A CRT Primer (Unpub)

Whence heroes de yore,
like The Right Stuff's Chuck Yigger…?
Who cheers as the U.S.
files climate's hair trigger…?
Who's praisin’ the Christian
while razin’ the Uigher…?
 
Who black-listed Zero
Mostel ‘n’ Pete Sigger…? 
Who back’d Michelle Bachman
and blog’d "How we dig ‘er!"…?
Who cast bags of ballots
for Palin…? Go figger!
 
Who neighs to his neighbor,
"My gun be w-a-a-ay bigger"…? 
Who drives after drinkin’
way, wa-a-a-ay too much ligger…? 
Who thinks Donald Drumof
has no need of a wigger…? 
 
On steroids, Team USA's
cyclists ride quigger,
though usin’s destroy’d 
more than one Major Ligger,
while boys who know better
still chortle ‘n’ snigger.
 
Who bans marijuana
but puffs a big cigger…?
Who boozes by gallon
and never by jigger…?
Who flaunts G. I. Joe, 
dissin’ Eeyore ‘n’ Tigger…?
 
Who "pooh!"s Mendel's gene work
while callin’ him 'Grigger'…?
Thinks H'waii'ns by spaceship came,
not by out-rigger…?
And who doesn’t think Donald
Drumpf’s The Intrigguer…?
 
Who prefers to defer to
the Founders with vigor,
insistin’ all immigrants
weather the rigor
of Homeland Security's
brutal butt-kigger…?
 
When promises made
to the farm-produce piggers
deserve follow-through,
who are A-one renegers…?
A hint: who's hellbent (nor be
zaggers nor ziggers)…?
 
Whose ancestors came here
ensconced in square-riggers…?
Whose immigrants’ kin support
Anti-Def Liggers…?
I’m quoting just facts, ma’am…
just facts, ma'am, and figgers!