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Thursday, June 30, 2022

That Anti-Sprat Syndrome (11)

     Paterfamilias Jack, 
playing ying/gammon to 
spouse's yang/lard, would, 
as Goose has it, "lick the 
platter clean." 
     Not so in the US of A. 

     Blue states would
state, "Blue is good,"
when red states said,
"Blue's bad."
     Thus blinded, they've
no mind to save
the nation's bacon. 
(Sad.)

Wednesday, June 29, 2022

The Name (11)

The name of the song 
is call'd "Styes in My Arse."
But what the name's call'd 
may be wrong.
The name really is 
"How to Neut a Wild Shoe."
But that's just 
the name of the song. 
The song's really call'd 
"Have Some Aces of Pete's." 
But that's merely 
what the song's call'd.
The song really is 
"What's the Name of the Song...?"
Let me sing it! 
Too long have I've stall'd.

Monday, June 20, 2022

Before, Miss Mupp (11)

Before, Miss Mupp, you flub it up,
you might just write it down.
Is it, when blurbs cry out for verbs,
not craft to draft a noun...?
     As tragedy expands, you'll see 
it's no mean feat to clown.
Nor be you keen on bein' green
when all you've been is brown.
     You can't abide the countryside,
but fled the dreaded town.
If pennies bought one tender thought, 
how many'd buy a crown...?
     When silly isles engender smiles,
which landscapes spawn a frown...? 
Would you be saved had you but waved...?
Or were you sure to drown...?

Sunday, June 19, 2022

Warum...? (11)

We're aware of a Houyhnhnm named Willem
(call'd by women wits 'Wim' on a whim).
Not since Dickens's Tim
or that Kipling kid Kim
had we had us a homeboy like him.

When abortionists, willin' to kill 'im
(bein' dark devotees of the tomb),
grew too warm, from the womb,
railin,' "Room! I need roo-oom!"
Willem moon'd, "Ma'amI'll miss ya. Va-room!"

Saturday, June 18, 2022

Come Night: Part Psuedo Pantoum, Part Pitiful Plea (11)

Come night, we, staring, spot a star
where, normally, no sparklers are,
imagine it some magic place
where, moons ago, some master race

(there, normally, no sparklers are)
conspires to avoid collapse --
where, moons ago, some master race
by eu-evolving, eu-adapts.

Conspiring to avoid collapse,
this dynasty from outer space
by eu-evolving (it adapts)
fends off a fatal fall from grace.

This dynasty from outer space
where normally no sparklers are
fends off a fatal fall from grace.
(Here's hoping that is who we are.)

Thursday, June 16, 2022

The Book of Eggcentricity (11)

The book's "covars" 1 through 4...? 
Just modified cardboard egg carton. 
The "teggst" inside is a horizontal roll 
accordion-folded into 2 1/4" by 6", 
each panel featuring "distegg" and 
b/w line image celebrating some 
punn'd take on 'egg,' 'oeuf,' 'roe,'  
'ova,' 'huevo' etc. The author is the 
at-one-time obscure poetaster Ovid 
deWayne-Bowe. The man's "disteggs" 
currently number 97, with more 
imagery to come; they read as follows:






 
Sheggspeare's "Eggs: You'll Like It" ran
'til kitchen critics chose to pan.

"Eggstra! Eggstra! Read about it!"
Scrambling, hard-boil'd noeufsboys shout it. 

Sultan of Eggypt "EggSaladin"
was a Sunni-side-up Kurdish paladin.

Mar-a-Leggo, Mar-a-Leggo:
home from home to "I'm-all-eggo."

Malcolm Eggs's "Any ness-
essary means" means... (Can't you guess...?) 

Ludwegg von Beeggtoeufen, "Egmont" composer:
he opens with Lieder. So...what's the blolk's closer.

They've scrambled the Loeuftwaffe, Allies: awaken!
(Just Dresden their waffles: that might save your bacon.)  

To eggtors in dramas I say, "Bregg a legg!" 
But eggs require bregging -- to make lemonegg.

The Nigerian city call'd Leggos...?
Very far from the river call'd Peggos. 

Across the country have I rambled.
Which...? Ameregga the Scrambl'd.

Here be Islam's "Lay'd Egg" Aga.
He's the macho Lady Gaga.
 
Hals's "Laughing Caviar"...?
We know who both those eggheads are.

A crime 'n' vice facilitator...?
Veggas. (What you lay'd here stay'd here!)

Direggtor of the OeufBI
J. Eggar Oeufer, hard-boil'd guy.

Igor, "Eye"gor, EggGore...nu...?
Strawinsky, Feldman -- Al Gore, too.

Othello. Ieggo. The Bard.
One wroete plays wherein t'other fyolks starr'd.

Hystereggtomy's scarr'd poeuforation
shows she shan't need a tubal ligation.

Gulegg; Stalegg: both are clinks.
Stalegg; Gulegg: each one stinks. 

Gravity waves...? Near the top of the frame.
Gr'ova'ty huevos...? Below. (Not the same.) 

To analyze albumen quick...?
A Gegger counter's "chick-chick-chick..."

"We shall ovacome! sings Seegger.
(Fyolkie Pete's no minor leaguer.) 

The leaves of an eggsquisite corpse
one's visual perception warps.

Which bad eggs aren't to be repeated...?
@#$% [eggspletives deleted].

A column of eggs on a static trapeze...?
Eggspertise, ladies 'n' gents: eggspertise!

Our eggspedition to the summit
heighten'd fears that we might plummet.

The Eggsodus cues Ramses' blues:
ol' Pharaoh'd ne'er seen so few Jews

A stool, some sisal -- life aborted:
Eggsit strateggy, last-resorted. 

Eggstracting swords froem hard-boil'd eggs
(Eggscaliber) a question begs.

Footprints in moondust, ovoidal in shape...?
"The Eggle has landed." [Roll videotape!]  

Eggo chambers play, en "loop,"
cluck-cluckings froem the chicken coop; 

Eggdysiasts will shed their shells
for quite a range of clienteles. 

Eggcents eggú:
I love 'em. (Et vou...?

The sun did Eggcarus ap"poach."
He died -- now fried with self-reproeach.

"Egg bin ein Berliner!" --AFH 'n' --JFK
(The middle F abbreviates [REDACTED], so they say.)

I, when sign'd to stand behind
the egg ball, find I'm disinclined.

Duke Elleggton's theme, (call it "Take the Grade A Train")
sounds nothing like Bill Basie's "Rake the Count's Hay Wain."

Czeggosloveggian egg deggoration
is unlegg Roemanian anovulation.

The Dance ov' the Pegguins...? Part Bop danced en herd,
part Ball dels Corsairs, part Armenian Berd.

Dame Eggna Everegg mines Mother Goose --
but with mounds ov' mascara 'n' masses ov' mousse.
 
The CIEgg's a powder keg,
one weaponized with powder'd egg.

"Vivo Heuvo!" (Chegg Huevora
basks in roevolution's aura.)

Eggseggutive Oeufficer Chiefs (CEOs)
are a nickel a dozen each stockholder knows.
 
Captain Quegg commands the Caine.
He's "edggey"...and a tad insane.
 
Breggsit sees the Union Jack
Albumen* quit. ('Twill not be back.)
     * Possibly a mistaken reference to Albion, 
an alternate name for the UK.

Brood hen Boeuffy, Legghorn layer, 
doubles as a vampire slayer.

Billie Hollandaise "Hardegg, Good Morning!" intones.
(For Lady Day, I've this gargantuan Jones.)
 
Comet Bill Haley sings, "Shegg, rattle, roelle!"
(His hip joints eggshibit no motor controele.)

Donald Droeufmpf the Boeuferist
desoeufs more than a swatted wrist.

Arms eggkimbo...? But one 'tude
an ostrich flashes o'er her brood.
 
To megg an omelet, eggs need breggin' --
Armeggedons underteggin.'

Anita Eggberg, zaftegg Swede,
engenders ogles, gua-roen-teed.

Who'll play Andregg Eggasi -- clay court or turf...? 
A seggnificant other...? Yes, Stoeuffi: your soeuf!
 
Aleggroe non troepo let's leg it, mon frere
Thou'll not play the Tortoise...? Then act like the Hare.

Alpha, omegga (begginnegg 'n' end)
eggspresses what leggths ro(w/e)s ov' eggs may eggstend.

Roes...? Roes are roes (roes osetra...beluga)... 
by any ol' name (roes molossol...sevruga)...

Adoeuf Eiggmann's bein' tried.
Guilty, he, ov' ovacide.

At Getteggsburg eggspatiates 
Egg Leggcoln. (Will Egg heal the States...?)

Yakoeuf Smirnoeuf, Russian comic,
yolkin' socio-eggonomic.

Tho' Caviar Xugat's the Rumba King,
we're glad Xugi's mad for the highland fling.

What's wrapp'd in meat 'n' nearly round...?
A Scotch egg: let the beggpipes sound!

The Woeuffle Ball...? 'Tis all the rage.
Now every man's a Satchel Paige.

"The Reag & I" is Nancy's book --
a work ov' feggtion, by the look.

God made an Oeuf in seven days:
first chick, first egg. (First mayonnaise...?)

You wheel your Winnebeggo past the mesas ov' Noeuf Meggsico.
Its engine is egglectric; you've no need to stop at Teggsaco!

"Zbegg" Breggzinzki loved pisanki --
one part's Polish, one part's Yankee.

Yova's voiced by Alegg Guinness.
(Note you Yova's ears...? They're spinous!)

There's one Great Legg's with urine fill'd.
(Result of Porta Pottys spill'd...?)
 
"Don Dieggo de la Vegga at your service, Señor.
I'm Zorroe's alter eggo, here to give you what for."

When shootin' hoops, the chicken yard
holds fleggrant fowls in low regard.

Un huevo in a Degg-Glo color...?
Crucial as each day groes duller.

"My name's Fried," groeans Dreggnet's Joe --
one hard-boil'd copper, don'cha know.

Who plays (or lays) eggcordion...?
His sonic knots prove Gordian.

If one Great Legg's Superior,
does that megg four inferior...?

Post sev'ral unsuccessful trips,
my ovum blocks the sun: eggclipse!

Donald Droeufmpf's an eggnoramus,
one now infamously famous.

Who'd have her eggs 'n' halve 'em, too,
Eggsacto knives finds tried-'n'-true.

Blue leggoons harbor corals and eggsquisite fish.
Blue leggumes, shell'd, then 'roe'asted 'n' salted...? Delish!

floody mesh, Beggladesh: sotted, eggsotic...
while next door steeps Beggladore. (Both too egguatic.)

"Whose egg can you see nigh as Don's churls dish blight...?"
(Meanwhile, Droeufmpf's white supremacists sweep further right.)

Megg Jegger's a Stone -- Megg's a Roeling Stone, nu...?
(Megg is not in Nirvana; Megg's not in the Who.)

Teggnology companies...? Geggle's my pick.
Weggipedia's next. (Which came first -- -egg or chick...?)
 
Across sere Saharas roeam Tuareggs, blue-dyed.
(They enjoy their eggs basted...and hard-boil'd...and fried...)

John's "bit o' floeuf" (Yolko Ovo by name)
turnin' 90...? Sho'nuf! (What might Renggo eggsclaim...?)

Some coves like hors d'oeuvres served on undersized buns, 
whereas I dig hors d'oeufs(Like them salmon roe ones.)

When eggs (or their surrogates) start in to scuffle,
the common result is one Grade A koeufuffle.

 The saddest o' words voiced by tongue or by pen...? 
"Droeufmpf's meggin' Ameregga Grade Zed...eggain!"

My shoplifted T-shirt shouts, "I New Yolk,"
which, indeed, goes to show: even yeggs can be woke.

On curds and huevos gums Señora Muffet.
(At Ranch Desayuno, the guests learn to rough it.)

"Put eggs back in 'Eggsmas'," say Santa and Bunny.
"But don't get all veggs'd when they're rotten or runny."

 Leggos, construction toy eggstroedinaire, 
makes Christiansen, Ole seggs-billionaire.

Omegga-3 acid: how much is in roe...?
This Roe v Wegg measuring balance may show.

C²...? Just a² + b² ('tis true).
Pytheggoras knew this...and now so do you.

Egguators encircle all planets like Oeuf.
Each oeufling concludes this(Who fails to...? Each Smoeuf.)

Rounds of applauseMore: a standing 'ova'tion.
They, egging the orchestra on, show elation.

Greggory Pegg's Captain Egghab's a salt.
"Drowning deaths aboard Pequod...? Them's Moby Dick's fault."

Cathedrals 'n' wine bars dot Aieggs-en-Proevence.
(Aieggs-la-Chapelle, too...and similar haunts.)

rebel cum firebrand was young Malcolm Eggs.
As we all do, Eggs dies. Still, Eggs' lessons have legs.

"Proeuf's in the pudding" the commonplace goes...
which proeuf is a custard. (This ev'ry chef knows.)

     (a work in p'roe'gress) 

Wednesday, June 15, 2022

A Bagatelle in B (11)

Departing Bagram Airfield, 
we're served bagels and baguettes.
Our pilot's Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh. 
Embrace Shree, shall we...? Let's!
     As bagpipes sounded, stewards found 
some baggage missed their loading.
If bags -- air-, vomit- -- failed to board,
such surely'd be foreboding. 
     "Your bean bags and your bota bags...? 
Like duffle bags -- all here,"
co-pilot Bilbo Baggins blurts, 
"stored safely in the rear."
     "We did misplace some body bags,
some book- and burn-bags, too,"
the Emir of Baghdad observed.
"And douche bags just won't do."
     Then hostess Enid Bagnold...

     (a work in progress)

26 Letters, 61 Strokes: (Unpub) A Schematic by Ulysses Poe

 


RoloDicks: (Unpub) Illustration by Ulysses Poe

 






Concept drawing for
information storage device 
designed to keep tabs on the 
names and demographical data
of famous fictional detectives, 
PIs and literary gumshoes 
of various stripes.

Letter C (Unpub) from A Musical Alphabet: Illustration by Ulysses Poe

 






C is for Czerny.

One Fine Night at the Karaoke Bar: Illustration by Ulysses Poe

 "...a drinking jag, a lighted fag, 

some Karaok,' some fire, some smoke..."

Brew Noel: Illustration by Ulysses Poe

 


Tuesday, June 14, 2022

Who Was THAT Mask'd Man...?





Marlon Brando as the

Don Vito Corleone Ranger.

Who Was THAT Mask'd Man...?

 





Billy Graham as the

Saved by Faith Alone Ranger.

Who Was THAT Mask'd Man...?









Liberace as the 

Eau de Cologne Ranger. 

Who Was THAT Mask'd Man...?

 





Carl Sagan as the

We Are Not Alone Ranger.

Who Was THAT Mask'd Man...?

 





Orson Welles ("We'll

sell no wine before 

its time...") as the 

Cote du Rhone Ranger.


Who Was THAT Mask'd Man...?

 





Walter Catlett as the 

Bois du Boulogne Ranger.

Who Was THAT Mask'd Man...?

 




Former Israeli PM 

("Hi-Yo, Silver...

Oy, Vay!") as the

Ariel Sharone Ranger.


Before Tweedle Drumpf There Was Tweedle Dick & Tweedle Dubya

 


Doubling Back By Frost's on a Homonymy Evening






Whose snoods

these are 

I think 

guys know.




Whose ouds

are these...?

D'ya plink

or blow...?








Whose food

bar, this...?

Might chink-

eyes know...?








Whose 'hoods

be dese...?

Dey stink,

my bro!

Sunday, June 12, 2022

Senior Residents from Vaud Retirement Villa George Burns Caricature by Uly Poe

 


Senior Residents from Vaud Retirement Villa Gracie Allen Caricature by Uly Poe

 


Senior Residents from Vaud Retirement Villa Jimmy Durante Caricature by Uly Poe

 


Senior Residents from Vaud Retirement Villa Caricature of Eddie Cantor by Uly Poe

 


Senior Residents from Vaud Retirement Villa Caricature of WC Fields by Uly Poe

 


I Spork New York Pts 1 & 2

 



Counting to TWELeVEn Through Thirteen Characteristics or Catch the Clinamen An Oulipian Image by Ulysses Poe

 

   One: 
1 whole letter [e]

   Two:
1 dotted line (diagonal)

   Three: 
1 orange circle

   Four: 
2 lower case letters [e, n]

   Five: 
2 columns (vertical)

   Six:
2 dotted lines (horizontal)

   Seven: 
3 rows (horizontal)

   Eight: 
3 dotted lines (vertical)

   Nine:
6 capital letters

   Ten:
7 halved letters

   Eleven: 
10 subscripted numbers

   Twelve: 
12 unsubscripted numbers

   Thirteen: 
14 half-letters


Green Architecture The Three Pearamids

 


21st Century Potus Tweedle Drumpf

 


21st Century Potus Tweedle Dubya

 


Still More Sketches of Poissons of Interest Saul Bass


 

Still More Sketches of Poissons of Interest Tommy Tuna

 


Still More Sketches of Poissons of Interest Walleye Shawn

 


Still More Sketches of Poissons of Interest Federico Garcia l'Orca

 


Still More Sketches of Poissons of Interest Char

 


Christmas Day: A Mare Egg...

     "A Mare Egg, Her Wrist, "Miss Two 'U'"