Salternatives

Salternatives: A Charm City Sonnet

Part One

It's routine hue's not green, not blue: 

the yellow Bal'mer Salt Box.

But let me introduce to you 

each Bal'mer Salt Box alt box.

One's home to News's raven muse: 

the Charlayne Hunter-Gault Box.

Use single straw -- or two (you choose): 

the Double Choc'late Malt Box.

One holds wa-a-ay more than all its parts: 

the David Marr Gestalt Box.

The Big One's scaling off the charts: 

the San Andreas Fault Box.

This octal icon rules the streets: 

the Reach a Screechin' Halt Box.

This food lab houses serious eats: 

the Kenji López-Alt Box.

"I'm outta dough; I cannot lie...": 

the Student Loan Default Box. 

Where P***yGrabsters go to die: 

the Sexual Assault Box.

 

   

Part Two 

Comics herein limn'd...? The best! 

The 'Toons by Dudes Dubb'd Walt Box.

(Poe* draws as well...in Berlin West: 

Poe's Lebensunterhalt Box.)

This serves to store your foreign car: 

the English say 'Renault' Box.

These contents tell volks who you are: 

the Mispronounced 'Inhált' Box.

Your bubbe calls it liquid gold: 

where's 'z'...? Behind the 'Shmalt' Box.

This...? Home to hordes of Barb'rys bold: 

the '-er, Rock o' Gibrault-' Box.

Medievals used this for their church: 

the Pitch'd-brick Barrel Vault Box.

Embrace the flip; avoid the lurch: 

the Triple Somersault Box.  

This holds the tablets of the law: 

the Thou Shalt Not/Thou Shalt Box. 

Decryptions Turing oversaw: 

the "AI's Alan's Fault" Box.

    

 

Codetta 

It's routine hue's nor green nor blue, 

the Yellow Bal'mer Salt box.

That said, this last one's red: 

the "I Dictatoheads Exalt!" Box.

    * Ulysses Poe, aka The DMV's 

Doggerel Dickinson, is a Baltimore

poetaster/illustrator and creator 

of the texts and images you're 

presently perusing.