Of Methods and Madness: The Ron DeSantis Story

As Ron doubles down on his book-banning spree, 
loads of woke tomes sink beneath his decree. 

Of phonebook bans Ron's now the Sunshine State's pretor: 
"Discomforting names...? 'Harry,' 'Willie,' 'Rod,' ‘Peter’...” 

Prohibiting cookbooks is part of Ron’s schtick: 
“I'll not watch our kids forced to view ‘Spotted Dick’... 

...nor 'Bubble 'n' Squeak'...nope, nor 'Toad in the Hole' --

woke recipes meant for some bibliopole."

Shall art books be spared, Guv'nor...? “No! 'Cuz they're lewd -- 

woke statues of Romans de-figleaf'd. (They're nude.)” 

But what of Picasso...? And what about Titian...?

"Tits 'n' Pick-Assos...? They lead to coition!"

"History books must treat Uncle Sam right:

so CRT's outlaw'd -- lest power wash'd white.

Econ texts tracing a shrinking rupee...?

"Far too suggestive..." (His base would agree.)

Music instruction books: need they be burn'd...?

"Woke G-strings...? Woke F-holes...? That lot must be spurn'd."

Most sports books remain "no problemo" for Ron, 
“...tho' sports betting books I shall keep my eye on...

...as I stand in the way of our kids and each book...

...to become your next POTUS -- by hook and by crook."

(And by , doubtless, more GOP gobbledegook.)