isthmus Olonets...

and, in Aisén, the Isthmus Ofqui...?

On the fourth day, which isthmus will Putin now harpoon...?

Isthmus o' La Dune...

Heptastadion...

Isthmus Olonets...

and, in Aisén, the Isthmus Ofqui...?

On the fifth day, which isthmus will Vlad next set upon...?

Isth-...

mus 

Aaav-...

aaah-...

lonnnn...

Isthmus o' La Dune...

Heptastadion...

Isthmus Olonets...

and, in Aisén, the Isthmus Ofqui...?

On the sixth, of which isthmus will Putin not let go...?

Portas do Cerco...

Isth-...

mus 

Aaav-...

aaah-...

lonnnn...

Isthmus o' La Dune...

Heptastadion...

Isthmus Olonets...

and, in Aisén, the Isthmus Ofqui...?

On the seventh, on which isthmus will Vlad a bead now draw...?

Isthmus of Kra...

Portas do Cerco...

Isth-...

mus 

Aaav-...

aaah-...

lonnnn...

Isthmus o' La Dune...

Heptastadion...

Isthmus Olonets...

and, in Aisén, the Isthmus Ofqui...?

On the eighth day, which isthmus lies not beyond Vlad's reach...?

Sere Chesil Beach...

Isthmus of Kra...

Portas do Cerco...

Isth-...

mus 

Aaav-...

aaah-...

lonnnn...

Isthmus o' La Dune...

Heptastadion...

Isthmus Olonets...

and, in Aisén, the Isthmus Ofqui...?

On the ninth, on which isthmus will grasping hands Vlad put...?

Istmo de Chubut...

Sere Chesil Beach...

Isthmus of Kra...

Portas do Cerco...

Isth-...

mus 

Aaav-...

aaah-...

lonnnn...

Isthmus o' La Dune...

Heptastadion...

Isthmus Olonets...

and, in Aisén, the Isthmus Ofqui...?

On the tenth day, which isthmus a grab for will Vlad make...?

Nahuel Huapi Lake...

Istmo de Chubut...

Sere Chesil Beach...

Isthmus of Kra...

Portas do Cerco...

Isth-...

mus 

Aaav-...

aaah-...

lonnnn...

Isthmus o' La Dune...

Heptastadion...

Isthmus Olonets...

and, in Aisén, the Isthmus Ofqui...?

On the eleventh, to which isthmus will Putin cry, "Aha!"...?

Mel island, Paraná...

Nahuel Huapi Lake...

Istmo de Chubut...

Sere Chesil Beach...

Isthmus of Kra...

Portas do Cerco...

Isth-...

mus 

Aaav-...

aaah-...

lonnnn...

Isthmus o' La Dune...

Heptastadion...

Isthmus Olonets...

and, in Aisén, the Isthmus Ofqui...?

On the twelfth day, which isthmus will, "annex'd," cap Vlad's guile...?

Catalina Isle...

Mel island, Paraná...

Nahuel Huapi Lake...

Istmo de Chubut...

Sere Chesil Beach...

Isthmus of Kra...

Portas do Cerco...

Isth-...

mus 

Aaav-...

aaah-...

lonnnn...

Isthmus o' La Dune...

Heptastadion...

Isthmus Olonets...

and, in Aisén, the Isthmus Ofqui...?

         Another day, another isthmus: 

1. An isthmus connecting the Taitao Peninsula with Chile 

2. An isthmus between Lake Onega and Lake Ladoga in Russia.

3. A causeway linking Pharos Island to Alexandria in Egypt.

4. Aka Miquelon-Langlade.

5. A large peninsula in the southeast of Newfoundland.

6. Land separating Macau from mainland China.

7. An isthmus connecting the Malay Peninsula to mainland Asia.

8. A tombolo connecting the Isle of Portland to UK's Dorset coast.

9. Istmo Carlos Ameghino in Argentina's Chubut Province.

10. Quetrihue Isthmus in Argentina's Nahuel Huapi Lake.

11. The Isthmus at Nova Brasilia.

12. Even in the U A of A.

The Cabinet of Doctor Spoon

Game shows sweets -- though not one cactus.   

California halts his practice.

     Candy Land / Landy cann'd*

          *Therapist Eugene Landy's license 

            revoked for unethical behavior

Film-noir femme fatale...? Indeedy!
Weasel cheap 'n' loud 'n' seedy. 
     Audrey Totter / tawdry otter

Tried for Bogie's bird: got screw'd.

Administrator o'er a brood. 

     Mary Astor / aerie master

Plans

Today I'll paint the Mona Lisa.
After which, I'll fashion Fire.
Thereupon I'll forge with ease a 
Mormon Tabernacle Choir.
     By noon I'll've improvised the Wheel.
To follow up...? The Printing Press.
I'll also end Discrimination.
Immigration I'll address.

     I'll harness Electricity.

Unsatisfied, I'll harness Steam.

C. Darwin's Evolution Theories..?

Stating those has been my dream.

     I'll then discover How to Speak.

Nor shall I downplay How to Write.

Good Lord! 'Tis been a busy week.

I think I'll have an early night.