The Gaza Strip: once holy lands.
The Stasi Grip hunts cold, mean hands.
Moral:
Loose lips closed don't get hosed!
When "Get a job!" you're task'd to do,
just jet a gob.* Then ask, "Says who...?"
* To spurt, spout, gush or otherwise spit out
a lump or blob of slimy or viscous substance --
in this case, a squirt of tobacco juice.
Moral:
The unemploy'd seem so-o-o-o annoy'd.
The Borden Cow's now still'd her "Moo!"
The Corden Bow's when James gets through.
Moral: (to come)
William, in
the Norman Conquest,
crack'd the
Saxon battlefront.
Harvey, in a
Korman non-quest,
opted not
to scavenge hunt.
Moral:
Who'd vanquish
England first must deem
to Plymouth
rock and Bristol
cream.
Cole Porter cribb'd Shakespeare
to pen "Kiss Me Kate."
Pole Courter wild women
from Warsaw would date.
Moral:
Taming shrews bests Venetian Jews.*
* "Kiss Me Kate," based on the Bard's
"The Taming of the Shrew," was Porter's
longest-running show. "Shylock," a 1940
Tamil-language musical adaptation of
"The Merchant of Venice," failed com-
mercially. (Attention, film buffs: here's
a film you'll never see on TCM.**)
** No prints of "Shylock" survive.
Stephen Colbert hosts “The
Late Show” on CBS. (He’s achieved
household-word status already.)
Kyiv-in-Seoul Bear…? The Ukrainian Zoo
of Korea is home to the cutest darn teddy.
Moral:
It's an Ursa made yer day.*
* Suggested by GFH.
Pecos Bill, ol’ cowpokes say,
broke buckin’ broncs -- tye-yippee-yay!
--
while Blake O’Spill gets thrown off
bulls
at Lone Star cow-town tractor pulls.
Moral:
No matter if your doggerel be solar or sublunar,
Do not let Herr Udishion run away with Rev’d Spooner!
Bunyan was the giant lumberjack
who ‘Paul’ was christen’d.
Pun-Yan, nicknamed “Bawl”…?
The
Chinese punster. (No one listen’d).
Moral:
Pilgrim’s Progress…Giant’s Onions...
(Wait! Beware conflated
Bunyans!)
Native princess Pocahontas:
John Rolfe loved her. (So did Disney.)
Drumpf derides and mocks this woman.
(Lay’n’ a “Hoax Upon Us,” isn’ he…?)
Moral:
Ms. Warren ain't foreign!
Casey Jones…? A locomotive driver.
Crush’d! (Too graphic…?)
So: who sets out those orange thingies…?
J. C. Cones, from Traffic.
Moral:
Stay in your lane
or 'twill happen again.
Mister Clean – tough is the operative word --
kiss’d her mean. (Rough'd up his girlfriend, I heard.)
Moral:
Baseboard, sink, tub and tile:
consummated. (With a smile.)
Vale of Tears…? A metaphor
for life’s distress. (Most dread
it.)
“Tale of Virs”…? A roman
‘bout the Roman men who tread it.*
Moral:
Life before (and after!)
death…?
‘Tis thought ’tis naught but shibboleth.
* ‘It’ is intended to refer to the valley.
If that pronoun is heard as referring to
the metaphor, then the final line must
be
amended to read “…men who spread it.”
Charles Dickens crafts a “Carol”
mending Scrooge, once landlord feral.
Darl’s* chickens…? Fancied birds
acknowledged not in Faulkner’s
words.
Moral:
Charles’s cranks and spooks are
curious.
Bundren’s boys…? Un”sound. And furi”ous!
* Darl Bundren eventually goes mad
in William Faulkner’s As I Lay
Dying.
