Bad Mothers & Others

     Mother Russia, Mother Divine, 

Mother Plucker, Mother Night: with so 

many bad mothers to choose from, 

one hardly knows where to begin.

     From "Bum Mums, Bible Edition"

 

Cain's mother -- already familiar with sin --

neglected to teach her tot: "Smite not thy kin!"

     Mrs. Noah concerned with t'where best beast pairs park,

nearly failed to find room for her boys on the ark.

     Moses's ma plopp'd her pup in the Nile.

What luck! He steer'd clear of that starv'd crocodile.

     From "Bum Mums, Nursery Edition"

 

Recall you that mother who dwelt in a shoe...?

Make no mistake: she knew just what to do. 

     Taking a page out of Marquis de Sade,

she spoil'd all her children...nor spared not the rod.

     With no bread on their plates and small broth in the pot,

she thrash'd 'em...then bedded 'em three to a cot.\

Here's a mum, one kin to Hubbards,

non-exempt from empty cupboards,

running short of bones to feed her Rover.

Thus her kids -- both girls and boys --

once they'd eaten all their toys,

rented sep'rate bedsits west of Dover. 

 

     Others

I know'f an ol' cove who caught COVID.

But the tale of his ailment this cove hid.
"No more grins, no more rhymes.
Doh! Such 'int'restin' times'!"
(Do, in lieu, view his new quid-pro-quo vid!)

Our asparagus broker's gone bust.

He's carnivorous! (Isn't he just.)

Still, Asparagus Man's 

ware's asparagus flans.

(Martha Stewart construes 'em "a must.")

It's gospel that the politician/varmint Gopher Cleveland

hails from nowhere in Ohio but a wholly make-believe land.

But half a mo -- there's still more:

Cleveland's VP, Mallard Fillmore,

has align'd with Jews for Jesus and removed to Tel Avivland.