Excuse Our Dust Dept.

Whazzup in the Sudbury Art Studio?

Three new caricatured canvases in the 
Profiles in Textiles: Men of the Cloth series 
are currently under construction. 
George Bernard Shaw?  Nope: George Bernard Shawl. 
Bibi Netanyahu? Nope: Bibi Netting-Yahoo. 
Robert Costa? Nope: Robert Coaster 
Each will each soon be hung on PlaysWell's walls.
Watch this space!

Another Voyage 'Round Archaedia: Journey III

A is for Alma, who’s altered her will.
B’s for Bob bragging, “I’m under the hill.”
C is for Constance who voted for Hoover.
D is for Den neither shaker nor mover.
E is for Emma. Her race? Almost run.
F is for Fenton who’s purchased a gun.
G is for Grace who has good days and bad.
H is for Hank: calls computers “a fad.”
I’s for Inez who has doctored her age.
J is for Johann: dementia, third stage.
K is for Kathryn a petulant scold.
L is for Lon whose great-granddaughter’s old.
M is for Max who’s developed a goiter.
N is for Nan: claims the gateman “annoy’d” her.
O is for Oz: keeps a floozie in town.
P is for Paula. Her toenails turned brown.
Q is for Quentin. Rose says that he died.
R is for Rose: claims the newspapers lied.
S is for Shirl: mixes hounds tooth with plaid.
T is for Tim who passed. (Bowser’s so sad.)
U is for Ulmer, who’s taken up snuff.
V is for Vaughn. “Vaughn! Get offa yer duf!”
W’s Walt, who tells sick shaggy dogs.
X is for Xeno: he posts tell-all blogs.
Y is for Yasser. His room has no view.
Z is for Zoe. We don’t know her; she’s new.

No Alvins

No Alvins call'd Ailey 
nor Babas call’d Ali 
got collar’d at "Occupy Gasoline Alley." 
No -kissangel, Bally-. 
No Rumpole de Bailey. 
No  :: .. : . :.: ... :: . . : . . :: : : :.: either. (Too Brailley.)
No "Serpent! (From hence shall he 
crawl on his belly.") 
No sesame bialy. 
No Sam's "Wooly Bully."
No Elli-
ot, Billy. 
No John ne "-corn, Barley-." 
(Brash brief Melvin Belli’s 
okay – but just barely). 
No Brahmins from Bolly-
wood bruising Brad's brolly 
while filming Brad brawling 
in ballrooms on Bali. 
Caught: Lassie the Collie 
cavorting in ceilidh 
while wildcatting coke for a cartel call’d Cali. 
Deploy’d at Da's Deli: 
in drag: "Hello, Dolly," 
one debuting daughters of Salvador Dali. 
Elle's Christmas equale, 
penn’d especiale, 
in Ely 
was pann’d as "a tad Emmentaly." 
Fat, fatuous Frawley 
erected a folly 
wherein he philander’d – folks felt, fairly freely -- 
until he f**k'd Fifi, one fierce femme fatale. 
"Game goalie -- 
no ghoul, he – 
vaults, gaily, 
each gully..." 
or so reads this galley 
proof. (What? A spoof? Golly!) 
His comet, call’d Halley, 
flies frequent as hail. He* 
just trolls his Noëls hailing 
IVs and Holly. 
Her Berryness (Hallé), 
our Holy 
of Holies, 
defiled on her Harley. 
(Heard howl’d? "-Leuia! Halle-.")
      * Sgt. N. (“Jim”) Smithe-Magee (the N stands for 'Natale')
Allama Iqbal. He ingests his ice lolly 
then misinflects 'Italy' 
(tags it 'I-tal-y'). 
Join’d: Fisher (Joely) 
with wa-a-a-ay too much jelly. 
She (formerly scrawny) grows brawny --though jolly. 
Kiss one: goddess Kali; 
Kristyna Kashvili;
the Senate's "-son, Hutchi-" aka Kay Bailey. 
La Langtry's a Lily 
and Eli's 
a Lily 
and Allen and Tomlin – each lovely, 
both Lilys. 
But Lorelei Lee, 
though not lowly, 
'sno Lily, 
and buds just won't bud for Jean-Baptiste de Lully. 
Mrs. Bloom's christen'd Molly, 
Ms. Meg's a Mulally, 
whilst Earhart's call'd 'Meeley' – 
or 'Millie' 
(or 'Mellie'). 
Ms. Bly is dress’d nattily, 
as is Naphtali. 
Undress’d? Censorinus (de die Natali).*
     * Infamous, of course, for composing in his birthday suit. 
One dragon call'd Ollie. 
One Taitz known as Orly: 
once tether’d together, a true "two ‘n’ only." 
Pass the pralines 
to Pauly! 
Punt pretzels to Pele! 
But, soft! Here's a U-turn: some cracker wants Polly! 
What sort (...qualis, quali...) 
be Great-uncle Quigley 
to level at Neville his poisonous quill, eh? 
"Retreat? Never! Rally!" 
rants Wall Street cop Raleigh. 
"Those kids were unruly!" 
(Still...leper spray? Really?) 
See Sally. 
Run, Sally! 
Run, silly 
Svengali! 
(They once jogg’d with others, but now they
sprint soli.) 
This thirteenth timbale 
near trebles our tally. 
Let's meet in St. Louis (clang-clang goes its trolley). 
Ulysses (called Uly) 
blows hot ukulele. 
His riffs and routines are esteem’d -- not unduly. 
Vern heard ‘cross the valley 
a thunderous volley: 
applause from Volturno, but boos from Vercelli. 
Where's Wonka-ther-Willy? 
Where's Monte-ther-Woolley? 
Where's Cleaver-ther-Wally? 
Died -- doin'-the'r-Wheelie.* 
     * A quartet of hommages a Edward Bear aka Winnie-ther-Pooh.
X fields 'Xiphoidally; 
Y yields '"Yardboid"ally.'*
Z...? 'Tis for 'Zigmund' (though not
Zigmundfreudally). 
     * In the manner (though without the Kansas City accent) of saxophonist Charlie Parker.

Drinking Ditty Designating Deceased Dedicatees

99 Jews air their views at the Wall.
99 Jews airing views.
If one with El Youssef gets into a brawl,
there'll be 98 Jews airing views at the Wall.     
     [Dedicated to Moe Amar Qaddafi the Jewish-Libyan dictator and Moe Abbyte the Jewish Semitic linguist]

98 Jews left to schmooze at the Wall.
98 Jews dishing schmooze.
If one is unable to borrow a shawl, 
there'll be 90 plus 7 a-schmooze at the Wall.    
     [In me"mo"riam: Moe B. S. Tripp the Jewish geomtrician and Moe Beale the Alabama-born Jewish kinetic sculptor]

90 plus 7 to choose at the Wall. 
90 plus 7 to choose.
If one ceases praying ("My kippah's too small")
there'll be 96 Jews left to choose at the Wall.     
     [Dedicated to Moe Barik the Jewish-Egyptian dictator and Moe B. Dicque the Jewish second harpoonist.] 

96 Jews belting blues at the Wall.
96 Jews belting blues.
If one belts "Baruch!" in a West-Texas drawl,
there'll be 95 Jews belting blues at the wall.     
     [In me"mo"riam: Moe Beele al Abama the Arab-Israeli segregationist and Moe "King" Byrd the Jewish ornithologist.] 

95 Jews queue in twos at the Wall.
95 Jews queue in twos.
If one performs stunts with a medicine ball,
there’ll be 94 queueing in twos at the Wall.     
     [Dedicated to Moe Cajave-Latte the Jewish designer coffee roaster and Moe "Ike" Cannaugh-d'Wishue the Jewish "Goys 'n' Dolls" revival actor/manager/]

94 Jews drinking booze at the Wall.
94 Jews drinking booze.
If one departs early for nosh at the mall,
there’ll be 93 Jews drinking booze at the Wall.     
     [In me"mo"riam: Moe Dess the Jewish feminine hygiene products salesman and Moe Dern the Jewish futurist.]

93 Jews pay their dues at the Wall.
93 Jews paying dues.
If one supports “Two-State” – (“‘twere three parts in Gaul…”)
there’ll be 92 Jews paying dues at the Wall.     
     [Dedicated to Moe d'Rotto the Jewish orchestra conductor and Moe "Doug" Lianni the Jewish modernist sculptor.]

92 Jews light a fuse at the Wall.
92 Jews light a fuse.
If one sets his bomb off, thus giving his all,
there’ll be 91 Jews with a fuse at the Wall.     
     [In me"mo"riam: Moe DeMerrier the Jewish party planner and Moe de Waters the Jewish blues guitar player.]

91 Jews losing shoes at the Wall.
91 Jews losing shoes.
If one, thinking twice, keeps his on after all,
there’ll be 90-some Jews doffing shoes at the Wall.     
     [Dedicated to Moe Dredd the Jewish Arthurian studies scnolar and Moe d'Grasse the Jewish groundskeeper.]

90-some Jews look for loos near the Wall.
90-some Jews search for loos.
If one leaves the quarter to “answer the call,”
there’ll be 89 Jews without loos at the Wall.     
     [In me"mo"riam: Moe de Sapperandi the Jewish criminologist and Moe E. Bwayno the Jewish mariachi vihuela player.]

89 Jews search for clues at the Wall.
89 Jews search for clues.
If one finds a shekel, one minted by Saul,
there’ll be 88 Jews with no clues at the Wall
     [Dedicated to Manny ("Moe") N. Jacques the Jewish auto parts dealer and Moe Foyer-Munnie the Jewish wholesaler]

88 Jews take their cues at the Wall.
88 Jews taking cues.
If one cries, “I am big: the pictures got small,”
there’ll be 7-plus-80-odd Jews at the Wall.
     [In me"mo"riam: Moe ("Bull") Fone the Jewish communications specialist and Moe Gunn-d'Aphid the sluggish Jewish sommelier]

Jews – 87! -- wipe ooze from the Wall.
Jews – 87! -- wipe ooze.
If one eschews soap, using grain alcohol,
there’ll be 86 Jews wiping ooze from the Wall.
     [Dedicated to Moe Gambo the Jewish period film buff and Moe Gadd-Issue the Jewish terrorist]

86 Jews fasten screws to the Wall.
86 Jews fasten screws.
If one, name of Ringo, hangs portraits of Paul,
there’ll be 85 Jews setting screws in the Wall. 
     [In me"mo"riam: Moe Gull the Jewish autocrat and Moe ("Bill") Holmes the Jewish RV dealer]

85 Jews slaughter gnus at the Wall.
85 Jews slaughter gnus.
Of one, to keep kosher, should shutter his stall,
there’ll be 84 Jews killing gnus at the Wall. 
     [Dedicated to Moe Hammad the Jewish ayatollah and Moe Haire the Jewish haberdasher]

84 Jews bare tattoos at the Wall.
84 Jews bare tattoos.
If one wears “Love, Mom” in a heart – and that’s all,
there’ll be 83 stark-naked Jews at the Wall. 
     [In me"mo"riam: Moe Hawke the Jewish Native-American (cousin of Moe Heekin the last Jewish Native-American) and Moe Hel the Jewish butcher]

83 Jews shear their ewes at the Wall.
83 Jews shear their ewes.
If one shaves his sheep a bit close (hear it bawl?),
there’ll be 82 Jews shearing ewes at the Wall. 
     [Dedicated to DeMoe I. Seeyou the Jewish singer-songwriter and Moe Jo the Jewish witch doctor] 

82 Jews hop their brews at the Wall.
82 Jews hopping brews.
If one brews a Ghorka, as brewed in Nepal,
there’ll be 81 Jews hopping brews at the Wall.
     [In me"mo"riam: Mor Havee the Latino-Jewish 20-mule team driver and Moe N'keesee-Munkeedoo the Jewish mime]

81 Jews plot their coups at the Wall.
81 Jews plotting coups.
If one says to Yasser, “You’re takin’ the fall,”
there’ll be 80-some Jews plotting coups at the Wall.
     [Dedicated to Keb Moe the Jewish blues singer and Moe ("Lester") F. Kidds the Jewish pedophile]

80-some Jews recruit crews at the Wall.
80-some Jews scouting crews.
If one cries, “I’m hiring no blokes from Bhopal,”
there’ll be 79 Jewish scouts at the Wall.
     [In me"mo"riam: Moe Lah the Jewish lottery winner and Moe Lahr the Jewish orthodontist]

79 Hebrews cruising the Wall.
79 Hebrews cruise.
If one, though named Abd, finds a date after all,
there’ll be 78 Hebrews cruising the Wall.
     [Dedicated to Moe Larrian-Kurleigh the Jewish "Three Stooges" superfan and Moe Lassis the Jewish sorghum planter]

78 Jews down Dews at the Wall.
78 downing Dews.
If one to club soda’s discovered in thrall,
there’ll be 77 Dew’d Jews at the Wall.
     [In me"mo"riam: Moe Le Cuele the Jewish particle physicist and Moe Liere the Jewish dramatist]

77 Jews lose at the Wall.
77 Jews lose.
If one, against all odds, wins big after all,
there’ll be 76 Jews who lose at the Wall.
     [Dedicated to Moe Lokai the Jewish leper and Moe Lotov the Jewish anarchist'

76 Jews plant yews at the Wall.
76 Jews plant yews.
If one plants a pin oak instead – one too tall --
there’ll be 75 sapling yews at the Wall.
     [In me'mo'riam: Moe Luccas the Indonesian Jew and Moe Lybdenum the Jewish chemist]

75 Jews bring Siouxs to the Wall.
75 Jews bring Siouxs.
If one says, “Chief Smoke won’t, though maybe his squaw’ll,”
there’ll be 74 Jews with Siouxs at the Wall.
     [Dedicated to Moe Mism the Jewish psychoanalyst and Moe Morath the Jewish Lewis Carroll scholar]

74 Jews tame shrews at the Wall.
74 Jews tame shrews.
If Shakespeare’s King John one would then overhaul
there’ll be 73 Jew-tamed shrews at the Wall.
     [In me"mo"riam: Moe Ment O'Trooth the Gaelic Jewish bullfighter and Moe Mo the Jewish modern art curator]

73 Jews a-snooze at the Wall.
73 Jews a-snooze.
If one, waken’d rudely, commences to bawl,
there’ll be 72 Jews a-snooze at the Wall.
     [Dedicated to Moe Narque the Jewish butterfly collector and Moe Nahpoly the Jewish industrialist]

72 Jews cook stews at the Wall.
72 Jews cook stews.
If one adds, not wine, but some grain alcohol,
there’ll be 71 stewed Jews strewn ‘round the Wall.
     [In me"mo"riam: Moe Ney the Jewish impressionist painter and Moe Naurel the Jewish vintage vinyl record collector]

71 Jews hear “Nu…?”s at the Wall.
71 Jews hear “Nu…?”s
If one fears that Yiddish expressions appall,
there’ll be 70 Jews hearing “Nu…?”s at the Wall.
     [Dedicated to Moe Nastique the Jewish hermit and Moe Narky the Jewish royalist]

70 Jews defame Druze at the Wall.
70 Jews defame Druze.
If one Jew acknowledges, “That’s a foul ball,”
there’ll be 69 Jews dissing Druze at the Wall.
     [In me"mo"riam: Moe Nocco the Jewish croupier and Noe Nadd the Jewish biologist]

69 Jews spit their chews on the Wall.
69 Jews spitting chews.
If one says, “My Beechnut to spew I refuse,”
there’ll be 68 Jews spewing chews at the Wall.
     [Dedicated to Moe Naleessa the Jewish crossdresser and Moe ("Nick") van Vooren the Jewish drag queen]

68 Jews faking news at the Wall
68 Jews faking news.
If one of them says, “You can’t fight city hall,”
67 fake news Jews there’ll be at the Wall.
     [In me"mo"riam: Moe ("Nick") O'LaWinsky the Jewish Irish crossdressing congressional aide and Moe O'Less the Irish-Israeli tax assessor]

60 plus 7 Jews sue near the Wall.
60 plus 7 Jews sue.
If one of them settles (“I hate a long haul”),
There’ll be 66 Jews with disputes near the Wall.
     [Dedicated to Moe P. Moode the Jewish depressive and Moe Pedd the Jewish recreational cyclist]

66 Jews treading sloughs near the Wall.
66 Jews treading sloughs.
If one of ‘em falls but continues to crawl,
there’ll be 65 Jews treading sloughs near the Wall.
     [in me"mo"riam: Moe Q. Mentory the Jewish satiric filmmaker and Moe Riarty the Jewish Napoleon of Crime]

65 Jews comb their dos at the Wall.
65 Jews comb their dos.
If one of them opts for a synthetic fall,
there’ll be 64 Jews combing dos at the Wall.

64 Jews catch bird flus at the Wall.
64 Jews catching flus.
If one uses vaccine with corn ethanol,
there’ll be 63 Jews still with flus at the Wall.

63 Jews sniffing glues at the Wall.
63 Jews sniffing glues.
If one mixes Elmer’s with parasite gall,
there’ll be 62 Jews sniffing glues at the Wall.

62 Jews spray-paint hues on the Wall.
62 Jews spraying hues.
If one covers all with a Gainsboro pall,
There’ll be 61 Jews spraying hues on the Wall.

61 Jews hail their muse at the Wall.
61 Jews hail their muse.
If one of those muses dismisses the call,
there’ll be 60-some muse-hailing Jews at the Wall.

60-some Jews construct pews at the Wall
60-some Jews construct pews.
If one of those Jews hollers, “Prie-dieux for all!”
there’ll be 59 Jews building pews at the Wall.

59 Juif cordon-bleus at the Wall.
59 Juif cordon-bleus.
If one opts to saute cuisine from Nepal,
there’ll be 58 Juif cordon-bleus at the Wall.

58 Jews mouthing ‘mu’s at the Wall.
58 Jews mouthing ‘mu’s.
If one mouths a ‘nu’ instead (what a miscall!),
there’ll be 57 Jews mouthing ‘mu’s at the Wall.

50 plus 7 Jews coo towards the Wall.
50 pus 7 Jews coo.
If one of those Jews grabs a last curtain-call,
there’ll be 56 Jews cooing “ooh!”s at the Wall.

56 Jews courting Sues at the Wall.
56 Jews courting Sues.
If one of those Jews cries, “Suzanne: you’re too tall!”
there’ll be 55 Jews courting Sues at the Wall.

55 Jews speaking Wu at the Wall.
55 Jews speaking Wu.
If one says, "No, Toto: we're not in St. Paul,”
there’ll be 54 Jews speaking Wu at the Wall.

54 Hebrews call’d Saul scale the Wall.
54 Hebrews call’d Saul.
If one of ‘em changes his name to RuPaul,
there’ll be 53 Hebrews call’d Saul on the Wall.

53 Jews a rose strews near the Wall.
53 Jews a rose strews.
If one of those Jews feels that daisies enthrall,
There’ll be 52 Jews left to strew near the Wall.

52 Jews cry, “J’accuse!” at the Wall.
52 Jews cry, “J’accuse!”
If one gets the picture: “This ain’t Montreal,”
there’ll be 51 cries of “J’accuse!” at the Wall.

51 Jews sweeping flues near the Wall.
51 Jews sweeping flues.
If one plans a new Franklin stove to install,
there’ll be 50 in all Jewish sweeps near the Wall.

Jews – half a hundred! – a-sprawl at the Wall.
Jews – half a hundred! – a-sprawl.
These Jews, having fought in a huge free-for-all
to decide which would win the required wherewithal
to repair wear and tear on their prized Western Wall,
put an end to each other. It’s tragish! 
(That’s all.)