"Forfend! Forfend! Who'd play the friend to Lady Mondegreen...?" Some Friends of Lady Mondegreen: Constrained Nonsense in Rhyme

Forfend! Forfend! Who’d play the friend to 
Lady Mondegreen?

This woman slew me kangaroo, then 
laid 'im on de green.

And yet this gal’s had sev’ral pals: one’s 
Thomas, Lord DeBoome,
that fellow who employed me gnu. Then 
Thomas low'r'd de boom.

When sometimes seen (the thought's obscene) with
Viscount Hugh Biehayve,
she'll purr to Hugh, "You devil you. Oh,
vhy cahn't you behave?"

Another mate she’s made of late is 
Dr. Juan Muntz-Wayjez.
Doc fired me cat. On top of that, he 
dock'd 'er one month’s wages.

Some say, I'm told, the lady's strolled with 
Elder Downen-Gropeter.
The man’s a rake. He stalked me snake, then 
'eld 'er down 'n' groped 'er.

(More Friends to come: a work in progress)