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Monday, February 28, 2022

Who's the Patron Saint...? (11)

...of air conditioning technicians...?
St. Edward the Confessor the Compressor

...of tenants...?
St. James the Lesser the Lessee

...of spin doctors...?
St. Francis Xavier Savvier 

...of big box retailers...? 
St. Stanislaus Kostka Costco

...of the tall and plus-sized...? 
St. Pius the Tenth the Tent

...of spelunkers...?
St. Simeon Stylites Stalactites 

...of sufferers from sexually transmitted diseases...?
Bede the Venerable the Venereal
 
...of ambulance chasers...?
St. Therese of Lisieux of Let's Sue!
 
...of former Alcoholics Anonymous members...?
St. Bernadette Soubirous Sober...? You...?  
 
...of newsprint puzzle solvers...?
St. John of the Cross of the Crossword.
 
...of untalented ice-capades performers...?
St. Brendan the Navigator the Naff Figure-Eighter.
 
...of the long-suffering...?
St. Theresa of Avila of HalfaLoaf.
 
...of initiators of hostile takeovers...?
St. Thomas Aquinas AquireUs!
 
...of sufferers from eating and drinking disorders...? 
St. Hildegarde of Bingen of Bingin.'  
 
...of Arab Conservative politicians...?
St. John the Baptist the Ba'athist.
 
...of alternative medicine healers...?
St. Joseph of Arimathea of Aromatherapy. 
 
...of tiresome Irish storytellers...?
St. Charles Borromeo Bore o' Mayo.
 
...of edible seaweed farmers...?
St. Philip Neri Nori.
 
...of corrupt senators...?
St. Anthony of Padua of Pad-Your-Wallet.
 
...of chocoholics...?
St. John Bosco.
 
...of rogues and rascals...?
St. Joan of Arc of Arch.
  
...of uncontrollable potty-mouths...?
St. Martin of Tours of Tourettes.
 
...of practitioners of the filibuster...?
St. John the Divine the Defyin.'
 
...of highway civil engineers...?
St. James the Greater the Grader.
 
...of stand-up comics...?
St. Isaac Jogues Jokes.
 
...of couch potatoes...?
St. Ignatius of Loyola of Lie-All-Ovah.
 
...of refrigerator adhesive retailers...?
St. Albertus Magnus Magnet.
 
...of infatuates...?
St. Aloysius Gonzaga GoneGaga.
 
...of the morbidly obese...?
St. Augustine of Hippo of Hippos.
 
...of LGBTQs...?
St. Francis of Assisi of Us Sissies.
 
...of soothsayers...?
St. Bernard of Clairvaux of Clairvoyance.
 
...the easily horrified...?
St. Vincent de Paul d'Appall'd.
 
...of effete tipplers...?
St. Alphonsus Liguri Liquory 
 
...of closet drinkers...?
St. Joseph of Cupertino of Cup o' Tea, No...?
 
...of derelict alcoholics...?
St. Juan Capistrano CuppaSterno

2 comments:

  1. Such fun you must have had coming up with these clever puns!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love this one!! I'm cryin'! Now I need to think some up. ;-)

    ReplyDelete

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