The GOP lies. Rhymes...? Never.
How unpleasant is Mr. DeSantis,
christen'd Ronald Dion but call'd Ron!
Though Ron's poll numbers plunge (think Atlantis!),
that he'll run's a conclusion foregone.
In the style of some vile praying mantis
aping aims of the famed Genghis Kahn,
he's soliciting votes, is DeSantis.
C'mon, Ron: be you puttin' me on...?
How unpleasant to know Mr. Meadows!
Named for targets of pranks, he's call'd Mark.
Is he treasonous...? Doubtless the Fed* knows,
but to date we're to wait in the dark.
Meadows' trunk's like that punk's (Whose...? Geppetto's).
Note its rise when on lies Mark embarks,
which election denier Mark Meadows
does unpleasantly do. Oh, wot larks!
* Usually an abbreviation for the Federal
Reserve System but used here to refer
to the government writ large.
How unpleasant to know Giuliani!
(Once America's Mayor was Rudy...
...also foot-in-mouth mouthpiece for Donny.
(Talk about dereliction of duty...)
Bleeding hair dye like mulligatawny,
this personification of beauty's
boo'd, rude, crude, lewd, sued dude Giuliani.
(Even Judy* deems Rudy "quite fruity.")
* Wife of Uly Poe, the poetaster
who authored these Learics.
How unpleasant to know Mr. Abbott!
(Abbott's wheelchair's referr'd to as "Greg's.")
For some years, Greg's not made it his habit
to stand up on his own pair o' pegs.
As a Lone Star political Babbitt,
Abbott's dictates are drawn from the dregs
in the soul of unpleasant Greg Abbott.
(Abbott's soul...? One more question this begs.)
How unpleasant to know Señor Cruz!
(Once 13, Rafael becomes Ted.)
Later, Cruz's attempts to amuse
lead to balderdash best left unsaid.
Ted's resisted (thus far) dissing Jews,
dissing immigrant Dreamers instead.
See you soon in Cancun, Mr. Cruz...?
(Snowflake know'd: when it snow'd, Teddy fled.)*
* Cf the Cruz family dog Snowflake and
the infmous Cancun controversy.
How unpleasant to know Mr. Jordon,
whose spouse Polly proclaims him her Jim!
All those "rasseling" matches Jim scored in
won't make up for his cowardly whim
of erecting a coverup cordon
'round abuses observ'd in his gym.
Such a hypocrite pol is Jim Jordon!
I'd think twice about voting for him.
How unpleasant to know Mr. Biggs!
A consumer of treif is our Andy,
who loves frogs legs 'n' shellfish 'n' pigs
but loathes geese (Mother, Garfield 'n' Gandy*).
For financing political gigs,
he finds winning a lottery handy --
does unpleasant far-right Andy Biggs,
who touts texting while driving as "dandy."
* Nursery rhyme's Mother Goose, Chicago
TV puppet Garfield Goose and Terrytoons
character Gandy Goose.
How unpleasant is Mr. McCarthy!
(Like that Home Alone lad, label'd Kevin.)
Thou aren't sure of thy speakership, are thee...?
(Thy majority's three less than seven.)
Buth ith's Drumth's -- thith Republican Parthy* --
an inferno alternative heaven...
...as unpleasant as you are, McCarthy.
(What you lack is political leaven.)
* The narrator here not only lapses into
use of Biblical pronouns but occasionally
a pronounced lisp, if only in line five.
How unpleasant to know Mr. Gosar!
(Most Show Lowans* I know call him Paul.)
Queried, "Are you deranged...?" Paul swears, "Nossar!
A bit under the weather is all."
Gosar's friends with Fuentes, God knows. Are
Gosar's racist remarks due to gall...?
Shouldn't ultra-unpleasant Paul Gosar
move to Mexico's side of Drumpf's wall...?
* Show Low, Arizona, population 10,660.
How unpleasant to know Mrs. Thomas
who's long gone by the moniker Ginni!
Ginni claims, "Who defames me as squamous
is some glib pinko liberal ninny."
Still, her Herr, Justice Clarence, must promise
to agree: no more GOP spin -- he
grants wa-a-a-ay too much play to spouse Thomas.
(Both be fatheads...nor neither one's skinny.)
How unpleasant to know Mr. Gaetz!
("I rejoice in the nickname o' Matt.")
Weren't it Matt -- with his matrix of mates --
who derail'd Kevin's* speakership...? Drat!
He (they say) also doubled on "dates"
with some underage girls; unproved, that.
Yet, though still the unpleasant Matt Gaetz,
he the GOP finds "where it's at."
* Congressional House Speaker McCarthy
How unpleasant to know Gen'ral Flynn,
whom a jury referr'd to as Mike!
What's his plan...? Do Democracy in --
he preferring the Thousand Year Reich.
Nor is treachery Flynn's only sin:
he digs envy, greed, wrath and the like,
does the extra-unpleasant Mike Flynn.
Here's two words for you, Mike: Take a hike!
How unpleasant to know Mr. Kennedy!
('Twer'nt no bris: he got christen'd John Neely.)
Bridges burn'd, John's well earn'd this, my threnody.
Though I'd never portray his mouth mealy,
let me leave you with this nota bene: Di-
-ctatorial...and crude -- no, really!
That at best is unpleasant John Kennedy.
('Tis fo' sho': Johnny's no Horace Greeley.)
How unpleasant to know Mrs. Pirro,
whom true Fox Newsies know as Jeanine!
Pirro promulgates Trump: "He's my hero."
So she bad mouths the COVID vaccine,
serves The Lie (What's her evidence...? Zero!),
and maligns all New Deals seen as Green.
Such, in brief, is my beef with La Pirro:
She's a misinformation machine!
How unpleasant to know Mr. Graham
(Carolinians call this lad Lindsay)!
In the nude, he'd have cued further mayhem
in those sex-habits books penn'd by Kinsey.
As Congressional homies filet 'im
for his other behavioral sins, he
persists plu-unpleasant, does Graham --
while he whines, "Veni, vidique vinci!"
How unpleasant to know Mr. Miller
inking bans with his given name, Stephen!
Chiming, "I'm your community pillar,"
Miller's zealous with "them" to get even.
Lady Liberty...? Miller'd soon kill her,
adding, "Fascism's all I believe in."
So asserts white supremacist Miller.
(Why are so few Americans grievin'...?)
How unpleasant to know Mr. Trump,
undisputed El Líder of Lies!
Donald's also unpleasingly plump,
Donald's also unpleasingly plump,
plus he sports seemingly bottomless ties.
Does he have a gold lav for his dump...?
Is he crazy...? Just gaze at the eyes
of the unpleasant Donald J. Trump:
vicious, they. Wish -- or pray! -- this guy dies!
Does he have a gold lav for his dump...?
Is he crazy...? Just gaze at the eyes
of the unpleasant Donald J. Trump:
vicious, they. Wish -- or pray! -- this guy dies!
How unpleasant to know Mr. Carlson,
ersatz populist, genuine bigot,
one whose cackles are proxies for snarls! Un-
-believably, though, he's a big hit!
Tucker's diatribes, tortured as gnarls on
a pine, parch'd but far from a spigot,
further damn the unpleasant T. Carlson.
He's a dickhead bar none. (Can you dig it!)
How unpleasant to know Mrs. Greene
(christen'd Marjorie), child of "Bob" Taylor,
plighting troth to her AR-15,
thinking guns -- unlike husbands -- won't fail her!
Greene began as a QAnon Queen;
she'll wind up in the joint once they jail her.
And they should "lock her up" -- Margie Greene...
...so I hope AG Garland will nail her.
How unpleasant to know Mrs. Boebert,
'mongst gals cursed with the first name of Lauren!
Boebert's work as berserk xenophobe hurt
scores of scores, folk from shores mostly foreign.
It's construed that she's shrewd, but she's no Bert-
-trand Russell or Kierkegaard (Søren).
Søren says, "That unpleasant Ms. Boebert
should start sayin' her prayers...and stop whorin.'
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