No Alvins

No Alvins call'd Ailey 
nor Babas call’d Ali 
got collar’d at "Occupy Gasoline Alley." 
No -kissangel, Bally-. 
No Rumpole de Bailey. 
No  :: .. : . :.: ... :: . . : . . :: : : :.: either. (Too Brailley.)
No "Serpent! (From hence shall he 
crawl on his belly.") 
No sesame bialy. 
No Sam's "Wooly Bully."
No Elli-
ot, Billy. 
No John ne "-corn, Barley-." 
(Brash brief Melvin Belli’s 
okay – but just barely). 
No Brahmins from Bolly-
wood bruising Brad's brolly 
while filming Brad brawling 
in ballrooms on Bali. 
Caught: Lassie the Collie 
cavorting in ceilidh 
while wildcatting coke for a cartel call’d Cali. 
Deploy’d at Da's Deli: 
in drag: "Hello, Dolly," 
one debuting daughters of Salvador Dali. 
Elle's Christmas equale, 
penn’d especiale, 
in Ely 
was pann’d as "a tad Emmentaly." 
Fat, fatuous Frawley 
erected a folly 
wherein he philander’d – folks felt, fairly freely -- 
until he f**k'd Fifi, one fierce femme fatale. 
"Game goalie -- 
no ghoul, he – 
vaults, gaily, 
each gully..." 
or so reads this galley 
proof. (What? A spoof? Golly!) 
His comet, call’d Halley, 
flies frequent as hail. He* 
just trolls his Noëls hailing 
IVs and Holly. 
Her Berryness (Hallé), 
our Holy 
of Holies, 
defiled on her Harley. 
(Heard howl’d? "-Leuia! Halle-.")
      * Sgt. N. (“Jim”) Smithe-Magee (the N stands for 'Natale')
Allama Iqbal. He ingests his ice lolly 
then misinflects 'Italy' 
(tags it 'I-tal-y'). 
Join’d: Fisher (Joely) 
with wa-a-a-ay too much jelly. 
She (formerly scrawny) grows brawny --though jolly. 
Kiss one: goddess Kali; 
Kristyna Kashvili;
the Senate's "-son, Hutchi-" aka Kay Bailey. 
La Langtry's a Lily 
and Eli's 
a Lily 
and Allen and Tomlin – each lovely, 
both Lilys. 
But Lorelei Lee, 
though not lowly, 
'sno Lily, 
and buds just won't bud for Jean-Baptiste de Lully. 
Mrs. Bloom's christen'd Molly, 
Ms. Meg's a Mulally, 
whilst Earhart's call'd 'Meeley' – 
or 'Millie' 
(or 'Mellie'). 
Ms. Bly is dress’d nattily, 
as is Naphtali. 
Undress’d? Censorinus (de die Natali).*
     * Infamous, of course, for composing in his birthday suit. 
One dragon call'd Ollie. 
One Taitz known as Orly: 
once tether’d together, a true "two ‘n’ only." 
Pass the pralines 
to Pauly! 
Punt pretzels to Pele! 
But, soft! Here's a U-turn: some cracker wants Polly! 
What sort (...qualis, quali...) 
be Great-uncle Quigley 
to level at Neville his poisonous quill, eh? 
"Retreat? Never! Rally!" 
rants Wall Street cop Raleigh. 
"Those kids were unruly!" 
(Still...leper spray? Really?) 
See Sally. 
Run, Sally! 
Run, silly 
Svengali! 
(They once jogg’d with others, but now they
sprint soli.) 
This thirteenth timbale 
near trebles our tally. 
Let's meet in St. Louis (clang-clang goes its trolley). 
Ulysses (called Uly) 
blows hot ukulele. 
His riffs and routines are esteem’d -- not unduly. 
Vern heard ‘cross the valley 
a thunderous volley: 
applause from Volturno, but boos from Vercelli. 
Where's Wonka-ther-Willy? 
Where's Monte-ther-Woolley? 
Where's Cleaver-ther-Wally? 
Died -- doin'-the'r-Wheelie.* 
     * A quartet of hommages a Edward Bear aka Winnie-ther-Pooh.
X fields 'Xiphoidally; 
Y yields '"Yardboid"ally.'*
Z...? 'Tis for 'Zigmund' (though not
Zigmundfreudally). 
     * In the manner (though without the Kansas City accent) of saxophonist Charlie Parker.