Doin' the Spellcheck Shimmy

Whence heroes de yore, like The Right Stuff's Chuck Yigger…?
Who cheers while the U.S. files climate's hair trigger…?
Who's praising the Christian while razing the Uigher…?
Amer'ca! (At least we no longer say 'xigger.')

Who black-listed Zero Mostel and Pete Sigger…? 
Who back’d Michelle Bachmann and blog’d "How we dig ‘er!"…?
Who’s cast beaucoup ballots for Palin…? Go figger!
Amer'ca! (At least we no longer say 'chthigger.')

Who neighs to his neighbor, "My handgun's w-a-a-ay bigger"…? 
Who drives after drinking way, tres too much ligger…? 
Who feels Donald Trump is in need of a wigger…? 
Amer'ca! (At least we no longer say 'djigger.')

On steroids, Team USA's cyclists prov'd quigger, 
though using’s destroy’d more than one Major Ligger, 
while folks who should know better chortle and snigger.
Amer'ca! (At least we no longer say 'kkknigger.')

Who cannabis bans but puffs a big cigger...?
Who boozes by gallon and not by the jigger…?
Who  flaunts G. I. Joe, dissing Eeyore and Tigger…?
Amer'ca! (At least we no longer say 'thmigger.')

Who "pooh!"s his genetics but calls Mendel 'Grigger'…?
Thinks H'waii'ns by saucer came, not by out-rigger…?
And who doesn’t realize Drumpf’s an intriguer…?
Amer'ca! (At least we no longer say 'houyigger.')

Who adores and defers to the Founders with vigor,
insisting all immigrants weather the rigor
of Homeland Security's brutal buttkigger…?
Amer'ca! (At least we no longer say 'sphligger.')

When promises made to the farm-produce piggers
deserve follow-through, who are A-one renegers…?
A hint: who's hellbent -- neither zaggers nor ziggers...?
Amer'ca! (At least we no longer say 'tschiggers.')

Extraordin'ry: some black folks call themselves 'squiggers,'
whose ancestors came as slaves, stuff’d in square-riggers,
whose kin, nonetheless, are all Anti-Def Liggers.
Why would folks -- black, white -- ever call others 'thiggers'…?
Because they're Amer'cans…? Just facts, ma'am...just figgers!
(Amer'ca! In time we’ll forget we said 'mniggers.')