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Sunday, May 6, 2018

Achoo! A Constrained Abecedarial Nonsense Mantra in Rhyme

"A-A-…A-…A-...A-...CHOO!" 
(Big sneeze starts it? It’s true!)* 
Charleston’s caribou** chew*** 
on Don's didgeridoo.****

     * Hungarian superstition has it that a sneeze accompanying
a storyteller's tale confirms it's truth, no matter how outlandish
said tale may sound -- or so insists Zoltan Kodaly in explaining
the "sneeze simulation" measures kicking off his folk opera
"Hary Janos." 
     * The plural is formed with or without an 's.' 
     ** Perhaps a Charleston Chew?
     *** Duck? Trump? Ameche? Diego de la Vega? In any case,
somebody saddled an unidentified Donald with a taste for offbeat
musical instruments. 

Esrom. Fetid! Foul! Whew!* 
(Is that false? Nope, that’s true.)
But, gosh: give it it's due! 
Halt your hullabaloo!)

      * A cow’s milk cheese with a pungent aroma. 

Smell I Istrian Stew? 
Made with Japanese yew?
Says who? Kanga! (Roo, too,* 
which leaves loads left to do.)

Drop I Methylene Blue 
doos? Nope! Not in our loo! 
Off'ring "Ol' lamps for new..." -- 
plaited palm or bamboo.* 

     * The "ol' switcheroo" performed upon the cry, "New lamps
for old..." heard in Scheherazade's "Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves."
Precisely who makes the offer here remains unclear; nor are
lamps fashioned from reeds or raffia deemed safe. 

"Make it quick! Put me through! 
Really, ree-e-e-ea-ly big shew! 
Special: 'Skip to my Lou' 
follows tirami su..."* 

     * TV Impresario Ed Sullivan appears to be alerting his audience
of his intention to provide them one or more exotic desserts and
a round of folk dancing as a suite of special addenda to one of his
weekly variety hours. 

What is that on your shoe? 
Ugh! 'Tain't Vitamin Q. 
Oy! The Wandering Jew 
wonders, "'X' stands for...who? "

     * The Wandering Jew, interestingly (in light of the first line)
a shoemaker in some versions of his legend, well knows that 'X'
sands for the Christ -- the very cove he's been looking for. Vitamin Q
is, of course, a dietary supplement promoting a search for answers. 

What’s, then, your new world view? 
Way more A.C.L.U.? 
Climate change? Déjà vu
Twitter? ZOMBIES…? (Adieu!

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