"Once, the world was just fire or earth, water or air..." Science Schmyence! E Equals M C Squared: A Disquisition on an Equation

Once, the world was just fire or earth,
water or air.
That's when God was head honcho.
Dissenters? Grilled rare!
Then a diff'rent reality
Albert E. bared:
it seems e equaled m
times the speed of light squared.

Cast your mind back to Al,
him of mad-as-March hair.
To eschew Albert's view of the u...?
Who dared dare...?
Yet some did disagree.
I, for one, bellowed, "Merde!
Are you shittin' me...?
Energy's m times c squared...?" 

"What else? Matter's dark...?
Holes black? Quarks everywhere...?
Leapin' leptons...? Bad bosons...?
Far fruitier fare...?
My Old Testament cosmos
can not be repaired --
not when energy's mass
times the speed of light squared.

"Are there cosmoi in parallel...?
Damned if I care!
Does my watch slow the faster I go...?
C'est la guerre!
I'd prefer Al'd not shared.
I'd have rather been spared
each new round which compounds
E be (zounds!) mc²."