Dante's Infernal Review

     Into which circle of hell should the ex-POTUS be plunged...?

It seems a case can be made for every one of the nine.

     Canto I 

Death don't heel for no schlemiel,

nor'll do She so for Don der Drumpf.

What's left...? To seal this deal: which wheel

of Dante's Hell Judge Doom should dumpf

this boob whose crime blooms overtime --

in Oval Off 'n' on the stumpf.

     Canto II 

"Such pests shan't rest in Limbo's Ring,"

Gehenna's Prosecutor states.

"Though Hell's First Ring be just the thing

some classic Attic odist rates,

still, Drumpf's "pest werds" (sic)...? For the birds!

(Plus, reading anything Drumpf hates)."

     Canto III 

"Does Drumpf not bust a gut with lust

as sure as Hombergs drop...?" asks Doom,

"...though, charged with rape, Drumpf purrs, non-pluss'd..."

"Drumpf hump'd me in a dressing room,"

notes E. Jean Carroll.* "Di'n't he just!"

adds Doom. "Thus Circle Two's his tomb."

     * Journalist who accused Drumpf 

of sexually assaulting her in a Bergdorf 

Goodman changing facility. 

     Canto IV 

"Hush your fuss," fumes Cerberus.*

"That Drumpf's a glutton nurse no doubt.

Big Macs, Drumpf Steaks, whole choc'late cakes

Drumpf stuffs into his MAGA mout.'

'Tis Circle Three, let's all agree,

edacious Donald's all about."

     * The ravenous three-headed dog who 

guards Hell's Circus of Gluttons.

     Canto V

Half of Circuit-Four's for spenders;

half's," drawls Doom, "for hoods who'd hoard.

Clearly Drumpf's not 'mongst the lenders;

Herr Drumpf hoards -- across-the-board.

'Tis only just that Drumpf surrenders,

letting his Scrooged soul be Four'd!"

     Canto VI

 

     (more cantos to come: a work in progress)