Other Babies, Other Whatever

Toddler shouts “Options for
everyone!” during e-
mergency shareholders’
meeting on Wall Street. So: 
baby on board...? 
Yessir! Baby on board!
Baby on board,
baby on board!

Kid shadows NBA
all-star James Hardin, ef-
fectively blocks James's
sure triple double. So:
baby on board...?
Nossir! Baby on Beard!
Baby on Beard,
Baby on Beard!

Scholar-cum-cherub de-
livers smart lecture on
every third sonnet of
W. Shakespeare. So: 
baby on Beard...? 
Nossir! Baby on Bard!
Baby on Bard,
baby on Bard.

Newborn is challenging 
Admiral's claim to've ar- 
rived at the Pole far a-
head of his rivals. So:
baby on Bard...?
Nossir! Baby on Byrd!
Baby on Byrd,
baby on Byrd!

Nipper attempts (unsuc-

cessf’lly, of course) to pre-
vent Larry Legend's strong
drive to the hoop. So: a
baby on Byrd...?,
Nossir! Baby on Bird!
Baby on Bird,
baby on Bird!

Preemie has slander’d black

civil rights activist
Rustin for that legend’s
homophile lifestyle. So:
baby on Bird...?
Nossir! Baby on Bayard!
Baby on Bayard,
baby on Bayard!

Suckling makes nuisance of

self after chugging the
rest of its older sib’s
six pack of lager. So: 
baby on Bayard...? 
Nope! Baby on Bud!
Baby on Bud,
baby on Bud! 

Papoose makes similar

nuisance of self after
smoking his squaw/mother’s
second-hand peace pipe. So:
baby on Bayard...?
Nope! Baby on bud!
Baby on bud,
baby on bud!

Toddler performs an

increasingly difficult
series of rope tricks while
riding wild porker. So: 
baby on bud...?
Nossir! Baby on boar!
Baby on boar,
baby on boar!

Red-hatted child clambers

onto plump Potus’s
shoulder while joining in
“Send her back” chanting. So: 
baby on boar...?
Nossir! Baby on boor!
Baby on boor,
baby on boor!

Brainy bambino de-

nies quantum theories of
Danish Nobel-prize-
awardee Neils, physicist.
baby on boor...?
Nossir! Baby on Bohr!
Baby on Bohr,
baby on Bohr!

Youngster identifies

body of water in
neighboring Canada;
claims it for U.S.A.
Baby on Bohr...?
Nossir! Bay beyond border!
Bay beyond border,
bay beyond border!

Afro-American

neonate cyclist in-
sists infant girlfriend climb
on right behind him. So: 
bay beyond border...?
Nope! "Babe be on board!"
"Babe be on board,
Babe be on board!"

Ser’ously under-age

sommelier praises
characteristics of
favorite vintage. So:
"Babe be on board!...?
Nossir! Babe on Bordeaux!
Babe on Bordeaux,
babe on Bordeaux!

Angry bambino at-

tacks actor Pitt for re-
fusing adoption of
him and his twin sister.
Babe on Bordeaux...?
Nossir! Baby on Brad!
Baby on Brad,
baby on Brad!

Kid movie maker’s new

flic shows rare Mesopo-
tamian sex practice,
garners news coverage.
Baby on Brad...?
Nossir! Babylon bared!
Babylon bared,
Babylon bared!

Little precocious kid

tells of his role in the
birth of large litter of
kittens in window well.
Babylon bared...?
Nossir! Baby on brood!
Baby on brood,
baby on brood!

Angelic little one

disses provocative
(sadly, deceased) TV
chef name of Anthony.
Baby on brood...?
Nossir! Babe on Bourdain!
Babe on Bourdain,
babe on bourdain!

Kid explores Nordic an-

cestors with "Finding Your
Roots" TV host Henry
Louis (“Skip”) Gates, Jr.
Babe on Bourdain...?
Nossir! Baby Jan Bjord!
Baby Jan Bjord,
baby Jan Bjord!

Toddler arrested en-

gaging in oldest pro-
fession in New Orleans
famed red-light district. So: 
baby Jan Bjord…?
Nossir! Babe in bordello!
Babe in bordello,
babe in bordello!

In series of TV spots,

child invokes name of a
creamery spokes icon –
Elsie the Cow. Is this
babe in bordello...?
Nope! Baby on Borden’s!
Baby on Borden’s,
baby on Borden’s!

Kid, atop mostly nude

body of aging French
starlet ‘tween takes for her
biopic, comments. So:
baby on Borden's...?
Nope! Babe on Bardot!
Babe on Bardot,
babe on Bardot!

Toddler mounts one-man pro-

duction of Broadway's famed
musical nod to the
Elvis induction. So:
babe on Bardot...?
Nossir! Baby on “Birdie”!
Baby on “Birdie,”
baby on “Birdie”!

Sweetheart’s hotel on one

property helps her to
dominate in kinder-
garten Monopoly. 
Baby on "Birdie"...?
Nope! Baby on Boardwalk!
Baby on Boardwalk,
baby on Boardwalk!

Rug rat wins culin’ry

contest with purloin'd Pa-
risian-made recipes

torn from French cookbooks. So: 

baby on Boardwalk...?
Nope! Baby on Bordelaise!
Baby on Bordelaise,
baby on Bordelaise!

Brendan's three sheets to the
wind again...or do those 
shutter'd lids merely dis-
play his disinterest…? So:
baby on Bordelaise...?
Nope! Behan, bored! 
B. Behan, bored,
B. Behan, bored!

Sorry: that IKEA

model of highchair for

toddlers…? Available
only in blå or grön. 
B. Behan, bored...?
Nej, nej! Baybe Jannbøhrd!
Baybe Jannbøhrd,
Baybe Jannbøhrd! 

Infant nails difficult

move on a half pipe – this

during competitive

skateboarding regionals. 

Baybe Jannbøhrd…?

Nossir! Baby on board!

Baby on board,

baby on board!