If A Is Not Four or Five Whatevers, Then Whatever Is A For?

A is not four, 
nor five or more, 

aged alligator clips.
Allowed as
afterthought’s an agile Appaloosan acrobat.
And B's not four,
much less one more,
burnt bien cuit bacon strips.
Big brother’s
brief? Be babysitting’s baddest bowlered bureaucrat. 

C is not four,
nor five or more, 
coy Californians,
‘cuz (candid-
ly) crisp coatings choke cute chocolate-covered crocodiles.
And D's not four,
much less one more, 
defective diamonds.
Duets D
does distinguish? Dartmouth’s dapper dancing discophiles.

E is not four,
nor five or more, 
East Sister Islanders.
Each earnest
epileptic elf exhibits elasticities.
And F's not four,
much less one more, 
"for fun" faux-foxtail furs.
Far from it!
Friends foresee ferocious feeding-frenzied fantasies.

G is not four,
nor five or more, 

guffawing garden gnomes.
Gay gyro
geeks grab gravity’s gigantic Gs! Go, gallivanters!
H is not four,
much less one more, 
hardhats for Hemlock Holmes.
Hark! Huns hoist
hands high, hoarsely holl’ring, “Heil, Hitlerian h’erophanters!”

I is not four,
nor five or more,
injected Idahoes
if it, in-
deed, instead imports illuminated isobars.
And J's not four,
much less one more, 
jumpshots by Jalen Rose.
Jock Jalen’s
joy’s just jostling jowl-jammed jack-o’-lanterned jaguars.

K is not four,
nor five or more, 
keel'd kayaks Kant once rowed.
Kan’t (sik) kind
kindergarten kids keep keening kosher katydids?
And L's not four,
much less one more, 
large lizards (pigeon-toed).
Look! Lanky
lawyer Laughing Lincoln’s left lifts lofty lilac lids!

M is not four,
nor five or more,
moist macaroni shapes.
Mere mugging,
mostly – maybe miming mad, malicious malcontents?
And N's not four,
much less one more,
Near-Nostradamists’ capes.
Nope! Nearly
no nerds notice nice, neat neighborly non-residents. 

O is not four,
nor five or more, 
o'er oak tree leaping otters.
O's often
only one one-octave oil-soaked orange ocarina.
And P's not four,
much less one more, 
pert pharaonic daughters.
Pin, please, plu-poorly pleated pantaloons, patrician Palestrina! 

Q is not four,
nor five or more,
quaint Muammar Quaddafis.
Quare que-
reris, quiv’ring queer quinduplicated quadrupeds?
And R's not four,
much less one more,
ripped ropes of Turkish taffies.
R's rarer,
really: raging, ruffled, rather rude Rhode (Island?) Reds.

S is not four,
nor five or more 

sweet saccharine serapes.
So: simply
stated: Swirlin’ Swami’s somewhat silly silken sash.
And T’s not twice times
two or more
trilat'ral tainted nappies.
Thirteen to three, ‘tis tireless Ted the Toiler, trucking ten-ton trash.

U is not four,
nor five or more, 
Ur-unwed Ursulines.
U’s ugly:
undressed Uncle Uly’s (ugh!) unsightly underpants.
And V's not four,
much less one more,
vat-vintage'd Valentines.
Vay! Vay!  V’s
very vicious vole’s (de)vours V's vocal Vivian Vance.

W's not
four or more 
wet Warhols wafting kites --
not while wild 
white-wigg’d warlocks wiggle one's weird worthless warrantee.
And X? Not four,
much less one more, 
xerotic xerophytes.
Is X...? Exactly! "Ximply xwarming" xanthic xylocopidae. 

Y's not four,
nor five or more, 
yurt-yellow yolk-yoked yaks.
Yeah, yeah, you
"you-know-what": Y’s yakish, yet’s your yashmak'd young'uns’s yak.
And Z's not four,
much less one more,
zig-zagging zodiacs.
Zorillas?
Zebras? Zebus? Zorses? Zut, no! Z’s for Zeke, our Zack!.