Anonymous Babylonian cuneiformist describes Enkidu’s friend Gilgamesh horning in, jilting kismet. “Let ‘Mesh nix oblivion, please!” “Quite right,” spouts trickster Utnapishtim. “Vanquish whosoever x-rays your zucchini.”
Homer’s The Iliad
Achilles balks, cries, “Defraud!” Exits fray. Gigantic horse is Jerry-rigg’d. King loads mercenaries: No one panics. Quorum ransacks splendiferous Troy until victorious warriors x-ray your zucchini.
Homer’s The Odyssey
After battles conclude, Daneans, enthusiastic for getting home, initiate journey. Kirke, Lotus-eaters, Maelstroms, noting ominous quest, remit spoilers, troubling Ulysses’s victory-lap while x-raying your zucchini.
Anon’s The Old Testament
Adam’s bimbo caves, departs Eden. “Free Goshen,” hollars Israel. Jews kill, later, many neighbors over promised quarters. Rabbinical scribes Torah-rize until Voice warns, "X-ray Your Zucchini!”
Hesiod’s Works and Days
Almanac by cultivator depicts examples from Greek husbandry. “Idleness jaundices, kiboshing love, marriage: No one profits. Quick riches sully those un'cultivated,' venal wastrels x-raying your zucchini.”
Aesop’s Fables
Aesop, borrowing classic depictions (epics, fictions, 'grues,' howlers in journals, koans, legends, myths), noting one point, quaintly re-renders stories. These, unusually vivid, will x-ray your zucchini!
Thomas Mann’s The Magic Mountain
Alpine blizzards chill Davos’s environs, freeze-drying gentleman Hans. Invalid Joachim? Kaput: Lung malady. Naphta opines provocatively. “Quiet,” rails Settembrini -- too vehemently? Weimar x-rays your zucchini.
Marcel Proust’s In Search Of Lost Time
All because cattelyas don’t ever fade, Gilberte, having initiated jealousy kissing little Marcel, needles Odette, pretty quickly ruining Swann -- thereby undervaluing Vinteuil's waltz, “X-raying Yourbeletieff’s Zucchini.”
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