The book's "covars" 1 through 4...?
Just a modified cardboard egg carton.
The "teggst" inside is a horizontal roll
accordion-folded into 2 1/4" by 6",
each panel featuring a "distegg" and
a b/w line image celebrating some
punn'd take on 'egg,' 'oeuf,' 'roe,'
'ova,' 'huevo' etc. The author is the
at-one-time obscure poetaster Ovid
deWayne-Bowe. The man's "disteggs"
currently number 97, with more
imagery to come; they read as follows:
Sheggspeare's "Eggs: You'll Like It" ran
'til kitchen critics chose to pan.
"Eggstra! Eggstra! Read about it!"
Scrambling, hard-boil'd noeufsboys shout it.
Sultan of Eggypt "EggSaladin"
was a Sunni-side-up Kurdish paladin.
Mar-a-Leggo, Mar-a-Leggo:
home from home to "I'm-all-eggo."
Malcolm Eggs's "Any ness-
essary means" means... (Can't you guess...?)
Ludwegg von Beeggtoeufen, "Egmont" composer:
he opens with Lieder. So...what's the blolk's closer.
They've scrambled the Loeuftwaffe, Allies: awaken!
(Just Dresden their waffles: that might save your bacon.)
To eggtors in dramas I say, "Bregg a legg!"
But eggs require bregging -- to make lemonegg.
The Nigerian city call'd Leggos...?
Very far from the river call'd Peggos.
Across the country have I rambled.
Which...? Ameregga the Scrambl'd.
Here be Islam's "Lay'd Egg" Aga.
He's the macho Lady Gaga.
Hals's "Laughing Caviar"...?
We know who both those eggheads are.
A crime 'n' vice facilitator...?
Veggas. (What you lay'd here stay'd here!)
Direggtor of the OeufBI
J. Eggar Oeufer, hard-boil'd guy.
Igor, "Eye"gor, EggGore...nu...?
Strawinsky, Feldman -- Al Gore, too.
Othello. Ieggo. The Bard.
One wroete plays wherein t'other fyolks starr'd.
Hystereggtomy's scarr'd poeuforation
shows she shan't need a tubal ligation.
Gulegg; Stalegg: both are clinks.
Stalegg; Gulegg: each one stinks.
Gravity waves...? Near the top of the frame.
Gr'ova'ty huevos...? Below. (Not the same.)
To analyze albumen quick...?
A Gegger counter's "chick-chick-chick..."
"We shall ovacome! sings Seegger.
(Fyolkie Pete's no minor leaguer.)
The leaves of an eggsquisite corpse
one's visual perception warps.
Which bad eggs aren't to be repeated...?
@#$% [eggspletives deleted].
A column of eggs on a static trapeze...?
Eggspertise, ladies 'n' gents: eggspertise!
Our eggspedition to the summit
heighten'd fears that we might plummet.
The Eggsodus cues Ramses' blues:
ol' Pharaoh'd ne'er seen so few Jews
A stool, some sisal -- life aborted:
Eggsit strateggy, last-resorted.
Eggstracting swords froem hard-boil'd eggs
(Eggscaliber) a question begs.
Footprints in moondust, ovoidal in shape...?
"The Eggle has landed." [Roll videotape!]
Eggo chambers play, en "loop,"
cluck-cluckings froem the chicken coop;
Eggdysiasts will shed their shells
for quite a range of clienteles.
Eggcents eggú:
I love 'em. (Et vou...?)
The sun did Eggcarus ap"poach."
He died -- now fried with self-reproeach.
"Egg bin ein Berliner!" --AFH 'n' --JFK
(The middle F abbreviates [REDACTED], so they say.)
I, when sign'd to stand behind
the egg ball, find I'm disinclined.
Duke Elleggton's theme, (call it "Take the Grade A Train")
sounds nothing like Bill Basie's "Rake the Count's Hay Wain."
Czeggosloveggian egg deggoration
is unlegg Roemanian anovulation.
The Dance ov' the Pegguins...? Part Bop danced en herd,
part Ball dels Corsairs, part Armenian Berd.
Dame Eggna Everegg mines Mother Goose --
but with mounds ov' mascara 'n' masses ov' mousse.
The CIEgg's a powder keg,
one weaponized with powder'd egg.
"Vivo Heuvo!" (Chegg Huevora
basks in roevolution's aura.)
Eggseggutive Oeufficer Chiefs (CEOs)
are a nickel a dozen each stockholder knows.
Captain Quegg commands the Caine.
He's "edggey"...and a tad insane.
Breggsit sees the Union Jack
Albumen* quit. ('Twill not be back.)
* Possibly a mistaken reference to Albion,
an alternate name for the UK.
Brood hen Boeuffy, Legghorn layer,
doubles as a vampire slayer.
Billie Hollandaise "Hardegg, Good Morning!" intones.
(For Lady Day, I've this gargantuan Jones.)
Comet Bill Haley sings, "Shegg, rattle, roelle!"
(His hip joints eggshibit no motor controele.)
Donald Droeufmpf the Boeuferist
desoeufs more than a swatted wrist.
Arms eggkimbo...? But one 'tude
an ostrich flashes o'er her brood.
To megg an omelet, eggs need breggin' --
Armeggedons underteggin.'
Anita Eggberg, zaftegg Swede,
engenders ogles, gua-roen-teed.
Who'll play Andregg Eggasi -- clay court or turf...?
A seggnificant other...? Yes, Stoeuffi: your soeuf!
Aleggroe non troepo let's leg it, mon frere!
Thou'll not play the Tortoise...? Then act like the Hare.
Alpha, omegga (begginnegg 'n' end)
eggspresses what leggths ro(w/e)s ov' eggs may eggstend.
Roes...? Roes are roes (roes osetra...beluga)...
by any ol' name (roes molossol...sevruga)...
Adoeuf Eiggmann's bein' tried.
Guilty, he, ov' ovacide.
At Getteggsburg eggspatiates
Egg Leggcoln. (Will Egg heal the States...?)
Yakoeuf Smirnoeuf, Russian comic,
yolkin' socio-eggonomic.
Tho' Caviar Xugat's the Rumba King,
we're glad Xugi's mad for the highland fling.
What's wrapp'd in meat 'n' nearly round...?
A Scotch egg: let the beggpipes sound!
The Woeuffle Ball...? 'Tis all the rage.
Now every man's a Satchel Paige.
"The Reag & I" is Nancy's book --
a work ov' feggtion, by the look.
God made an Oeuf in seven days:
first chick, first egg. (First mayonnaise...?)
You wheel your Winnebeggo past the mesas ov' Noeuf Meggsico.
Its engine is egglectric; you've no need to stop at Teggsaco!
"Zbegg" Breggzinzki loved pisanki --
one part's Polish, one part's Yankee.
Yova's voiced by Alegg Guinness.
(Note you Yova's ears...? They're spinous!)
There's one Great Legg's with urine fill'd.
(Result of Porta Pottys spill'd...?)
"Don Dieggo de la Vegga at your service, Señor.
I'm Zorroe's alter eggo, here to give you what for."
When shootin' hoops, the chicken yard
holds fleggrant fowls in low regard.
Un huevo in a Degg-Glo color...?
Crucial as each day groes duller.
"My name's Fried," groeans Dreggnet's Joe --
one hard-boil'd copper, don'cha know.
Who plays (or lays) eggcordion...?
His sonic knots prove Gordian.
If one Great Legg's Superior,
does that megg four inferior...?
Post sev'ral unsuccessful trips,
my ovum blocks the sun: eggclipse!
Donald Droeufmpf's an eggnoramus,
one now infamously famous.
Who'd have her eggs 'n' halve 'em, too,
Eggsacto knives finds tried-'n'-true.
Blue leggoons harbor corals and eggsquisite fish.
Blue leggumes, shell'd, then 'roe'asted 'n' salted...? Delish!
A floody mesh, Beggladesh: sotted, eggsotic...
while next door steeps Beggladore. (Both too egguatic.)
"Whose egg can you see nigh as Don's churls dish blight...?"
(Meanwhile, Droeufmpf's white supremacists sweep further right.)
Megg Jegger's a Stone -- Megg's a Roeling Stone, nu...?
(Megg is not in Nirvana; Megg's not in the Who.)
Teggnology companies...? Geggle's my pick.
Weggipedia's next. (Which came first -- -egg or chick...?)
Across sere Saharas roeam Tuareggs, blue-dyed.
(They enjoy their eggs basted...and hard-boil'd...and fried...)
John's "bit o' floeuf" (Yolko Ovo by name)
turnin' 90...? Sho'nuf! (What might Renggo eggsclaim...?)
Some coves like hors d'oeuvres served on undersized buns,
whereas I dig hors d'oeufs. (Like them salmon roe ones.)
When eggs (or their surrogates) start in to scuffle,
the common result is one Grade A koeufuffle.
The saddest o' words voiced by tongue or by pen...?
"Droeufmpf's meggin' Ameregga Grade Zed...eggain!"
My shoplifted T-shirt shouts, "I ♥ New Yolk,"
which, indeed, goes to show: even yeggs can be woke.
On curds and huevos gums Señora Muffet.
(At Ranch Desayuno, the guests learn to rough it.)
"Put eggs back in 'Eggsmas'," say Santa and Bunny.
"But don't get all veggs'd when they're rotten or runny."
Leggos, construction toy eggstroedinaire,
makes Christiansen, Ole a seggs-billionaire.
Omegga-3 acid: how much is in roe...?
This Roe v Wegg measuring balance may show.
C²...? Just a² + b² ('tis true).
Pytheggoras knew this...and now so do you.
Egguators encircle all planets like Oeuf.
Each oeufling concludes this. (Who fails to...? Each Smoeuf.)
Rounds of applause. More: a standing 'ova'tion.
They, egging the orchestra on, show elation.
Greggory Pegg's Captain Egghab's a salt.
"Drowning deaths aboard Pequod...? Them's Moby Dick's fault."
Cathedrals 'n' wine bars dot Aieggs-en-Proevence.
(Aieggs-la-Chapelle, too...and similar haunts.)
A rebel cum firebrand was young Malcolm Eggs.
As we all do, Eggs dies. Still, Eggs' lessons have legs.
"Proeuf's in the pudding" the commonplace goes...
which proeuf is a custard. (This ev'ry chef knows.)
(a work in p'roe'gress)
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